Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 April 9
I've written a full article on the Family Compact where there was a stub. Because this is an important topic in Canadian history, I'd really like some feedback. I've tried to incorporate the original stub text into the article, but I've had to change the 'written voice' to make it all sound the same. Some thoughts on that would be good. thanks in advance
CJ_WeißSchäfer (talk) 11:29, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
I'm a new user and would like to take this page live, I've had it reviewed and I think its ready to go. Would someone please have a second look and move it so that it is published live please. ty
MrGVaughan (talk) 12:35, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Hi there, I'm not an editor, so I cannot help you go live, but I do have a couple thoughts. Pretty good article. You might want to add an infobox, such as Template:Election box candidate with party link and change the UK stuff to Canadian; or use another infobox of your choice. A picture is always good if you have one that the candidate will release copyright to; then upload to the Commons so you can add it to the infobox.
CJ_WeißSchäfer (talk) 14:05, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Done Page moved to live article by another editor. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:31, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Summary Telepreneurship offers measures in terms of roles for the practical application and tradeoffs between strategizing and corporate entrepreneurship within the telecommunication sector. The theory display five major entrepreneurial orientation roles in which each role is defined and explained to measure the interaction between the roles that result in Telepreneurship.By using the Telepreneurship role enactment qualities, organizations could better identify the corporate entrepreneurship activities in the telecommunication industry. This is describe as “Strategic bliss.”
Telepreneurship exist out of 5 roles namely: Environment, Champion, Sponsor, Pioneer and the Marketer
Pierre erasmussa (talk) 14:40, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
- Done Here are a few things you need to do:
- you need to add a lede (WP:Lede) giving a very basic and layman-friendly "here is the subject". The equivalent of "The flooziddle is a type of bamboo flute played by the Furi people of Fooland. The instrument was first mentioned in explorers' reports in the 1500s, but scholars believe the instrument died out by 1900." Just a really simple who/what/when/where with minimal technical jargon, complicated theory, etc.
- you need to add catgories, see WP:Categories. Note that categories should be as specific as possible, only the most general of articles go in top-level cats like "Economics" or "Marketing".
- your "External links" uses bare links; you need to write those out as full citations, as those links as they stand now will become useless if the target page is moved. With a full citation we can Google up where it moved to, or use a cache program.
- Footnotes go after the punctuation.
- Just a few basics to tweak, hope this helps. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:39, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
First article on Wikipedia. Any comments or suggested improvements would be welcome.
Dje1945 (talk) 16:18, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
- Done Looks good overall, though it's rather sparse on footnotes for such a lengthy article. Presumably all that info came from somewhere, so you need to footnote the portions which aren't footnoted. I did some minor copyediting and linking, and moved the geo info from the title, as there's no place of similar name to disambiguate it from. I suggest you just add a WikiProject or two to the Talk page, and then just work on expanding the sourcing. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:13, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
As NASA's shuttle program comes to an end LSP (Launch Services Program) will become more important. Could you please review my article and make it a offically part of Wikipedia.
Thank you!
Tazandsim (talk) 16:41, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Mcryzie (talk) 17:42, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
There is a ton of material on this subject which I and others can add and fill out, We need the outline up to start filling in the weak spots. Is this a start?
SwalleyD (talk) 18:03, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
- Done Took a look, and though I'm not familiar with the topic, wanted to point out some formatting. You're working way too hard by improvising formatting; the actual WP format is a lot easier. As a few minor examples, you're typing [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defect_detector| defect detector]] when all you need is to just put brackets around the word [[defect detector]] --> defect detector. Similarly, you were using "gallery" coding for a single image; instead you can just type: [[File:Example.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Caption]]. Note how I fixed your first image, and it looks better now. Also, don't use </ br> except in very rare formatting cases, just drop a line to leave a space. Also, in your initial paragraph you kept giving each sentence its own line; unnecessary and makes the page look choppy. Check out the fixes I added (you can use the History tab and the Difference buttons to compare drafts and see what's been changed). Here's a link to the "diff" (differences) between your draft and my changes: [1]. For technical info and to solicit help from experts, I recommend you go to the Discussion tab of WP:WikiProject Trains and introduce yourself there. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:27, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
I would like to request input on a draft article that I have been working on: User:Pseudo-Richard/Jews and banking I understand that having an article titled Jews and banking sounds like an antisemitic canard and I am open to changing the title. However, I do think that there is an encyclopedic topic around the role of Jews and the emergence of modern banking. My interest in this topic was sparked by the disastrous attempt by Noleander to create an article titled Jews and money, subsequently retitled to Economic history of the Jews which has since been deleted via AFD (see Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Economic history of the Jews). It was widely recognized by participants in the AFD discussion that there were many problems with Noleander's initial attempt including overly broad scope which suggested a coatrack, poor organization of the article, injudicious selection of sources and misrepresentation of some of the sources. However, a number of editors (myself among them) felt that there were one or more encyclopedic topics covered. It was proposed [2] that some of the issues could be resolved by pulling out the encyclopedic topics and making articles about those specific topics. This article represents part of my efforts to begin that process. I would like to get feedback on the text of the proposed article as well as a critique of the article title. I think the judicious selection of article titles is almost as important as article text because titles change much less frequently than article text does and the article title implies a scope that strongly influences what text is added and deleted from the article. I am not too thrilled with the title "Jews and banking" as it still sounds antisemitic to me. I'm playing with "History of Jews in banking" but I'm open to other suggestions.
Thanks in advance for your assistance.
Pseudo-Richard (talk) 18:34, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Format Improvements made on "Telepreneurship"
Pierre erasmussa (talk) 21:34, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
Format Improvements made on "Telepreneurship"
Pierre erasmussa (talk) 21:34, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
[[3]]
Hi,
I have all of the references from reliable sources in the reference page. I am having difficulty when I attach the reference to a sentence as proof. Please can you help me connect the references or leave me an example below?
For instance, eg I have tried this method no joy <ref>this is an example<ref>
~~~~
