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758 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2023
‘With old-world thinking you have to reach down into the depths of time to raise it to the surface, and compete with the faster-than-thought new world twaddle dazzle skimming across the skin of the spirit.’
There is that great proverb - that until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter. That did not come to me until much later. Once I realised that, I had to be a writer. I had to be that historian. It’s not one man’s job. It’s not one person’s job. But it is something we have to do, so that the story of the hunt will also reflect the agony, the travail- the bravery, even, of the lions.
If you were to examine the power play of government domination in Aboriginal affairs that has occurred over a long period of time, then you would also see the accompanying and perhaps equal extent of deterioration in the practice of Aboriginal story-making or storytelling. Our stories have become confused and cluttered with what is truth and what is believed, of what can be told or what can be heard, and by whom. These stories, a whirl of historical and contemporary fragments of what has happened and what has never been resolved, are at risk of losing their strength in the telling. Our voice can be overwhelmed with the complex of historical intensities in the unique stories of each and every one of us. Our storytelling requires enormous energy, and increasingly requires even greater storytelling skills. It is difficult to get the story straight as a group, as a people, to form a vision. The story becomes one of compromises, and so complex in the nature of grievances that storytelling becomes impossible for the Aboriginal person who should be telling his or her own stories in depth and vision, and it is almost impossible to get the story straight, impossible to reach consensus about stories, and paradoxically, actually contributing to all of those outside processes that are at work to compromise the voice of our oral storytelling culture.
little boy was sleuthing himself away from his befuddlement from coming to terms with being dropped off by his father in this wreckage of an environment. You could call this the result of blind political will enacted over several generations against the original inhabitants, accompanying the bewildering act of feral and gross neglect about the way that these first children of the land were being treated even by their own fathers, but in his seriously impacted child’s mind, an enormous furnace hissed and spat fumes like a volcano amidst a high magnitude earthquake where savage camp dogs chasing one another – more than any person could conjure in a string of random thoughts over any lifetime – bowled each other over in dog fights. And above all of this, floated the Minister of Aboriginal Affairs, the middle-aged blonde lady sitting on her office chair swivelling in the sky loaded with dust particles struck by the sun, who the child kept imagining was a golden angel, who in her gleaming yellow wattle suit and golden jewellery, could easily have unleashed through her outstretched hands missiles firing multi-tongues of fire that shot ‘far out’ across the land while singeing feral cats as they wandered the country in plague proportions. The boy went searching through his mind to find his parents who he seriously wanted to kill..”(p 649).
Anyone on Earth could feverishly dream about good things happening in their particular part of the world, and yearn for better days to come in their mind, but in the world of Praiseworthy imagination, they collectively longed to know what type of man Aboriginal Sovereignty would become, for he was already intimately known in a dreamlike state of mind as being of themselves, the you and me, the representation of truth in the ancestral creation of the collective family – before he had suddenly become the very opposite of the dreamt. And instead, what had now turned up, what came out of the haze of the era, was this vile old paedophile who had materialised the collective view of themselves. They too saw themselves transformed into the worst nightmare that was so frenzied and frightening that you would be too afraid to look and see what you had been told to see, what the white world of media and government saw – that a paedophile looked like Aboriginal people – and so you did not want to look from believing, that if you rose from the hole of eternal doubting you had dug yourself into, you would be destined only to see paedophilia in yourself, and in this old people’s ancestral sovereign world, it felt like some unnatural force had destroyed the eternal flame of hopefulness always seen in a sixty thousand lightning flash thunderstorm’s song.
I am the murderer in waiting, ready to kill police, government, gossipers, as well as those fuckin bitches with fat-lips Ice (members of the community propagating assimilationist views). That is what I feel like these days - just killing everybody.
“There, once back on the ground while resting their wings, whispering about being Noctuidae, of the smorgasbord of colour and patterns on each other’s wings, and reading the story board of evolution in the orange, yellow, mauve in the old lady moths’ night-raiding, nibbling on overripe fruit, for the granny’s cloak moths could be seen flying in circles against the counter-clockwise flight of the four o’clock moths, and so many others that looked like flying leaf-litter landing in the dusty, ancient tangling of drooping vines, where vibrating wings were whispering through the moonlight hours.”
Broken children. Broken thoughts. Links to all times broken? Broken deranged and emotive sick brains?
Still though, Tommyhawk lied by telling the imagined saltwater crocodiles hunting for murderers while swimming in the mangrove roots of the incoming tide, that he had never actually seen anyone take their own life before, even though he had witnessed quite a number of youth suicides, and you could say he had been implicated, although he only watched, which could have been anyone else watching something bad happening in the world but doing nothing about it.
There is no such thing as having no choice- I don’t believe in that. Not for me, and not for you. For others, perhaps, in the abstract- the poor have no choice, the radicalised have no choice, the chemically imbalanced have no choice. When I am feeling particularly objective-after bracing reading group on Capital, say - I might even believe that the rich and powerful have no choice, that they are buffeted by the winds of social forces as much as anyone else. But for you and me I claim the privilege of choosing and being judged for our choosing. Is there any more privilege more bourgeois or more precious?