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419 pages, Paperback
First published August 30, 2011
"One of Ponce de Leon's Puppet crew then started making out with a buxom female Indian puppet. I should have been offended, but I was too busy being turned on."
"She was nice to me. She was nice to everyone. Sometimes I got to sit next to her, which was both ecstasy and agony. I’d get to see her in full, and smell her. If she was wearing a skirt, I’d get to see that little crease running up the side of her thigh that made every neuron in my body flare. It took everything in my power to not grab her in the middle of class and consume her entirely."
“See, I would have gone. At least it’s not some boring regular cocktail party. At least there’s some sort of interesting, awkward dynamic to it.”
“But these are people’s lives being ruined, John. Do you really find it so amusing? What will you say when I have to invite you to my divorce party?”
When we’d talked about marriage a few weeks back, I’d told her I was certain I could stay married to her forever. Yet there remained, deep in the back of my mind, the tiniest shred of doubt. It was that eternal male instinct recoiling from the idea of anything other than total sexual liberation...the little animal in my brain was dissatisfied even with that, still yearning for blondes with impossible bodies and unknown motives. I wondered then if it would ever go away.
I had waited for Alison all this time. I had dreamed beyond my wildest hopes of the day that she would be mine. And now she was. She was mine. All mine. No one else’s. Forever, if I chose"
“You’re very sneaky,” she said.
I held nothing back. “I want to marry you. I want to marry you and be that child’s father. You don’t have to agree to it. I just wanted to say it to you because it feels good to say it. It’s all I say in my head when I look at you now.”
She laughed. “Who are you?”
“Not who I thought I was.”
She kicked back in the seat and ate a fistful of cereal. “You make me feel my age, John.”
“I’m sorry if I do that.”
“No, it’s a good thing. No one makes me feel that way. You look at me like you wanna share a lemonade with me.”
“I can go back in and get one right now, if you like. Finest lemon-flavored high-fructose corn syrup you’ll ever taste.”