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Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me, and Nearly Broke My Heart

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“A delightful and courageous tale and a romping good read. Voila! ” —Mark Greenside, author of I’ll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do)

William Alexander is more than a Francophile. He wants to be French. There’s one small obstacle he doesn’t speak la langue française. In Flirting with French, Alexander sets out to conquer the language he loves. But will it love him back?

Alexander eats, breathes, and sleeps French (even conjugating in his dreams). He travels to France, where mistranslations send him bicycling off in all sorts of wrong directions, and he nearly drowns in an immersion class in Provence, where, faced with the riddle of masculine breasts, feminine beards, and a turkey cutlet of uncertain gender, he starts to wonder whether he should’ve taken up golf instead of French. While playing hooky from grammar lessons and memory techniques, Alexander reports on the riotous workings of the Académie française, the four-hundred-year-old institution charged with keeping the language pure; explores the science of human communication, learning why it’s harder for fifty-year-olds to learn a second language than it is for five-year-olds; and, frustrated with his progress, explores an IBM research lab, where he trades barbs with a futuristic hand-held translator.

Does he succeed in becoming fluent? Readers will be as surprised as Alexander is to discover that, in a fascinating twist, studying French may have had a far greater impact on his life than actually learning to speak it ever would.

“A blend of passion and neuroscience, this literary love affair offers surprise insights into the human brain and the benefits of learning a second language. Reading William Alexander’s book is akin to having an MRI of the soul.” —Laura Shaine Cunningham, author of Sleeping Arrangements
 
“Alexander proves that learning a new language is an adventure of its own--with all the unexpected obstacles, surprising breakthroughs and moments of sublime pleasure traveling brings.” —Julie Barlow, author of Sixty Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong  

266 pages, Paperback

First published September 16, 2014

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About the author

William Alexander

4 books82 followers
William Alexander is the author, most recently, of "Flirting with French." His previous books include the bestseller "The $64 Tomato" and "52 Loaves: One Man's Relentless Pursuit of Truth, Meaning, and a Perfect Crust." The New York Times has said about him, "His timing and his delivery are flawless."

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5 stars
487 (28%)
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392 (22%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 277 reviews
Profile Image for Diane.
1,082 reviews3,069 followers
November 16, 2014
I don't speak French and I don't plan on seriously studying French, but I still thought this memoir was delightful.

I picked up "Flirting With French" because I had enjoyed the author's two previous books. In "The $64 Tomato," William got obsessed with his garden and expended a great amount of energy and money to grow vegetables. In "52 Loaves," he got obsessed with baking bread and spent a year perfecting his recipe, even traveling to other countries to learn their methods.

In this latest book, he got obsessed with trying to speak French.

"Some Americans want to visit France. Some want to live in France. I want to be French. I have such an inexplicable affinity for all things French that I wonder if I was French in a former life ... I love French music and movies. I yearn to play boules in a Provençal village square while discussing French politics. To retire to a little pied-à-terre in the city or a stone mas in the country ... Most of all, I yearn to bring sound — speech — to that quiet café of my dream. I can't be French if I don't speak French. It's time to stop yearning and start learning. True, at 57 I'm well into what is politely referred to as late middle age, and my goal of fluency in French won't come easily. But the way I look at it, next year I'll be 58, and it won't be any easier then."

William tries a variety of methods to learn the language: listening to CDs, taking online courses, emailing with French speakers, and he also goes to an immersion school in France. At one point, his wife asked why he wasn't taking a local French class, and William bristled.

"Classes are a sore point with me for a couple of reasons. Back before the richest country in the world decided to start behaving like one of the poorest, you could generally find an evening 'adult ed' language class at your local high school or community college. Such programs are an endangered species today, and if you can find any language class at all, it's nearly always Spanish. Yet it wasn't all that long ago that French was a language that all well-educated people spoke, the language of culture and diplomacy, to the extent that treaties were drafted in French even when neither country was a francophone nation."

Besides the dearth of French classes in the Mid-Hudson Valley, William admits he still has psychological scars from his high school French teacher, an imposing and terrifying woman, and he dreads being in a classroom again.

I enjoyed William's language journey, and he also shares some good history along the way, including why there are so many English words that have a French origin. (You get a gold star if you guessed that William the Conqueror had a big role in this.) He also mentions some interesting research into language acquisition, and the different theories about how humans learn to communicate. (Tip: Start studying a foreign language as early as you can, preferably by age 6. Research shows it gets more and more difficult to learn the older you get.)

By the end of the book, William knows a lot of French words, but he still had trouble conversing with people when he was traveling around France.

"I realize that there are two kinds of French: there's situational French, the kind taught in all the courses, and then there's everything else. Situational French makes good use of all those little clusters you've learned and you can substitute a word here or there to borrow a pen, try on a hat, or move your table. Yet the French of 'everything else,' the French of normal conversation, requires vocabulary, grammar, and especially, speaking and oral comprehension skills that I've barely scratched the surface of in my hundreds of hours of study."

This memoir was a charming and pleasant read, with the only dark point being that William suffered some heart problems during his project and had to have several surgeries. If anything, the health scare spurred his efforts and he tried even harder to learn French.

"The world has changed greatly since France ruled during the Enlightenment, but one thing hasn't changed: language follows economic power. Thus I may love French, but when I have grandchildren, and they're ready to study a foreign language, I'm going to advise them to learn Mandarin Chinese."

My rating: 3.5 stars rounded up to 4

Favorite Travel Anecdote:
(William and his wife, Anne, are on a bicycle trip in Normandy)

Having lunch outdoors at a small café, I hear a vaguely familiar voice from our French waiter, who speaks English with hardly a trace of a French accent. In fact, his English suggests the eastern United States, where I've lived my entire life. He must have done some immersion study there.

I tell Anne, "I want to speak French the way he speaks English."

He brings us the check. "Your English is perfect," I say. "You've spent some time in the States, no?"

"Actually, I haven't."

"Really? How did you learn such good English?"

"Watching Jerry Seinfeld."
Profile Image for Jennifer.
350 reviews437 followers
February 20, 2017
Ca c'est magnifique!

William Alexander is a Francophile who desperately wants to speak (and understand) the language he loves. In mid-life he tries to achieve this goal -- with hilarious (and humbling) results. In this gem of a livre Alexander chronicles his journey through Rosetta Stone, Fluenz, and various web sites that connect native English speakers with native French speakers. After a year of at-home study, the capstone of Alexander's project is a multi-week French immersion program in France with people from all over the world who are trying to achieve proficieny in the language.

This little memoir is filled with laugh-out-loud moments contrasted with remarkably interesting research about aging, our brains, and just what happens when we learn (or at least try to learn) a second language. In short, I loved it.

4.5 stars
Profile Image for Lolly K Dandeneau.
1,903 reviews248 followers
May 25, 2014
This book was absolutely delightful. Our wonderful author is self-deprecating from the start and I giggled throughout. One would think a book about learning French, or any language, would be a dead bore but not so. I could relate to his foreigner's social flubs having lived overseas myself (most recently Okinawa, Japan ) where I certainly had my share of jackass moments. He also makes good points about assumptions, many false, people have about other countries. I learned several facts I didn't know about French words and their history, and when you can learn while laughing, I say it speaks highly about the author. The whole masculine and feminine confusion is exasperating and primes him for silliness, as do words that are so close together but have vastly opposing meanings. I truly smiled along with his struggles and joys and found myself telling my husband French tidbits (he is French and already knew, of course). The bicycling around France with his beloved wife just reminds anyone who has ever traveled that we romanticize the plan and often things will go wrong, weather will change that sunny dream but somehow even with a hungry belly and no where to eat a better dream will take flight. Often when the plan goes wildly awry we encounter the locals and the true heart of the journey is found. Yes, read it- you don't have to be studying French to enjoy it. Certainly anyone who has ever attempted to learn a foreign language, or just traveled somewhere alien to what they're used to will relate.
Profile Image for Negin.
706 reviews149 followers
April 2, 2017
To me, French is the most beautiful language ever. I often laugh that if someone wants to say that they hate you in French, it sounds ever so romantic and sweet, whereas in some other languages (I can think of two), when they want to say that they love you, it sounds quite the opposite!

Mr. Alexander describes the challenges of becoming fluent in a foreign language in one’s fifties. I can relate to that. Growing up and through most of college, French was a walk in the park for me. It only got a bit tough for me when we started studying French Literature.

I’ve recently started brushing up on it after more than twenty-five years. I’m in my late forties and yes, sadly, I am finding it more and more difficult to retain it the way I used to. It’s really annoying actually, since it was so easy before! Mr. Alexander describes all the things he tries: classes, software, bilingual books, a French pen pal via email, even two weeks at this immersion retreat in Provence:



He not only wants to learn French, he wants to be French. One of my favorite descriptions:

“Sitting at the counter of an astoundingly good restaurant alongside an elderly Frenchman and his white miniature poodle, for whom he has ordered a bifteck, rare. The server, who speaks no English, is practically begging me to order an off-the-menu special, which, as far as I can make out with my mostly forgotten high school French, is either young milk-fed pig or young pig marinated in milk, or both. The server prevails, and it is, as he knew it would be, the best meal I have ever eaten.”

All in all, this was a fun and delightful read. If you’ve studied French or if you’re into French culture, you may like this entertaining memoir. You may also like it if you’re interested in learning languages overall.
Profile Image for John.
2,087 reviews196 followers
February 22, 2015
I don't know how to say this, so I'm going to just come right and get it over with up front: his attempt at learning French seemed fairly dilettante, almost as though it were undertaken for a book proposal (notice I say seemed), and his medical issued came through in the way a hypochondriac might have presented them, not to belittle the fact that his doctor found his old ticker a bit of a mess, but I'm talking about the way in which he presents the issue, and how it struck me. At the very least, that angle detracted from the "French" business. There, my curmudgeon self has spoken.

As for the French itself, I was a bit frustrated that he was having such a tough time with it, positively cringing when near the end his French friend confesses she couldn't understand much of what he was trying to say in that language. His passive command of grammar and vocabulary seemed decent enough, so that it would take a downright execrable accent for that to be the case! His observations on culture and language were well-presented; in spite of seeming like a book proposal fulfillment at times, it is a worthwhile read ... for non-curmudgeons. Disclaimer that I learned French at a younger age (7 - 17), so that I was frustrated by his frustration at times.
Profile Image for Whitney.
57 reviews18 followers
July 9, 2014
Five stars, not only because I felt like I could really relate to the subject matter, but also because as a reader I could see how much time and effort went into this book.

William Alexander did an amazing job of discussing some of the challenges in learning the French language. He tied in relevant information that I didn't even think to look into, from important moments in history to modern scientific data. The best part was the Alexander did it all with a touch of humor. Well, sometimes it was more than just a touch. I found myself laughing out loud during my bus commute on more than one occasion. I readily admit that I have a horrible attention span, and this added humor was what kept me interested in the subject matter. That and the fact that I too wish to *be* French, and it's not for lack of trying.

This book has inspired me to start again on my journey to become a fluent French speaker. I studied for five years in school, but dropped studying almost a decade ago. Perhaps all is not lost! It does feel a bit daunting, and after finishing the book I feel like I went along with Alexander for the entire year of study. But no matter what the outcome, I know there's only up from here.
Profile Image for Sanda.
376 reviews94 followers
October 30, 2014
Learning a new language can be tricky (and funny), especially so if you attempt to do so as an adult. Granted it is easier for some people than for others but different personalities approach the task from their own unique perspectives. William Alexander is very much an adult. One who is in love with all things French and who is determined to conquer both the language, as well as the art of "being" French. His approach to the task at hand is methodical, analytical. So where does he start? With the Association for Applied Linguistics "naturally." His initial findings seem to confirm what many hold to be true: that our ability to learn a new language decreases with age. And William Alexander is 57 years young.

Though passionate about his goal, our author seems to get easily distracted by his curiosity about all elements of studying a new language. So while he struggles with conjugation and adult memory not being what it once was he samples different forms of language study. Short trips to the country itself, the "Bible" of language learning that is Rosetta Stone, conversation groups, immersion courses, french pen pals, you name it William Alexander tries to try them all. In an adorably self-deprecating way he shares with the reader not only his linguistic misadventures but also his insights into French culture, history of the language (French, as well as English at times) and its vocabulary.

I expected to be entertained and amused but I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of learning I experienced while reading this book. Not only is my French vocabulary richer but I learned a lot about linguistics, neural and memory processes involved in learning a language, as well as what it is exactly that the Académie Française does. William (and his French alter ego Guy) present a story of one man's journey into depths of a foreign language but this book ends up being about so much more than just learning French. Is there such a thing as "too late" when it comes to learning a new language? You'll just have to read the book to find out.

I received a copy of this book from librarything>. As those who've read my reviews in the past know, that in no way influences my opinion of the book.

And just so you know what you're in for if you decided to pick up this book (and I hope you do), here's a little passage from it:

"Even at twenty-two I knew better than to ask a Frenchman - especially a French waiter - if he spoke English, which is considered rude and insulting. You should attempt to speak in French, no matter how bad your French might be, and hope you get a reply in English, but in this fancy restaurant, with the stakes high, the prices higher, and the mustachioed waiters straight out of central casting, my nerves got the better of me, and to Judy's alarm and mine alike, I blurted out, "Do you speak English?" The only explanation I have for the reaction that followed was that the poor non-English-speaking fellow must have thought I said, "Do you sodomize your mother?"


641 reviews
May 31, 2015
So the author, William Alexander, sets out to learn French because he is a self-proclaimed "French wannabe." He realizes it is a difficult quest especially since he is in his late 50s and language acquisition at that age is challenging. Some of the information he gives on linguistics is pretty interesting and I was enjoying the book but then it sort of got off track. It became more about him and his health issues than about learning French itself. And if you really are a Francophile (as I am), then don't take cheap shots like this in your book about learning the language, even if it's for the sake of "humor": (in a passage about the synapses in your brain that aid in language learning) "The unused [synapses] [...] start dropping like French soldiers under fire." Le sigh.
And such a basic fact as the famous river that runs through Paris is called "la Seine" shouldn't be written as "le" Seine in a book about French.

So, is it worth reading for people interested in language learning and Francophiles? C'est possible. Would I have enjoyed it more without the exceptionally unfunny jokes like the one I listed and mistakes in French? Absolument.
Profile Image for Girl with her Head in a Book.
635 reviews203 followers
September 1, 2014
I came to Flirting With French with misgivings as the whole 'funny frolics in France' thing has been done and redone repeatedly in both the humour and travel genres. Still, I ended up enjoying this comic memoir, which charts one man's brave attempts to conquer the French language in a year. There was a certain amount of personal recognition for me here; aged twenty I arrived in France for year abroad having studied the language for nine years but realised that although I had the ability to dissect the poetry of Baudelaire, I had no idea how to ask for a haircut. And that was after nine months. Upon arrival, I barely knew how to order an ice cream. Alexander's quest to achieve francophone status is light-hearted and comic but also is a challenge based on his own personal love for France. This book was written with the energy of the true enthusiast which made it a lively and entertaining read.

As a teenager, William Alexander hated studying languages. He hated studying them so much that he picked an ill-advised engineering major at college because it had no language pre-requisite. His volte-face may appear a little bizarre but his amour for French culture has led him to seek true intégration with the French. Despite discouraging words at a conference about the possibility of attaining native fluency in a foreign language in one's fifties, Alexander decides to go full-speed ahead for the next twelve months and truly learn French.

It is a very American approach to language learning; armed with his Rosetta stone and a French penpal who he met over the internet, Bill sets out to immerse himself in as much French as he can find. He makes croissants, talks to his daughter in French and watches French programmes with French subtitles on. The book's subtitle, 'How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me & Nearly Broke My Heart' is highly appropriate as Bill begins to have very serious cardiac issues and when asked if any new stress has arrived in his life, Bill has to confess that he had recently started learning French. The relationship between the two separate issues is left to the reader to judge.

Bill endures various mishaps along the way; as a fellow sufferer, I also understood how disappointing it is to go into a French shop armed with one's preprepared phrases only for the shop assistant to say, "Good morning" in a flawless accent. I really felt for him when he went to visit his French penfriend only to have to spend the whole time talking in English to her fiancé because neither of them could understand his French. As well as working on his own linguistic progress, Bill also muses on the nature of language and indeed of the French people. I was fascinated to discover that the phrase 'cease and desist' comes from the Norman invasion of Britain. The French word was 'cease' and the English word was 'desist' so by putting the two together, authorities could be certain that everybody understood what was meant. There are many fascinating nuggets such as this one.

The French themselves come in for an affectionate ribbing as Bill puzzles over their numerical system (quatre-vingt is more like multiplication than a number, he reasons) and marvels at the Academie Francaise which seeks to protect the French language's linguistic integrity. He also includes a 'helpful flow-chart to identify when it is and is not appropriate to use the 'tu' form in conversation, this did make me laugh. William Alexander is not the first writer to poke fun at the French (David Sedaris' excellent Me Talk Pretty One Day springs to mind) and indeed he quotes many other authors in the epigraphs to each chapter but his own bright determination that he will learn French give his writing its own charm and wisdom.

Still, although Bill does not achieve the level of fluency he has been craving in twelve months (for me, it's been sixteen years and counting), he has clearly benefited so much from the whole experience. The book is dedicated to 'Guy', the name Bill gave himself as part of his French persona (the French equivalent of William is Guillaume and the shortened version of that is Guy) and we have sense that the author has really embraced another side of his own personality. The memoir does not end on a defeatist and his final words are a battle-cry of hope for all his fellow-language students of the world. Ensemble, maintenant - Courage!

For my full review:
http://girlwithherheadinabook.blogspo...
207 reviews
August 21, 2014
When I departed for Nancy, France, for the first semester of my junior year abroad, I was confident. French had always come very easily to me (in my French classes in the States). I couldn’t speak fluently, but I thought I was pretty good.

As it turns out, I was wrong. Very wrong. On the first day with my host family, my amazing and wonderful host mother, Marie-Françoise, picked me up to drive me to my new home. During the drive, she chatted and chatted and chatted . . . while I just sat there, dumbstruck. She asked questions that I struggled to understand and to which I certainly wasn’t able to respond. Finally, she looked at me and said, “Christi, tu comprends pas français?” (Christi, don’t you understand French?). I immediately realized that, despite my years and years of French classes, no, I decidedly did not.

Here’s the thing: French classes in the United States are largely useless. Yes, you learn basic vocabulary and verb conjugations. But you don’t learn how people actually talk. Nor have you been prepared to understand French when spoken at a very high rate of speed (with every word gliding smoothly into the next, until they all become an indistinguishable mess).

Luckily, I had an amazing host family. They were seasoned pros by the time I got there, having hosted several foreign students before me. They knew that the only way I was going to learn was if I was forced to listen to and speak only French (I assumed they didn’t know any English at all until my family came to visit and I found out my host mom actually spoke fairly proficient English. I’d been duped! Thankfully). It was a ridiculous crash course and, for the first month or so, I went to bed every night absolutely exhausted from listening to and attempting to absorb the language.

I love French. But learning French was HARD. There are a bunch of weird things that come naturally to people who learn French as a first language—things like whether nouns are masculine or feminine or whether an H is aspirated–that frequently trip up non-native speakers. And there are tons of ways (in addition to the couple I highlighted above) in which real, spoken French is different from the French you learn in school in the US. These are the kinds of struggles and frustrations that William Alexander highlights in a very funny, relatable way in his soon-to-be-released book, Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me, and Nearly Broke My Heart.

Alexander is a fifty-eight-year-old Francophile, who decided that, despite his age (and the fact that “not only does the ability to acquire a second language become greatly diminished after adolescence, but the degradation continues linearly” and studies show that “the dimmest child will become far more proficient in his first language than the smartest adult in his second”), he would spend a year attempting to learn French. In an effort to reach his French-speaking goal, he tried language programs like Rosetta Stone and Fluenz, went to French speaking Meetups, traveled to France multiple times, enlisted the aid of French-speaking conversation partners on mylanguageexchange.com, listened to French radio and watched French TV programs and movies, read French books (with English translations on the facing page), took French classes in the US, and finally spent two weeks at a language-immersion school in France. Throughout the whole process, he documented his failures and successes in this book.

Flirting with French has a highly specific audience. If you’re not a French speaker, have never wanted to be a French speaker, and don’t care at all about French or France, then this is decidedly not a book for you. (In fact, if I were in that boat, I would probably give it a 2/5.)

On the flip side, if you are a second-language French speaker or have ever studied French, then this book is very readable (I breezed through it in a couple hours), extremely relatable, engaging, and fun. It will, without question, remind you of your own experience studying/learning French.

There are interesting bits about language learning in the US (and very familiar anecdotes, like this one: “I have a friend—a very sharp guy—who studied French from the fourth grade through his sophomore year in college. Eleven years of French. And he goes to Paris and finds out he can’t speak or even understand French. And this is not an uncommon story.”). There are fun lists of French idioms and their English counterparts. There are interesting and random observations about the similarities and differences between French and English (“In America we eat beef, never cows. In France both the meat and the steer are called boeuf.”). There are many stories about the frustrations of learning French, especially common hang-ups, like gender: “There is no logic to the assignment of gender in French. . . . I have been laboring for the longest time under the common misconception that there was a rhyme and reason to gender assignment, that the object itself held the key to its gender, that the girly things were feminine and manly things masculine.” But, he points out, a woman’s breast is masculine (un sein), whereas a man’s beard is feminine (une barbe).

This book brought back a lot of memories for me, made me want to brush up on my French (it’s been a loooooong time since I lived in a French-speaking country, and French is a lot easier to forget than it is to learn!), and made me want to plan a jaunt to Paris.

Who should read it? For those of you who can count backwards from vingt to un with ease, know how to pronounce les héros, and can explain the difference between oui and si, then this is a good book for you. It’s a good reminder of why it’s such a great accomplishment to learn the language.
Profile Image for theirishbooklover.
263 reviews10 followers
January 27, 2021
Inspiring, Educational, Interesting.
I purchased this book in Paris, which I think added a little bit more inspiration to the book when I read it. As someone who has studied French, I feel I learned more from this book than I have done study on my own which makes this a very informative and educational book. I loved the story woven intricately throughout the authors studying. In a time when travel is restricted this novel brought me to America and France without ever leaving my house. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys languages, traveling or just wants an escape. It is thoroughly enjoyable and fascinating.
Profile Image for Gary Anderson.
Author 0 books94 followers
Read
December 10, 2023
Learning French through Duolingo was a self-inflicted learning project for me that started when I needed something to do during the pandemic. After almost four years, I’m humbled by how much I still don’t know, so I found a kindred spirit in William Alexander’s Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me & Nearly Broke My Heart. This is a fun exploration of a fifty-eight year-old’s journey to become fluent in French. (I have no such goal. I just want to be able to have polite, rudimentary conversations when I’m in a French-speaking country.) I laughed on the first page and many other times throughout the book, and I also learned a fair amount about the science of second-language acquisition. The most enjoyable parts are the episodes featuring Alexander’s flustered frustrations with the language, and his depictions of those on the receiving end of his attempts.
Profile Image for Stewart.
319 reviews16 followers
October 20, 2014
“Flirting With French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me & Nearly Broke My Heart” is the story of author William Alexander’s struggle to learn French. He and his wife wanted to bicycle through Normandy, and in advance of that visit he spent more than a year trying to master the French language.
In 13 months, he completed five levels of Rosetta Stone, studied Fluenz French, saw 100 podcasts of Coffee Break French, listened to two Pimsleur audio courses, watched the 52-episode PBS series “French in Action,” took a weekend immersion class, did social networking with French speakers, saw a Sartre play in French, read a dual language book, and spent two weeks at a highly recommended language school in France.
The fact that one-quarter to one-third of all English words come from French should make learning this language easier for an English-speaker than most other languages. Think of food words alone: culinary, cuisine, menu, salad, dessert, entree, hors d’oeuvres, mayonnaise, beef, pork, poultry, croissant, and casserole, to name a few, all from French.
But Alexander makes the point that learning any second language as an adult, even if that language shares words and has the same alphabet as the first language, is difficult.
“Like Clouseau, my greatest challenge is the French ‘r.’” – the so-called rolled “r.” If pronunciation and grammatical gender are problems for Alexander, he said retaining and recalling vocabulary was the toughest.
“The most difficult part of French so far is remembering the new words. This is frustrating, especially considering that the typical child entering kindergarten has a vocabulary of fourteen thousand words. To put that in perspective, a child is learning a new word every two hours of every waking moment. Without trying.”
“For infants, language comes effortlessly. It is a skill that virtually every child, regardless of his or her intelligence, masters by the age of three or four. … Yet for adults, learning a new language is work, hard work, and we fail more often than we succeed.”
Experts the author talked to theorized that there is a “window” of opportunity to becoming expert at reading, writing, speaking, and hearing another language: from late infancy to ages 6-12. Thus, trying to learn a second language in high school or college will have limited success – and it’s even harder as a person ages.
For adults, learning a second language means pushing against the habits of the first language. “[Y]ou process your second language through the ears of your first. And the longer you’ve spoken your first language – meaning, the older you are – the more entrenched you’ve become in it and the harder it is to break free, whether we’re talking about hearing the foreign language’s phonemes or applying the rules of syntax.”
In the course of the book, Alexander examines other languages besides French and English (including Chinese), the role of memory in language acquisition, the limitations of computer translation devices, and the new statistically based technology of Google Translate, which can with fairly good success translate 80 languages (including the “dead” language Latin) into any of the others.
This 2014 book will interest international travelers or anyone who has tried (and succeeded or failed) to learn another language, whether in high school, college, or later in life. For the record, I studied Latin two years in high school, moved to a new state and, because of non-compatible school curricula, never took another language in my new high school. I studied Russian for two years in college. There, my pronunciation was so bad (those unattainable rolling r’s, that guttural “x” sound) that my professor accused me of speaking Polish.
The book mixes the latest research from linguistics, memory studies, psychology, neuroscience, and infancy studies with interviews with experts on language and second-language acquisition. The major plus is that the book isn’t a dry tome on language theory but the everyday down-to-earth adventure of someone trying to acquire a second language. By the way, “tome,” “language,” “adventure,” “acquire,” and “second” came into English from French.
Besides, this book is quite funny.
Profile Image for Jill.
2,218 reviews93 followers
March 28, 2017
This is a delightful memoir of the author’s travails trying to learn French. In the process, he discusses a number of fascinating studies about the ability to learn languages, and the reason why it is so much harder for those who are past adolescence (the author embarks on his quest at age 57).

He begins with a very brief and entertaining history of language, and then provides more detailed information about French in particular. He observes that it is the official language of twenty-nine countries and is spoken by some 175 million people. He also explains why it is so difficult for non-speakers to pronounce.

One of the parts of the book I found most interesting was the section on translation, and why it has proven to be so hard for computers to get it right. The author tells a great story about IBM. For its work on a translation algorithm, it obtained the transcripts of the Canadian Parliament proceedings, which by law must be recorded in both English and French. This gave the computer program some three million matching English-French sentence pairs. Nevertheless, the computer came up with some bizarre output based on the material, such as translating the English word “hear” into the French word “bravo.” It turns out that in the Parliament, whenever members approve of what a speaker says, the English speakers shout “Hear, hear!” while the French speakers shout “Bravo!” But there are much more subtle ways to confuse a translation program. Idiomatic phrases don't translate well, nor do words with double meanings. Think about this sentence for example, the author suggests: “Fruit flies like spoiled peaches.”

Evaluation: While I’ve concentrated on the informational content of the book rather than the author’s personal experiences, most of it reads like a stand-up comedian’s act. It is often hilarious, and at all times interesting. [Many of you may be familiar with this author from his first book, The $64 Tomato, chronicled his misadventures as an amateur gardener.] Bottom line: Très charmant!
Profile Image for Furrawn.
636 reviews55 followers
April 18, 2022
Five stars of course. I really love how this guy thinks and writes. He’s forthright and hilarious.

He clearly loves France as much as I do. Honestly, it sounds like his French improved quite a bit. The problem is his accent.

Bill, if you happen to see this review, try a different tack. Listen to the MUSIC of spoken French. Have a French friend speak to you in English. The music (I’ve always thought of it as music-I’m not sure what the real word for it is- or if there even is a real word for it) of French will still be in the English the French person speaks. It’s more than intonation or accent or any of that. Listen for the music. Practice the music in English until you get it. Then, try it in French.

I don’t do that. I do speak a language according to the music I hear the native speakers use. One of my best friends is from the south of France. She heard my accent and proclaimed it Paris and very snobby. I was delighted since it was a real accent. LOL

Anyway, if you are a Francophile, French, or just a breathing human, you will laugh yourself silly reading this book.

❤️
Profile Image for Angie Boyter.
2,115 reviews75 followers
November 27, 2022
I picked this book because I did not want to read a really rather mindless book right now, like a cozy mystery or military SF, even though I enjoy such entertainment, but I did not want to have to think too hard either. Flirting with French more than met my desires!
It is a delightful blend of the author's quest to learn to speak French like a Frenchman with interesting information about languages and language learning in general and a bit of a memoir, including his experience with life-threatening cardiac problems.
The style is delightful, with lots of humor. I think I would like to know William Alexander.
NOTE: I think to enjoy this book fully you should know some French, just a few years in high school or a couple of semesters in college.
To my friend Mike Brewer, who recommended it, merci beaucoup!
Profile Image for Mo.
1,774 reviews179 followers
August 14, 2015
2 1/2 stars

I'm sorry, but not even William Alexander can make conjugating French verbs anything other than DULL. I enjoyed some parts of the story, but there was way too much detailed information about the French language for me to get into this book.

I took 3 years of high school French (je comprends un peu le francais), and at times I was completely lost. I pity anyone trying to read this book with NO knowledge of French whatsoever.

My best advise would be to skim, skim, SKIM while reading. I wish I had taken my own advise!
Profile Image for Debra Schoenberger.
Author 8 books82 followers
August 5, 2015
A Frenchman wannabe explores the different ways of learning and retaining French as a second language. Educational, hysterically funny and loads of fun! I speak French and actually learned quite a few new expressions! Enjoy!
Profile Image for Meg.
1,347 reviews16 followers
Read
January 20, 2020
Mildly interesting, fast read. Very US/anglo male -> France French perspective. Wish I could have heard more about his doctor wife who learned Spanish perspective?
Profile Image for Katharine Ott.
1,888 reviews35 followers
February 23, 2019
"Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me, and Nearly Broke My Heart" - written by William Alexander and published in 2014 by Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill. This book was a lot of fun and close to my heart, having taken high school and college French and recently listened to a bunch of the Coffee Break podcasts which Alexander references. He calls out this barrier to speaking the language which could be higher on the failure list than one might think - "The real problem...is that the phonemes of French, with its rolled r's and nasal intonations, sound so silly to us that when we pronounce them properly we feel like we're doing an Inspector Clouseau parody..." Alexander details the funny and frustrating ways he tries to learn French, several times traveling to Paris. Along with this are descriptions of his heart troubles - he hopes to convince his doctor that learning French might be too stressful, but fails. I appreciated the humor holding everything together, the discussions of memory palaces which I keep encountering in books, and especially the flow chart he creates to show whether to use a formal or casual form of conversation, vous versus tu. [See http://williamalexander.com/images/Gu...] Alexander leaves us with a positive impression of his experiences, more related to harnessing the energy of his brain than to learning French. He says, "Having to solve a Rubik's Cube of conjugation, gender, and word order before you open your mouth presents quite a barrier to fluid conversation." And I have to share a chapter-heading quote from Mark Twain, "The French...always tangle up everything to that degree that when you start into a sentence you never know whether you are going to come out alive or not." The book was tres amusant!
Profile Image for Diana.
534 reviews39 followers
March 30, 2024
I absolutely loved this book. It goes through the author’s 12 months plus of learning French through Rosetta Stone ( a little dated but using Duolingo I could relate), through emails with a French native speaker, through conversation classes and finally through immersion in France. There was bits of history, the science of language learning, cooking, travel and personal anecdotes. I was a bit disappointed because it sounded like William was not going to persist with learning French at the end of the book. He did have some serious health issues but overall his learning showed significant brain function improvements after MRIs at the start and end of his language learning journey. Personally I see my process of learning as never ending. I may never be able to speak like a native speaker but this book and a friend who is learning French at U3A have given me more resources to expand my capacity to learn French.
I guess I did enjoy that despite feeling defeated by his experience learning French, William remains a dedicated Francophile as I am.
Vive la republique!
Profile Image for Kathleen.
67 reviews7 followers
October 14, 2020
I found this book by accident while browsing my library’s selection of kid’s books/textbooks in French and I’m so glad I did! Such a fun and funny read—it felt like I was having a conversation with a friend the whole time. He really captured the humbling experience of learning a new language and how beneficial it is for your brain (and life) in a multitude of ways. One of my favorites this year, and I’ll be checking out his other books as well!
Profile Image for Kevin Buckley.
260 reviews2 followers
February 10, 2024
Eh

comme si comme sa

As a self admitted Francophile, I always find some elements of these books entertaining.

But I suppose an author breathing life into my own passions and memories is not always a tribute to the story.

In the end, this story of the author desperately trying to learn and master French at the advanced (???!!!) age of 57 (or somewhere in his 50’s) just can’t decide if it wants to teach you about the nature and development of languages, his scary health challenges, or try to get you to laugh.

Flirting with French flirted with being a decent read, but in the end there wasn’t enough love…
Profile Image for Leah.
560 reviews5 followers
May 14, 2018
Charming, witty, and fun to read! This book is more than just a memoir of one man's journey to learn French (and heal his breaking heart--literally). It also functions as a big dose of encouragement for anyone trying to "push back" against difficult odds in the name of learning, love, or, as in the case of French, both. I loved it!
Profile Image for Dnim.
51 reviews
May 25, 2020
Laughed a lot! In this book the author recounts his journey, and numerous struggles, on trying to learn the French language. It is filled with French language history, cognitive scientific statements, a bit of French culture description and lots of funny jokes. It is a light hearted, positive memoir, and will specially ressonate with French language learners.
Profile Image for Bob.
16 reviews1 follower
August 2, 2017
As my French teacher says, "You may not learn French but trying is so good for you!" This "Guy" once again muddles through something I have personally failed at, the other being bread-making. Courage, William Alexander!
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
451 reviews5 followers
October 3, 2017
I loved this book in so many ways. It's informative and funny, clever and yet never pretentious.
Profile Image for Elisabeth Ensor.
740 reviews29 followers
May 7, 2021
What an adorable book! I love this authors writing style and if you love anything French you will love this book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 277 reviews

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