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"BELLA?"
Edward's soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again.
This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine - like he was afraid we had only so much time left to us.


As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

READERS CAPTIVATED BY Twilight AND New Moon will eagerly devour Eclipse, the much-anticipated third book in Stephenie Meyer's riveting vampire love saga.

629 pages, Hardcover

First published August 7, 2007

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About the author

Stephenie Meyer

95 books77k followers
Stephenie Meyer is the author of the bestselling Twilight series, The Host, and The Chemist. Twilight was one of 2005's most talked about novels and within weeks of its release the book debuted at #5 on The New York Times bestseller list. Among its many accolades, Twilight was named an "ALA Top Ten Books for Young Adults," an Amazon.com "Best Book of the Decade So Far," and a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year.

Meyer graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English Literature. She lives in Arizona with her husband and three sons.

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5 stars
640,885 (34%)
4 stars
500,737 (26%)
3 stars
428,455 (22%)
2 stars
185,827 (9%)
1 star
115,046 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46,699 reviews
Profile Image for emma.
2,282 reviews75.8k followers
December 1, 2023
It’s always Team Edward this and Team Jacob that, but there’s only one real team when it comes to reading the Twilight series. And that’s Team Suffering.

Honorable mention to Team Alice.

The only character I respect.

Everyone else is a nightmare gremlin demon, and also somehow the plot isn’t even fun, and also this book is no joke like 1,200 pages long. I’m pretty sure. Don’t fact check me.

You really have to wonder why we all stanned these books so hard in middle school. Were we depraved? What was wrong? Did we just need a juice box and a firm hug?

I don’t know, but it’s upsetting.

These books really do surprise you with their sheer ability to find new ways to be terrible. If in 50 years a CIA report is declassified outlining the use of this series as a torture mechanism for feminist women who would one day be forced to confront the ways their middle school favorite series traumatized them I wouldn’t be surprised.

In fact, that’s a more likely explanation than everyone spontaneously being horrible.

Like, Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and tries to manipulate her continuously. Charlie cheers him on for a taking-what’s-his mentality even though it’s HIS OWN KID. Edward kidnaps her when she doesn’t do what he tells her to do.

This sh*t is exhausting. WHY IS EVERYONE THE WORST.

But Bella is boring as hell so I don’t feel that bad for her. Honestly she needed some excitement forcibly injected into her life.

But there isn’t actually any excitement because HOWISTHISSOBORING. The plot doesn’t start until 55% and even then the action is nowhere close to arriving. The whole action sequence is probably about 0.43% of the page count. And for what, you might ask?

Easy. To make more time to talk about how important it is to wait until marriage before you get it on.

I mean, vampires who kill for pleasure, that’s all well and good, but personally I draw the line at premarital f*cking.

Edward literally looks Bella in the eyes and goes “your virtue :) I have to protect it :) everyone knows if you f*ck outside the bounds of holy matrimony you get locked out of heaven :)” and Bella’s just like no yeah sound logic that tracks goodnight!!!

It’s fun foreshadowing for how hard this poor girl has to work to get her husband to give it to her in the next book. I cannot emphasize enough the extent to which I would burn everything to the ground in her shoes.

One cool thing about this book is that if you were worried about the weird comparing-the-adult-you-love-to-a-child motif being over since Bella and Edward are firmly in <3 now...you don’t have to be!

We get everything we need in Rosalie’s tragic backstory, during which she tells us that she’s sexually and romantically interested in Emmett because he reminds her of her friend’s baby.

This series really stays giving us everything.

Including basic errors and overdramatic writing techniques all in one, like when on one page Jacob says “what’s it like having a werewolf for a best friend?” and on the next page there’s a big dramatic moment where he can’t say the word werewolf…

Basically what I’m trying to tell you is that this book sucks.

Bottom line: See above.

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pre-review

this book is 629 pages long, and i felt every single one of them.

review to come / 1 star?

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currently-reading updates

amazing that stephenie meyer wrote a romance about murderous vampires and moral priority #1 is No Sex Before Marriage

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edward: bella is so hot :) she's a child, but in a hot way :)

rosalie: wow look at that guy getting eaten by a bear :) he looks like my best friend's baby :) and that's sexy to me :)

me:

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tbr review

only one love triangle in literary history deserves rights
Profile Image for James.
Author 6 books522 followers
February 14, 2014
"You gave it three stars?" she asked me, biting her lip and holding her breath.

"Yes," I finally answered with my marble lips, cold yet strangely comforting, even warm. "Stephenie, don't forget to breathe."

"Oh, of course." A storm seemed to rage in her for just a moment.

"I gave it a three. It's good." I would never lie to her, could never lie to her. Yet, somehow, she felt it was a lie and brooded in stillness for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.

Finally, I broke the aching silence. "I gave it a three because the vampire lore was that good -- the extended plotline and the setup for a decent fourth novel were all enjoyable." There, I said it. Would it be enough for her? No, it would never be enough.

"But you absolutely hated the tent scene with the [spoiler removed:], and you wanted to send Bella straight to vampire hell for her self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-obsessed self-ness by the end."

We paused and I noticed sobs erupting from deep inside her.

"Stephenie, breathe, and stop biting your lip, it's getting really annoying. Quit with the crying already. Yes, all of those things are true, and if I could release myself from your books, I would. But-"

"But?" she asked longlingly, her fingers caressing my face while my fingers caressed her face and somebody else's fingers were somehow caressing both our faces because you can never have too much face-caressing going on -- whose fingers are those, anyway?

"But despite how much I hate Bella by now, I really want to find out more about the Volturi and the process of becoming a vampire and whether Bella is somehow part of an ancient bloodline that stirs up all the vampires and werewolves whenever she's around. That's why I gave it three stars, and that's why-" I gasped, she gasped, we both forgot to breathe and bit our lips, "-why I will be reading the fourth book as soon as it is out."

Finally, I remembered to breathe and stopped caressing her face, looked into her eyes and with my godlike, cool, marble lips, asked, "Satisfied?"

Smiling, she answered, "Yes, very."

____________

Notes from James: If you like this one, you will probably also get a kick out of my original review of Book 1. Enjoy!
Profile Image for Miranda Reads.
1,589 reviews163k followers
December 10, 2020
description

Ohhh yeah, I made a BookTube Video all about my scandalously unpopular twilight opinions (check out the video to see it...if you dare.)
Anyway, onwards to the review!
description

Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. Will you marry me?
I can feel my teenage heart quivering
I'm gonna fight for you, until your heart stops beating.
That heart just exploded

Whewwwww. Ten years ago, I would've fought anyone who challenged Edward and Bella's love. Nowadays? Not quite as fervently, but I will still go head-to-head on this one.

In case you've been under a rock for the last decade, Edward (the sparkling vamp) loves Bella (the clumsy human) who loves Jacob (the hot-headed werewolf) but ONLY AS A FRIEND (ha!). Annnd that's pretty much it.

There's some background stuff - evil vampire assembling an army to wipe out Bella, Bella accidentally breaking her bones, the Volturi threatening to kill Bella if she isn't turned into a vampire, yada yada...but MORE IMPORTANTLY she has to finally choose - once and for all.
description
Let's examine the evidence:
description
Okay, okay. Joking aside...Let's just say, reading this as an adult has shifted my perspective (slightly). I was totally oblivious to things that are glaringly obvious. Chock it up to being a YA while reading YA lit.

Yes, their love is frighteningly codependent - especially taking Edward's age into considerations. Isn't the rule half your age plus seven?

And yes, the love triangle is so incredibly over-the-top - you have on one side a normal teenage boy and on the other...A psychotically obsessed ex-murdering stalker.

Annnnd yes, Bella is a bit of a limp noodle when it comes to heroism and her clumsiness is so extreme that she needs to get her head checked. Honestly, Victoria should've just scattered a bag of marbles in Bella's bedroom and waited for the human to trip and die.

But, hats off to nostalgia because I still had fun reading this one. I'm no longer super obsessed teen but I still adore this series.

P.s. Anyone else seen the Hillywood Eclipse Parody? Freaking love it.
description


The 2018 PopSugar Reading Challenge - A book set in the decade you were born

Audiobook Comments
The reader (Ilyana Kadushin) was alright. Not the best, not the worst.


YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads
Profile Image for Melissa.
809 reviews
September 15, 2007
My notes to characters in Eclipse:

Bella: I'm so done with you. You're a self-absorbed little snot. You're not a strong modern woman because you don't want to be a teen bride, and you're not cute because you fall down a lot.

Alice: You're so not cute either.

Jacob: What you did is called "date rape," buckaroo. And to think I liked you best until the middle of this book!

Edward: Checking the brood-o-meter... yep, you're still no David Boreanaz.

Leah (the one lady-wolf): I don't understand why you're getting the short end of the stick just because you had your heart broken... everyone seemed to cut Bella enough slack in the last book for a lot less. Sucks to be a supporting female character in these books, huh?

Note to Stephenie Meyer: Even you must think the Wuthering Heights references are a little over the top, right? Oh, and all your acknowledgements? Well, you're not cute too.
Profile Image for SK.
487 reviews8,295 followers
March 17, 2023
"I promise to love you forever- every single day of forever."

~•~•~

There are only two teams really - Team Edward and Team Insane 👀
(Sorry, got a little carried away)

Basically, this book is just me and Bella simping over Edward✨🥺❤️
9 reviews4 followers
October 15, 2007
I had expectations for this book, but I found it to be a terrible disappointment. Where to begin with?

First of all, I have lost most of the respect I had for Bella as a character. Her obsession for Edward has really gone overboard, to the point of becoming downright annoying, even unhealthy. She worships the ground he walks on, and is all too ready to dump her parents and friends just so she can spend more time with him without growing old. She doesn't seem to have any serious problem with the idea of making her parents worry, or the thought of never see them again... she's willing to stomp over anything that isn't Edward, even things that can enrich her life. She's like a satellite, her boring life revolving solely around him. She has no self-worth, and spends a good deal of the book whining, complaining and sighing, I really wanted to shake her hard at times and tell her to GET A LIFE.

I also find it deeply disturbing that Bella is not more repulsed by the idea of blood lust. How could she accept the thought that she will want to kill people (even her family) so easily, just because of him?

Second, Edward has gone from charming to BORING. There is such a thing as being too perfect (read: dull), and Edward fits the mold perfectly. His character is so flat, and how many times can we hear Bella and Edward exchange their love for one another before becoming bored? I mean honestly, how perfect can he be before it simply becomes ridiculous? Most of the book is spent on the two of them fawning over each other and Bella saying over and over and over again how sexy and good-looking he is. Writing tip for the author: You don't need to tell us countless times that your character is wonderful. Actions speak for themselves. Jane Austen didn't need to remind us several times that Mr. Darcy was perfect... he simply was.

Third... Jacob. He's the reason I gave this book 2 stars. He was the most compelling character in the book. He wasn't perfect, but he was fun, honest, and very human, making big mistakes, but always trying to do his best... he was impossible not to love. He was real, not a perfect pretty doll with no flaws. Sadly, he was mostly wasted.

I also the think the magic Twilight had dissapeared. I liked the books because the author made the whole vampire/werewolf thing so credible, but now, with armies of vampires raging through Washington, credibility has gone out the window. Also the whole book was focused on on a love triangle that everybody knew how it would end, and it made everything very predictable. And how come nobody saw that Victoria was behind the killings, when it was so darn obvious even to the casual reader? Were they stupid? Overall, a great disappointment, I'm not sure if I'll read the next book in the series. Why bother?
Profile Image for Nicole.
698 reviews15.9k followers
October 28, 2022
Nie popuszczę w ocenie tego tomu.
Nigdy w życiu nie czytałam żadnej książki z tak szeroką reprezentacją toksycznych relacji. Nawet „too late” Hoover pod pewnymi względami miało więcej sensu.
Absurd goni absurd. (Spoiler: Bella chce zostać WAMPIREM, ale już na ślub się nie chce zgodzić, bo nie)
Profile Image for karen.
4,006 reviews172k followers
June 21, 2018
snif. my link is worthless now.

this is the virgin daiquiri version of wuthering heights, all watered down, plopped in a blender, and sitting at the folding card table with the kiddies.and they are all gulping it down without knowing that the real deal is way more fun.

elizabeth has probably written the best review this book could ever get, with much wittier analogies, so go read that, then come back here for some less-articulate complaints.

i messed up. i thought i would have a nice vacation, where i would have plenty of time and concentration to lounge over our mutual friend. instead, there was drinking, and some self-pity, and vacation-langour, and i just couldn't give dickens the attention he deserves. you know who really doesn't deserve my complete attention? stephenie meyer.

and why is that? because she has grievously misinterpreted one of my favorite books and has created this sort of chimera byproduct that you can see some of the source material in if you squint, but it's mostly just wrong.

i mean, at this point in everyone's lives, the world doesn't need another eclipse review, right? so i am mostly going to just bitch about why this book misrepresents wuthering heights and why that makes me cranky.

i suppose it is ambitious of her to have attempted to pepper her vampire romance novels with elements of better works of literature like, say, shakespeare and jane austen. she made the decision to try to shoehorn these characters into the mold of another book, and just didn't bother trying to fix the parts that overflowed or got stuck together.

but you can't get mad at a puppy for pissing on the rug.

and i knew what i was getting into.

before i started reading this, i was aware that this was the wuthering heights installment of the series, so i was obligated to read it on those grounds alone, as i will read any retelling of w.h., for better or for worse. usually worse.

and elizabeth had warned me and warned me that meyer got w.h. all wrong and had reversed the roles of heathcliff and linton in a most embarrassing way, but at first, i saw no problems. bella was obviously catherine, edward was heathcliff the true love and jacob was linton,the more "appropriate" choice, right? done and done. i kept reading, shocked, thinking, "but elizabeth is never wrong! what gives??"

is she only basing this on appearance? on the superficial? edward is fair and wealthy and very understanding of bella's other ties - like linton (maybe not "understanding" in linton's case, but "ineffectual") and jacob is definitely darker-complected, like heathcliff, and tied to nature and the earth. but that shouldn't change the basic differences.

because obviously edward is the sun to bella's flower face. she cannot be without him - even an afternoon spent apart is unendurable and the intensity of their love is undeniable and unbreakable and blah and blah. jacob is her father's choice for her, which makes him linton, who is technically a better choice because there is less self-destructive passion, and choosing him allows her to remain, you know, alive.

but let's back up.

because wuthering heights was never a choice between two suitable men. it was a choice between passion and security. head and heart. and linton was never an alternative to heathcliff, catherine always just wanted it all. it was never about love, not with linton.he was simply the path of least resistance, and a means to an end. securing him meant securing a place for heathcliff, whom she could never marry. but who needs marriage when your husband is much weaker than your lover?

so, in a more modern version of the story,it makes sense to do away with the financial angle, especially with characters this young. the conflict here is between soul and body. all bella has to do is choose humanity or immortality.easy-peasy. so the reversal of edward and jacob's fortunes didn't cause me too much grief, and still maintains the distinction between edward/heathcliff and jacob/linton. the root of the conflict is the same: to go with an all-consuming passion that "eclipses" one's own self and is potentially dangerous (for so so many reasons here) or to go with the one who feels more like "family," who has the paternal approval, who will allow her to remain a living breathing human and retain her entire life...except her passion.

fine. this still parallels w.h.

and the more specific details: heathcliff goes away while catherine recovers at the linton's. and then he goes on that much longer absence, plunging her into despair. so far, so good. edward leaves bella in new moon and jacob steps in to be there for her and heals her and manages to stick a little bit of him in the space edward's leaving left.

but then it gets messy and too many of heathcliff's characteristics start leaking into jacob. because jacob is kind of a dick. forcing kisses, always smirking and pushing his boundaries.he takes much more delight in troublemaking and hurting his rival, and occasionally hurts bella,too. jacob is warm and furious and tied to the forest the way heathcliff is tied to the moors.

it is jacob who is the earthbound heathcliff she can remain a grubby child with. meyer rightly recognizes edward as the other half of bella's soul, but extracts all the physical, earthly passion from that role and gives it to jacob.edward protects her like a fine crystal object while his sister dresses her like a doll. what does this sound like?? linton linton linton!

bella as catherine is obviously the weakest here. she is nothing like catherine. she moans about not being good enough for edward. catherine was never "good" enough for linton, but did that stop her? she barreled in and took what she wanted and refused to leave. bella fusses over everyone and just wants everyone to be happy and self-sacrifices all over the place. i understand that bella's character has already been established in other books, but how can she compare herself to catherine with a straight face?? catherine is a goddamn honey badger. bella is a mother hen.

her relationship with edward certainly has elements that are unappealing - who wants to be watched and protected that closely all the time?, but at least i believed in their feelings because they are always reminding me and shoving my face in it.

jacob forces himself on her, laughs at her human weakness when she fights back, and tries to separate her from her happiness at every turn. it is both arrogant and insecure, but this is still somehow, but the one who is most "like family" who bella's dad wants her to be with. (do NOT get me started on "parental roles in the twilight saga.")(but quickly: our girl walks through the door from her vacation and already is making dinner for her father who supports some shirtless douchebag's forced kisses, but hates the rich boy who really wants to marry his daughter and preserve her virginity.) but this is another reversal to w.h., too since heathcliff was at least raised as family, even if you don't interpret heathcliff as mr. earnshaw's bastad son. which is not a belief i personally subscribe to, but it is out there.

edward is patient and forgiving and gentle and willing to give bella the space she needs before making her decision before she is even aware there is a decision to make.come on - that can't be right!

heathcliff doesn't share. he can tolerate linton because he is weak and catherine would not have him harmed, but this vampire zen shit has no place in a heathcliff character, and isn't even a linton quality. that element is pure meyer.

in wuthering heights, everyone behaves poorly.in this one, it is really just jacob as linton, i mean heathcliff, i mean jacob.

nonsense.

apart from any messing-with-the-heights stumbles, this also maintains all the lazy writing and comical details meyer interprets as passion: all the tooth grinding and clenching and chuckling and things said under the breath.oh, and snorting. why does everyone snort? and borrowing lines from wuthering heights to help bolster your characters is like posing next to the chubby girl in photographs to look slimmer. we see your borrowed finery.

and the love triangle thing is pretty forced. bella herself doesn't even realize until the end that she is even in a love triangle, so how are we supposed to? honestly, i am aware that there is such a thing as "team jacob" because i am a citizen of the world, but god - what's the appeal in some pushy dude who won't take "no" for an answer??

and why do i excuse heathcliff all his sins? is it because the writing is better? is it because i believe in his love in a way i do not believe in bella? because when i think of heathcliff i feel a physical reaction in my heart. when i think of jacob, i roll my eyes.

i actually liked twilight, despite its flaws. new moon was boring and repetitive. this one was irritating because of how much i looove w.h.

there is no evil in this book - no revenge. the stakes are too low in the triangle.i picture the three of them at a bar:

oh, i made sure jacob would overhear my conversation with bella about our upcoming nuptials. snort chuckle. eeeevil! oh, i knew edward could read my mind so i thought about how sad bella was when he went away. clenched teeth, snort,eeeevil! oh, i married her husband's sister, alternately beating and ignoring her, raised my enemy's son to be an illiterate brute, and ruined everyone's lives while i mourned my one true love. (crickets... the sound of edward and jacob pissing themselves)

here is some exciting eclipse information for this year:

http://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse....

and get on that venus one, because you're not gonna get another chance unless you are team edward.

and because this still makes me laugh:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f03d...

i think i have probably made a point or two in that rant somewhere. i wasn't enraged, overall, not really, but it was a pretty bloated book and i really don't get all the love for this series...

oh, and a gross dedication:

to my husband pancho for your patience, love, friendship, humor, and willingness to eat out.

TMI, stephenie meyer, TMI ...

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Ahmad Sharabiani.
9,563 reviews437 followers
December 1, 2021
Eclipse (Twilight #3), Stephenie Meyer

Eclipse is the third novel in the Twilight Saga by American novelist Stephenie Meyer.

Bella finds herself in danger again. He has to choose between his love for Edward and his friendship with Jacob.

A choice, which can fuel the long-standing enmity between vampires and werewolves.

She has to make another decision as the high school exam date approaches: life or death! Which decision brings him death, and which choice brings life?

عنوانهای چاپ شده در ایران: «خسوف از مجموعه شفق»؛ «ماه گرفتگی»؛ نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش روز چهاردهم ماه دسامبر سال2009میلادی

عنوان: خسوف - ادامه رمان ماه نو - کتاب سوم از مجموعه شفق؛ ماه گرفتگی؛ نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: شهناز کمیلی زاده؛ کرج، در دانش، سال1388، در572ص؛ چاپهای دوم تا چهارم سال1388؛ چاپهای پنجم تا هشتم سال1389؛ شابک9789641740704؛ موضوع: داستانهای نویسندگان ایالات متحده آمریکا - سده21م

عنوان: ماه گرفتگی؛ نویسنده: استفنی مه یر؛ مترجم: فرشید قهرمانی؛ قزوین، سایه گستر، سال1388، در456 ص؛ شابک9789645024404؛

نقل از ابتدای متن کتاب: (بعضی میگویند: دنیا در میان آتش، به پایان میرسد، دیگران میپندارند در میان یخ، با طعمی که از اشتیاق و شور و شوق چشیده ام، با آنها که آتش را ترجیح میدهند، موافقم؛ ولی اگر بنا باشد دوباره از بین برود، فکر میکنم به اندازه ی کافی نفرت را میشناسم، که بگویم: برای ویرانی دنیا یخ نیز معرکه است، و کفایت میکند)؛ پایان نقل از «رابرت فراست» در ابتدای متن کتاب

کشتارهای زنجیره ای دهشتناکی، در شهر «سیاتل» رخ میدهند، زن خون آشام خبیثی، همچنان به جستجوی انتقام جویانه ی خود، ادامه میدهد؛ «بلا» بار دیگر، خود را، رودررو با خطر، میبیند؛ او باید، میان عشقی که به «ادوارد» دارد، و دوستی با «جاکوب»، یکی را برگزیند؛ گزینشی، که میتواند به دشمنی دیرینه ی خون آشامها، و گرگینه ها، دامن بزند؛ او مجبور است، با نزدیک شدن تاریخ امتحانات دبیرستان، تصمیم دیگری نیز بگیرد: زندگی یا مرگ! کدام تصمیم، مرگ را برایش به ارمغان میآورد، و کدام گزینش زندگی را؟

تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 29/09/1399هجری خورشیدی؛ 09/09/1400هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی
Profile Image for Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin.
3,607 reviews11.1k followers
August 16, 2020
FIRE AND ICE



Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice

ROBERT FROST




Still loving and still wishing I could be a werewolf. Of course, I would look ultimately more awesome 😉



Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾

BLOG: https://melissa413readsalot.blogspot....
Profile Image for Saya.
4 reviews4 followers
January 27, 2008
Eclipse took what magic was in Twilight and survived the boring but interesting New Moon and killed it off with it's length, lack of imagery, inconsistencies, and lifeless characters.

The high school romance theme is COMPLETELY abandoned- we have the occasional, random scene since we need some build up to Bella's very boring graduation where she doesn't care. I think the high school theme is one of the reasons Twilight was such a success, the reader was really in Bella's shoes as she solved Edward while attending school to provide a normal break. We sometimes read Bella studying for tests but that is only to pass the time until something supernatural happens, we never see the test nor does she feel ANY concern for her dismal grades. Heck, Bella doesn't even care about a paid stay at Dartmouth even if it's just a cover.

The writing dropped dead, like the book itself, and lost its magic- it was by no means great prose but it was descriptive and nice to read. Now we read: "It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figurine- the miniature wolf was utterly realistic". Well gee, thanks for that- couldn't Meyer have at least told us the wolf's pose?

Bella lost the traits that made her relatable and enjoyable- that made us feel that she was Edward's equal. She cares nothing for her parents or human friends, only visiting Angela- the first time we've seen one on one interaction between them- to avoid Edward and to appease Charlie, just so she meets her end of their deal and can be with her boyfriend. Though Bella was the only one to figure out that the intruder and the Seattle newborns were related which is meant to be a sign of her observance, it was so freaking obvious that I knew who was responsible for the newborns the day of the Eclipse Prom when I read the excerpt and knew who made the newborns, but Bella- by accident- only figures this out two days before the newborn attack. Bella whines about everything, referring to Edward leaving the house because of Jacob visiting as being childish and immature despite that we at least know how much they dislike each other and would gladly fight given the chance. She never thinks about how much she is hurting Jacob by keeping him around unless he tells that to her face. For some reason, every good character loves her, even Paul who tried to attack Bella before welcomes her (only joking about the bloodsucker stench). Then she becomes the housewife to Charlie, cooking his meals, cleaning the house as a pastime since Charlie didn't learn these skills in his 18 years of living alone nor when he had to care for his ailing parents after high school. "And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you gives me just throws us more out of balance". The most distressing change is that Bella continues to mope about how unworthy she is of Edward, despite that she had an epiphany at the end of New Moon which finally made her understand that Edward loved her. Then there's marriage- though I understand the argument, I don't understand it coming from Bella. Hey stupid, your true love wants to MARRY YOU and yet all you can think of is the town gossip even though you will leave Forks and possibly only keep contact with your father while abandoning everyone else- so why does their gossip matter!? Bella only agrees to marriage so she can have human sex with Edward before he makes her a vampire; Bella wants sex with Edward while a human (offering to accept his proposal, let him pay for college AND a car, the floozy) but Edward only promises to try if Bella marries him, she agrees... but for the sake of sex because she is till disgusted by marriage. She is still Grumpy about parties, only complaining despite all the effort the Cullens have done for her.

Edward lost his suave, flirtatious, and mysterious charm that enchanted so many in Twilight. He's so devoted like a lovesick puppy, that it's not charming. Edward either manipulates Bella to do what he wants (for her sake) or he lets her get her way- only when it concerns Jacob (after they fight of course), but Edward seemingly overcomes his very character and being to give Bella what she wants (which is a selfish and harmful want on Bella's part). I.e. He kept pressuring Bella to go to Florida (to avoid a werewolf/vampire fight for no good reason) and then tricked Bella into wanting to go by setting up an argument with her dad- that made me so mad. But despite how pathetic he was, the fact that he loves Bella so much that he won't even be mad with her despite the second kiss still won my pity- revoking all will and opinions for the sake of Bella just made me sick.

What used to be a cute, loyal friend with a crush is now an obnoxious, arrogant, sick boy. Jake forces himself on Bella and she breaks her hand when trying to punch the @$$ yet he still has the gall to put his arm around her and only say that Bella enjoyed it. When Bella gives him the cold shoulder later he merely acts exasperated. Then he does a hurt puppy act- actually pouting- when Bella is too distracted to pay mind to him when all he wants to do is give her a present. He later pretends that he plans to sacrifice himself to allow Edward to be with Bella- I actually bought this, thinking Jake's new tough attitude led to this moment- but as it turns out, it was all a plot to get Bella to kiss him. Between the two, I may actually want Jake for life since he has flaws and hobbies that a couple could work to overcome in their lifetime, but not now; he brought this on himself. Jake never acted like he truly loved Bella but rather that Bella was a trophy to prove Jake bested perfect Edward.

Their lovable traits have gone missing, leaving very dislikable characters behind whose flaws are either ignored or always forgiven.

On the few good sides we finally learn Jasper and Rosalie's past. Rosalie's was much more interesting to me since she was much more involved in the plot both in her bitterness and actions in New Moon; also because she told Bella her story in a selfless effort to not only amend for her past behavior but try to convince Bella to stay human. I actually felt sorry for her- how she will never sit on a porch with Emmet watching their grandchildren play- it made my throat ache. Yet all Bella takes from the story is how Tanya was interested in Edward.
Jasper's wasn't very interesting- maybe it's because I wish I knew what he looked like beyond "tall, lanky, and blonde" or because as I read his flat story I kept wondering why Bella never noted a Texan accent- that certainly would have made him more interesting. Jasper's story just lacked any good descriptions or life, it was like reading Interview with the Vampire but without the wonderful imagery or morale lessons- just imagine how dull that would be. But I am happy we learned about him as well as how he and Alice met the Cullens- it sounds so dang interesting; I wish Meyer will write a spin off about Alice meeting Jasper.
We also learn the werewolves past... it certainly wasn't as epic as I suspected. So much for natural enemies, werewolves and vampires only became enemies by accident.

Speaking of the werewolves- imprinting? Yeah, poor guys, being subjected to such a lame plot device. Meyer, in case you didn't know, imprinting is when a baby animal (most commonly BIRDS) label the first thing they see as their mentor and follow the thing (be it alive or not) as an example of how to survive. Even without being scientifically incorrect it is a bad idea and I felt no romance in there. I feel ill when I recall Bella seeing her relationship with Edward just like werewolf imprinting... that completely degraded their relationship and stripped it of love.

Seriously now, why can't the beloved, wonderful, and selfless Bella feel any sympathy towards Victoria who lost her beloved James because of Edward and Bella? Isn't Victoria's situation just like Bella's? Victoria isn't even treated as a villain, we never even see the newborns besides one who isn't at all the threat we wish we saw nor is she even acknowledged until about two days before the attack- she only speaks once and yells once, not even being remotely threatening.

Then there's the women, all besides Alice are pathetically devoted to their man. Let's count them: Bella, Renee, Esme with her first husband (she was abused but Meyer didn't have to do that), Leah, Victoria, Jessica, and even Lauren; which leaves Alice and Rosalie the only women to not be crazy without their men and leaves Alice to be the only strong female in the entire series (Rosalie wasn't as strong but better than the others). Look at Leah, her love couldn't resist being with Emily and now Leah is part of the pack and has to share thoughts with Sam, rather than make a strong woman who overcomes her pain and moves on we get a bitter harpy who can't even be nice to Jake for saving her life when she was being cocky, she instead seeks him out to complain how Jake's lovesick dreams of Bella annoy her and then reminds him of how Edward will most likely kill Bella- while smirking.

Every one of the books had a mystery- Twilight had Edward, New Moon had Jake, so Meyer tried to spin a mystery with who was making newborns and who is the intruder in Bella's room. With the intruder, Meyer did a good job confusing the characters with the Volturi option, making a decent argument to their possible involvement. The newborns receive the same treatment but nowhere as convincing. She constantly weaves through the two, trying to confuse us while making the characters so dim, none consider Victoria as an option until two days before the attack, and even then it was accident by rephrasing. The mystery was very bad and unlike the other two, it was so distant and uninvolved I never felt intrigued, especially since I knew the answer.

Only read for the sake of the series.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Danielle.
1,027 reviews590 followers
June 17, 2024
Welcome to my re-read of the Vampire Saga Twilight! 🍎It’s been nearly two decades since this series sparkled its way into Twi-hard-fans hearts. 🥰 To make this re-read more interesting- I’ll be listening to: Unbitten: A Journey through the Twilight Saga on Spotify. 🎧 SPOILER ALERT: I will be updating this review as I tackle the books, podcast and movies- highlighting my favorite takeaways along the way. So, if you’re unfamiliar with this saga- and plan on reading it- don’t read further than here 👈

📚Chapter 1: The wolves and vamps just can’t get along.
🎧Podcast Episode 41: Charlie really is trying to be a great dad.
📚Chapter 2: Edward isn’t allowing Bella to see Jacob.
🎧Podcast Episode 42: Possessive men- Bella is ready to fight everyone- understandably.
📚Chapter 3: The wolves and vamps worked together (kinda) to try to catch Victoria
🎧Podcast Episode 43: I legit skip all the ramble not related to Twilight…. I’m too invested at this point to find a different/better podcast….. Both sides underestimate Bella’s ability to understand danger
📚Chapter 4: Jacob visits Bella at school
🎧Podcast Episode 44: Jake and Bella reunion
📚Chapter 5: Bella skips out to see Jacob
🎧Podcast Episode 45: Dive into imprinting
📚Chapter 6: Edward bribes Alice with a yellow Porsche
🎧Podcast Episode 46: Edward’s crossing the line with the hostage situation
📚Chapter 7: Rosalie shares her story with Bella
🎧Podcast Episode 47: Rosalie’s vengeance on her killers
📚Chapter 8: Edward apologizes and swears to never hold Bella hostage again
🎧Podcast Episode 48: Changeover from team Jacob to team Edward
📚Chapter 9: Someone has been in Bella’s room, time to track them
🎧Podcast Episode 49: Bella stands up to both Edward and Jacob
📚Chapter 10: Jacob finds out Bella is going to change after graduation
🎧Podcast Episode 50: Edward being supportive finally
📚Chapter 11: Edward and Jacob are finally getting along, kinda
🎧Podcast Episode 51: History of how werewolves came to be in the tribe
📚Chapter 12: Graduation is just one week away and now Bella has cold feet?
🎧Podcast Episode 52: Serial killer in Seattle
📚Chapter 13: A new vampire army- and Jaspers explains his history
🎧Podcast Episode 53: The theories, Jaspers old maker, Volturi, someone attacking the Cullen’s
📚Chapter 14: Cullen’s are preparing for battle and Jacob tells Bella he loves her
🎧Podcast Episode 54: Is it really a love triangle if Bella has made it clear that Edward is always her choice?
📚Chapter 15: Bella hits Jacob and breaks her hand
🎧Podcast Episode 55: Jacob was completely out of line, gross to force a kiss on anyone
📚Chapter 16: Bella graduates
🎧Podcast Episode 56: Edward has grown so much and holds his cool pretty well
📚Chapter 17: Alice sees the vampire army is coming to Forks
🎧Podcast Episode 57: Utilizing the werewolves strength in defeating the army
📚Chapter 18: The pack and Cullen’s train together
🎧Podcast Episode 58: The plan for Bella
📚Chapter 19: Bella asks Edward to stay behind and not fight
🎧Podcast Episode 59: Pack communications and how convenient, and inconvenient, it can be
📚Chapter 20: Edward and Bella are officially engaged
🎧Podcast Episode 60: The angsty lust
📚Chapter 21: Jacob is still being a nag about Bella loving him
🎧Podcast Episode 61: Why Jacob isn’t the Alpha
📚Chapter 22: Jacob and Edward have a heart to heart
🎧Podcast Episode 62: Jacob shows his lack of maturity as he is unable to put his own desire aside and respect Bella’s wishes
📚Chapter 23: I hate this kiss in the book 🤮
🎧Podcast Episode 63: Jacob’s manipulation of Bella is disgusting
📚Chapter 24: Victoria… Bella was right
🎧Podcast Episode 64: How Edward uses his powers in battle
📚Chapter 25: The Volturi suddenly appear after the army is defeated
🎧Podcast Episode 65: Jane and Bree Tanner
📚Chapter 26: Bella visits Jacob and again the choice is Edward
🎧Podcast Episode 66: How Edward proves he loves Bella more than Jacob does
��Chapter 27 and Epilogue: Edward promises Bella whatever she wants, cause he just wants her to be happy.
🎧Podcast Episode 67: Jacob’s inability to understand or respect what Bella wants

🎬Eclipse: This is one of those rare instances in which the films are infinitely better than the books. The books do not paint Jacob in a positive light and the movie eases that.
🎧Podcast Episode 70: Reading the Novella really helps add more to the movie experience

Love them or hate them, you’ve heard of them- and it’s because of their undeniable popularity in their time. Are they absolute masterpieces, no. If you can view these as the campy sparkling vampires they are- then you’ll thoroughly enjoy these books. 😉
Profile Image for Mari.
754 reviews6,994 followers
December 18, 2016

Last year for the 10th anniversary of Twilight, I decided to read and recap (with the help of some wonderful people) that first Twilight book. This was something that I had already done with the ENTIRE Fifty Shades series, so I was expecting Twilight to honestly present us a chance to laugh more and Hulksmash less.

I was quickly proved wrong by Twilight and New Moon.

Eclipse was, if you can believe it, even worse. It's almost impressive how authors of terribly written abuse porn seem to up their own trash as the series goes along. Every time I asked myself how it could possibly get worse, Stephenie Meyer showed me how.

I'll spare you what has already been said a thousand times over about how badly written this book is. It's objectively low quality. Bella is a terrible narrator. She goes from being incredibly obtuse and not noticing #basic things like, I don't know, how her life is constantly in danger to noticing too much, like hearing entire conversations WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING. Cheatery narration litters the prose, but it's clear that the prose doesn't truly matter. Everyone, including the author, is here for Edward and Bella.

So, let's instead focus on three things here:

1- Bella and Edward's relationship is disgusting. Edward controls every single aspect of the relationship, including how and when Bella expresses her sexuality. He manipulates the crap out of her, keeping her from seeing who she wants to see or going where she wants to go. He plans cross-country travel to keep her from a party. He bribes her into a marriage by withholding sex and conversion, HE TAKES HER CAR APART TO KEEP HER AT HOME, Bella constantly makes comments about how she doesn't even know if she'll survive upcoming meetings with the supposed love of her life, Edward assigns members of his family to baby-sit (read: stalk) his girlfriend. There is literally no reason these two people should like each other and yet, here we are.

2- This is SO RACIST OH MY GOD. Meyer appropriates Native stories and legends only to call them GENETICALLY INFERIOR to the white vampires. There is a scene where she has Jacob telling one of the Quileute "legends" and it involves the Quileute LITERALLY BOWING DOWN TO A WHITE WOMAN. What's the purpose of that whole, 17 pages portion of the story? So that Bella, a white girl, can see her #firstworldproblems reflected in the story. Even just reliving that for a second makes me livid.

3- Jacob is also disgusting. His behavior is reprehensible in this story. He forces himself on Bella multiple times all leading to a kiss he gets by threatening suicide unless it happens. And that's when Bella realizes she also loves Jacob. What kind of message is that???? It hurts my heart that this is the YA that shaped a generation and that generation stills stands up for this. Rape-kisses do not a romantic love triangle make, dear friends. Jacob using his physicality to force Bella into situations she doesn't want to be in is not okay. Jacob emotionally manipulating Bella is not okay. Jacob being the worst is not an excuse for Edward to also be the worst.

It's very clear that Meyer is totally about this idea of not being able to help yourself or your love or your actions-- this is the book where the godforsaken concept of imprinting is introduced. No matter how much she tries to explain it as not totally effing creepy that a grown man follows an unwitting baby around until she's basically like Stockholmed into falling in love with him, Meyer will never make this concept okay with me. It's a giant representation for her entire series, though. The boy picks the girl and the girl sits there and takes his love, no matter what.

I don't know what else to say. It's book 3 and the plot IS STILL that Victoria is gonna come get and eat Bella, or whatever. They drag it out the entire book and every time something bad happens, it takes them multiple chapters to be like, "...could it be Victoria?" YES. IT'S ALWAYS VICTORIA. WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?

There's an awful chapter in here where we get backstory about Rosalie and it's basically that she was gang raped. It has a TERRIBLE message that basically puts the blame of her rape on her beauty. And then Carlisle turns her because she's too beautiful to waste. None of this is addressed or refuted. It just happens and we wander quickly away to talk some more about Edward and Bella's stupid love.

Full recaps here.

Profile Image for Paula.
545 reviews7 followers
June 3, 2019


Book 3 in The Twilight Saga. Bella and Edward are back together, while Bella is struggling to hold on to her friendship with her very best friend, Jacob. There is also a new threat lurking on the horizon.

This was another very entertaining story in the series. Romance, action, and some great interplay and moments between the characters, especially Bella and Jacob. Jacob continues to grow on me more and more with each book. It was interesting to learn more about Rosalie and Jasper, and also the legends of the werewolves. Atmospheric as always in the small-town setting of Forks, Washington. I'm looking forward to the final book, Breaking Dawn.
Profile Image for Mary ~Ravager of Tomes~.
358 reviews1,011 followers
June 23, 2018
Actual Rating: 1.5 Stars

Man this one was a lot harder to reread than the first two. So much manipulation & whining & lovey dovey, ugh. Definitely less fun now that Jacob is a full blown asshole.
Profile Image for Christy.
4,261 reviews35.2k followers
July 20, 2020
5 stars

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2020 re-read Continuing my re-read of the Twilight Saga before Midnight Sun. For some reason, Eclipse seems to have really low ratings among a lot of my friends. It's my favorite of the series(still) and I love it so much. I have so much nostalgia for these books, it's hard for me to look at this series objectively. They all hold such a special place in my life. After nursing school, this reignited my flame for loving reading. I've always been a reader, and I did read in school, but while in nursing school I slowed down to a book or two a month. Then once I graduated (in 2008) I picked up this series. I read all 4 books in less than a week and it made me crave reading again and I've not stopped since! Once again, the audio was okay. I'm looking forward to seeing how the audio of Breaking Dawn goes because it has dual narration. Also, less than 3 weeks until Midnight Sun! Eek!
Profile Image for Will Byrnes.
1,341 reviews121k followers
February 9, 2017
With the imminent (This was written in 2010) release of the film (and the film getting decent reviews) it seemed time to dive back in. Meyer is a guilty pleasure, and the 629 pages read like 250.

Bella, as usual, straddles the line between vampires and werewolves. But Stephanie Meyer has broadened her scope. She adds the complication of additional players and increased the battle forces a bit, adding some new recruits to the forces of real darkness and throwing in some preparatory and fun back stories to bolster the coming action. She offers us a little literary meat and potatoes this time, with frequent references to Wuthering Heights. But whiny Bella still cleaves to Edward while keeping the panting Jacob at something less than paw’s length. There is emotional (and some literal) bodice ripping aplenty. Can Jacob convince Bella to reconsider? Will Charlie grow any consciousness of his surroundings? Will Edward give Bella what she wants? Will the Volturi muck up the entire works? Will anyone in these books ever have sex? I’m not telling. Howling good fun, without being a complete howler.
Profile Image for exploraDora.
597 reviews311 followers
September 7, 2020
***4,5/5 Stars***

Eclipse, just like Twilight and New Moon, is a surprisingly good read. The book didn’t feel like it was over 600 pages long, I literally flew through the pages and had to make a conscious effort to slow down my reading so I didn’t finish the whole book in a couple of sittings.

This one is getting a higher rating than the previous two books because I probably enjoyed reading it the most so far. I found myself laughing pretty often and that's a big plus for me. I liked the story, the conflicts, the character development and I even enjoyed the love triangle. At first I thought it will annoy me, but nope (I normally hate love triangles). It was all good.

As I said before, I already had seen the movies years ago, so I guess knowing what to expect helped a little. Of course not everything was perfect, as every other book, it does have some bad parts too. But I'm an optimistic and a positive person, so I ignored those parts and decided I really liked it. Ha.

I am glad I picked this series up.
Profile Image for paige (ptsungirl).
769 reviews1,012 followers
January 1, 2024
"It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. This. You. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable."

This book is about Edward and Bella and how special their relationship becomes. It's also about how incredibly terrible Jacob Black is. Comfort series... but remove Jacob Black from every part of this book ('m going to do my best to not say another bad thing about him this entire review. Because Jacob is the only thing in this series I hate and he doesn't truly deserve a place in me gushing over it).

I think my favorite thing about reading the Twilight series, especially when I was younger and this was the first world I really slipped into, is that the fantastical elements slip so easily into reality. Especially in this book, there's so many real life things going on surrounding all the fantasy. Yes, there's a vampire war on the brink of happening. There's the werewolf pack and all their histories. There's Bella's constant debate with Edward and his family on when she'll finally join them. But there's also traveling, and high school, and graduation, and saying goodbye to classmate and your childhood. There's so much real slipped into my favorite vampire lore of all time.

I know, I know, it's the least vampiric vampire lore ever written. But doesn't that make it even more interesting in the end? Sometimes I think people hate it just to say that they hate it. Spoiler alert: it's not cool to hate such a beautiful series just because you think it's cheesy and overhyped. When it came out, there was absolutely nothing else like it on the shelves. And it will always be the book series I read when I need a little centering.

The Twilight series is my best friend. Knowing there's a world I can slip into that's based in reality but slips into fantasy... it's still one of the coolest things I've ever read in my life.

Now onto Eclipse. I've read these books so many times that it's crazy to me that I still find new things to love. I've always thought that the movie proposal Edward gives came from nowhere. It was necessary and beautiful and everything I wish that the book could have given us... but this is the first time I've noticed that everything he says in that proposal IS in the book, When I tell you I squealed this time around. I was so happy when I got to the book proposal and knew that even if it isn't up to Edward's romantic standards... everything I wanted it to be was still written out at some point. Eclipse as a movie is easily the best they've done as far as the Twilight adaptions went. I was so happy to find something new to love about it in this read.

I love watching Edward and Bella navigate their relationship in a very real way for the first time. There's no real fear of him leaving her, and that's something that really sat over them for the last two books. I love seeing them as an actual couple, communicating their fears and their hopes, negotiating what they can both live with and what their future might look like. I love that Edward always listens to her, even when no one else is. I love that she is always honest with him as far as Jacob Black is concerned. I have nothing good to say about him in this book, so I'm attempting to be good and leave it at that.

I also love how much more important the Cullen family and their histories come into the plot. Rosalie and Jasper especially telling their stories. I love that Rosalie explains to Bella why she would make a different choice, and I love the simplicity of Jasper telling his story and hinting at why the Volturi become such a big issue in the next book. Why even though they're power hungry and the "big bad guys", people respect them all over for keeping them safe. It's so cool to see all the tiny hints into why the issue becomes so big in the next book. I love all the little bits of the Cullen family we get in Eclipse: it's why it'll always be a five star book (despite every word that comes out of Jacob's mouth).

I love how the wolves end up coming in. How the idea of keep your friends close, but your enemies closer really comes into the plot here. When the vampires and the werewolves band together and they see how well they can work together... it's the first step in the beautiful dynamic they end up making by the end of the next book. I could talk about how special Seth and Edward's bond is for the rest of my life, and I probably will. I love their histories. Their stories. I love that in their stories a human woman is their true hero. I love that despite all the hatred between the vampires and werewolves, they still find a way to become so much more than their histories.

Above everything else, though, I love watching Bella step into her true self. It makes me more and more proud every time I go through this book. She's so special to me. I have always seen so much of myself in her. She really finds herself in Breaking Dawn, but you see her truly begin her journey into that here. I love that she finally starts to make decisions for herself and put them into action. Whether it be figuring out that the newborns are linked to her home break-in or saying yes to Edward on her own terms and no one else's, or even something as simple as finally putting Jacob in his place. This is the first book that you truly see how special she'll be when she finally becomes a vampire and steps into her true place in this world around her. I love every second of it. I love loving her.

I've read this series too many times to count in my life, but I do know that they've been my constant companion since I was eleven. I know that I will never love anything like I love them. I know that Edward Cullen will always be the light of my life. I know I could never find the words to thank Stephenie Meyer ENOUGH for hers.
Profile Image for Zoe.
338 reviews2,082 followers
December 31, 2021
I honestly didn't think that Twilight could get any worse but here this book stands.

Warning: There will be major spoilers for the whole series and there will be swearing.

Holey mother fucker of god, I just remembered what happened in this book and WOW.

As per usual the names will be as follows:

Edward: Mr Light Bulb. Because apparently vampires sparkle in the sun now instead of burning?
Bella: Little Miss Dumb: Because well aparently someone who wants you for your blood is attractive? Hmnh, I don’t think so.
Jacob: Fuzz balls: I don’t think I need to explain.

Right shall we go over what happens in this book?

LETS NOT FORGET THAT BELLA WANTS TO BE TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE AND TO DO THAT SHE HAS TO MARRY EDWARD AT 18 YEARS OF AGE!!

So I'm going to skip over the part where they visit the mum because that is not important and well nothing interesting happens. What did you expect? It's TWILIGHT?!

And then we find out that there are newborns out to kill Miss Dumb because shes SPESHUL and there is no one else like her. AKA the definition of ‘I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS’

And of course Mr Fuzz Balls is there because WHAT WOULD A YA FANTASY BOOK BE WITHOUT A 'I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS’ GIRL AND TWO BOYS SUDDENLY IN LOVE WITH HER

And GUESS WHAT HAPPENS???????
MR FUZZ BALLS KISSES HER
YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT
They KISS
And you must be thinking: DOESN'T SHE WANT TO CHANGE HER LIFE FOR EDWARD?
YES, YOU ARE RIGHT BUT SHE STILL KISSES HIM

AND NOW WHAT YOU MUST ASK? HOW COULD THIS BOOK BECOME ANY BETTER???

Well lucky for you I'm here to tell you!!
So the vampires who SPARKLE and the wolves who ARE MAD form an alliance to protect Miss Dumb because she is SPESHUL and no one can ever compare to her?!
MISS DUMB YOU ARE LITTERALLY LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL!!!
YOU HAVE BROWN HAIR BROWN EYES AND YOUR ONLY QUIRK IS THAT YOU HATE THE COLD!
OH WAIT YOU ARE LITERALLY DATING THE COLDEST THING EVER

AND THEN EDWARD FINDS OUR BUT HE IS NOT MAD AT ALL BECAUSE HE IS A FEMINIST AND IS TOTALLY FINE WITH HIS GF KISSING HOTTER MEN.

AND THEN WE FIND OUT THAT BELLA IS IN LOVE WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO BOYS BOTH. WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
FIRST OFF HOW DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH FUZZ BALLS IN SUCH A SHORT SPAN OF TIME?!
OH WAIT BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONE BRAIN CELL..
*Inhales sharply*

And now we have the BIG war WHERE NO ONE DIES!
I would be so happy if Miss Dumb died.
SO THEY KILL ALL OF THE NEWBORNS BECAUSE STRENGTH AND POWER AND WHAT NOT. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I was so sad th Miss Dumb didn’t die, the world would have been a better place.

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDD THEN THE BABY FACE VAMPIRES COME TO CLEAN UP
And BECAUSE LIGHT BULB DOESN'T WANNA BITE BELLA THEY SEE SHE IS STILL HUMAN
AND I OP---
AND BECAUSE SHE ISN'T THEY ARE LIKE ‘OH YAY WE GET TO KILL HER’
BUTTTTTTTTT NOOOOOOOO LIGHT BULB SAYS THAT THEY HAVE A DATE TO KILL HER AND BRING HER BACK TO LIFE.
It's like setting a date on when you are going to first kiss. LUDACRIS


So they leave and everyone takes a deep breath in relief while i'm sad because they didn't kill her
*cries*

AND THENNNNNN MISS DUMB CHOSES LIGHT BULB *cue cheering* BECAUSE SHE IS MORE IN LOVE WITH HIM THEN FUZZ BALLS.

And then Fuzz Balls lets her go SO EASILY like bro FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU LOVE!!!!

And of course Miss Dumb ‘felt out of place all of her life, but with Edward around she feels complete and stronger’
*VOMITS*

AND THEN BECAUSE BELLA WANTS TO BE DEAD SOOOOO MUCH SHE ACCEPTS TO MARRY LIGHT BULB.
And then are like we should tell Charlie
HELL YEA GIRL YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR DAD THAT YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 18!!!!


Now laugh with me as we look at the amazing quotes:

“Look after my heart - I've left it with you.”
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. To be honest no I cannot. Coming from a glittering vampire IT IS SO CRINGE!!!


“Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV.”
NO SHE STAMPED HE FOOT BECAUSE SHE IS SPESHUL.

Ok I am done I cannot read anymore of Stephanie Meyers horrible writing.

And ofc we have the characters:

Little Miss Dumb::
Still dumb, still SPESUL, still horrible.

Mr Light Bulb:
Still wants to eat Miss dumb as a snack

Mr Fuzz balls::
Still better and hotter than Light Bulb and Miss Dumb REJECTS HIMMMMM

So overall this book was pointless and my brain has suffered from the book.

P.S me and one of my best friends are writing a five part review on the twilight series.

Thank you for reading my rant
*bows*

My review of Twilight

my review of New Moon

my review of Eclipse

my review of Breaking Dawn
246 reviews19 followers
September 3, 2007
I succumbed and read Eclipse. I swear this is the last time I will ever write about Stephenie Meyer. I really am sick and tired of her books. Fortunately, the next won’t be released for a year, so I can put the series behind me for at least that long.

After offending several people with my dislike for the series, I am starting to feel vindicated. Something about the third installment has pushed some Meyer loyalists over the edge. I have heard students at work complaining about how repetitive the books can be, how little occurs in 600+ pages, how weak Bella is, and how repulsive some of the love scenes are. It feels good to be right.

This post isn’t intended to be a ripfest on Meyer, though. I really am feeling over her and her books. But here are a few reasons why:

* Throughout Eclipse, Bella compares herself and her relationship with Edward to Cathy and Heathcliff. That is a very brazen—and unwarranted—comparison to make. How big must Meyer’s ego be—how warped her sense of importance—to compare her book to Emily Brontë’s classic? I mean, seriously?
* Meyer beats the reader over the head with how much Bella and Edward love each other. Their love is unearthly (like Catherine and Heathcliff’s?); it surmounts all restraints and barriers. There never was such a love as theirs. Yet, for the life of me, after reading the three books I just don’t feel that love. I don’t even understand why the characters are attracted to each other. I’ve been told ad nauseum that Edward is attractive. But is physical attraction a solid basis for love? And what in the world can Edward (or Jacob, for that matter) find attractive about Bella? She whines and complains and trips and faints. Despite reading over 1500 pages about their love, I still don’t buy it. I feel no attachment to or investment in the characters or their relationship.
* The physicality in this book really has gone too far. One scene, in particular, is straight out of any romance novel. I’m not criticizing romance novels. They are what they are and don’t pretend to be anything else. This book, though, is masquerading as a young adult classic: “His hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip” (186). I blush even typing the words. Oh my.

Okay, I guess this is a Stephenie Meyer ripfest. I’m not sure why I feel so venomous (wink wink) about these novels. Maybe I’m just jealous that Meyer can write absolute filth and be a bestselling novelist. If nothing else, this should inspire me to write more and write better.
Profile Image for Jenne.
1,086 reviews719 followers
August 28, 2007
Agh. What is the point of any of this? Edward is so dull and controlling and creepy. I think even a seventeen-year-old would need more than unearthly beauty and a nice car to inspire this epic, world-ending love.
Jacob is the only real character, and even he keeps forcing himself on Bella in unsettling ways.

The whole story is endless repetitions of

Character: I'm going to do X.
Other Character: I will not allow it.
Character: (does it anyway)
Other Character: (is hurt) I TOLD you not to do that, but thank you.
Character: See? I would NEVER do anything to hurt you.

with pretty much everyone in the book taking one role or the other at some point.

I'm still going to read the next one, but if she doesn't end up with Jacob I'm going to be VERY UPSET.

Profile Image for Manny.
Author 38 books15.3k followers
October 22, 2009
Looking at other reviews of Eclipse, I'm a little surprised by the comments. Yes, of course it's badly written. Yes, of course Bella and Edward are horrible people, and they have a sick, co-dependent relationship. But that doesn't get any closer to explaining why these books are so popular.

I would say that what they have going for them is that the psychology is not unrealistic, and in fact describes uncompromisingly how destructive love can be. It could hardly be plainer that Bella has made an appalling mistake in falling for Edward. Let's see: he's not even human; he's 80 years older than she is; he's a murderer; he's an amoral, controlling, manipulative type, who alternates between anal attention to detail and psychotic lack of impulse control. She knows all this, and she knows that Jacob is a kind, decent person who truly loves her, but she can't get Edward out of her head. Her obsession with Edward leads to her hurting Jacob over and over again, and still she can't overcome her compulsion to use him in increasingly humiliating and cruel ways.

What's powerful about the story is that we see it all through Bella's eyes, and watch her swinging back and forward between alternate phases of self-delusion and clarity. She's constantly telling us how good, kind, noble and wonderful Edward is, but her unconscious is also noting all the dreadful things he does, and we get to hear about them too. I thought the recurrent motif with the motorcycles was one of the clearest instances. In New Moon, Edward callously leaves Bella, and Jacob does his damnedest to rescue her from a nervous breakdown. He salvages two old motorcycles for them, and teaches her to ride. Bella loves the feeling of freedom and speed this gives her, and particularly relishes the sense of danger; this is how she also fantasizes that she is close to Edward.

After Edward returns, he sees that this is the place where Bella is nearest to escaping his grip. He acquires a much better motorcycle of his own to take the glamor away, and he also gives her a helmet and riding jacket, ostensibly to show that he cares about her safety; but she was only riding dangerously in the first place because he had left her. Finally, when Jacob has almost died defending Bella, his life-threatening injuries are blamed on a motorcycle accident. Edward cleverly exploits this to win over Bella's father, who is smart enough to have been suspicious of him; Charlie remarks that Edward hasn't been putting Bella's life at risk. Jacob can see how adroitly Edward manipulates everyone's feelings, but only comes across as jealous when he points it out. Well, of course he's outmaneuvered. He's a teenager competing against a centenarian; under the circumstances, he puts up a good fight.

What I approve of is that Bella is led to understand, through observing her own actions, just what kind of person she is: she's repayed her best friend's selfless kindness towards her by ruining his life. I was reminded of L'Âge de Raison, where Mathieu has a similar epiphany, and is forced to realize that he's not really a good guy; he's someone who's stolen a sizable amount of money to pay for his mistress's abortion. I can't help pointing out in passing that, even though Sartre is less popular than Meyer on Goodreads, he is a noticeably more competent prose stylist. If you liked the plot in Eclipse but were annoyed by the writing, you might want to check him out.

Which brings us to the downside of this book. As I've argued, it has worthwhile things to say, but it's just too sloppy and repetitious. Most of the good ideas were already there in New Moon, where they were interestingly underplayed. I'm guessing Meyer got a ton of fanmail after the second volume, and felt that she had clarify things; some of the time, I feel she's more answering a reader's letter than telling a story. Come on Stephenie, you're better than this. Do your own thing, and remember that ambiguity usually improves a novel. And if everyone in the world who believes in sparkly vampires claps their hands, maybe you'll even learn how to write.

Profile Image for Shawna Finnigan.
627 reviews359 followers
November 27, 2021
TW//

This book had more flaws than the previous two books in the series, but I enjoyed it just as much as the other two so I can’t justify giving it anything less than five stars.

This is the series that always divides or splits the book reading universe. Either you hate it or love it and there’s barely anyone in between. I decided not to take anything too seriously while reading this series and it’s helped me love every book in this series so far. There’ll be scenes where people will call it “cringe” and I’ll just be sitting there laughing and enjoying the “cringe” scene. I’ll never join in on defending or attacking this series because for me it’s purely fun escapism that I know is cringeworthy but I can’t help enjoying it.

This book had the best blend of my two favorite characters so far. Twilight was lacking on the Jacob scenes and New Moon was lacking on the Alice scenes, but this one was fantastic. I still don’t hate Jacob as much as everyone else does. He definitely did some things in this book that disgusted me and were unacceptable but I feel like that was somewhat of a forced angsty “love triangle.” The series would’ve been better leaving him as only a friend who doesn’t try to move past the friend zone. I’m not going to defend Jacob’s actions, but I will say that Edward isn’t great either. He’s way too possessive of Bella and he was very rude to Bella when he first met her. I sort of feel like this aggressive only team Edward or only team Jacob thing that exists in the fandom isn’t healthy because they both aren’t perfect.

I don’t really have too much else to say for this book except for a few spoilers, which I’ll of course use spoiler tags to talk about, but Eclipse was a great third book in the series. The pacing was full steam ahead and I liked how the side characters got more of a backstory in this one. I can’t wait to read the rest of the books in this series.

Profile Image for P .
691 reviews344 followers
August 27, 2016
“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”


When Bella is torn between Edward and Jacob, while Edward is her world, Jacob is likewise her savior. So who will she choose ?



Eclipse made my stomach flutter when I read it first time even if it was quite melodramatic as Jacob tries to hold on Bella and never wants to let her go. My heart was broken by that scene and I did want to die alone. I cried a lot for Jacob, by the way.




“Look after my heart - I've left it with you.”


Meyer didn't disappoint me with her third book in the series I love most. Although I've read many books with the love triangles like this one, Eclipse is truly original and classic for me. Plus, she also put some magic in this book and made my childhood full of joy. Thanks so much :))

“I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever.”




I screamed for this scene alone. Oh my poor little heart ! And I think Taylor is hotter than Rob.
Profile Image for Summer Owens.
25 reviews13 followers
February 17, 2008
Sparked by a recent conversation with my friend Hillary, I have decided I need to post my thoughts about a certain series of novels written by Stephenie Meyer. Particularly the relationship between one, Bella, and the object of her affection. The supposedly uber hot vampire, Edward.

Believe me when I say Edward has been well cast in the movie which is scheduled for release in December of this year. I thought Robert Pattinson was exceedingly good looking when I first saw him in Harry Potter (as Cedric Diggory) and I eagerly await his debut in a role that will likely earn him unending fame amongst giddy teenage girls for years to come.
But enough about young hot guys whose posters would have hung on my wall as a teenager.

Besides having a knack for catching spelling and punctuation errors I think a lot about how a certain book might influence it’s audience, and what I think the author should have done differently in writing it based on that.

Can you see why I haven’t written a novel yet? I’m too busy thinking about subtle messages I want to convey instead of the actual story. But I digress.

The main audience in the case of the Twilight series, are a bunch of giggly teenage girls with egregious romantic notions that play out in their daydreams over and over, or which they speak to each other in hushed tones during sleepovers. Oh, and grown women who are often silly school girls at heart. Ahem….

***Warning - Spoilers Ahead!***

I devoured all three of Stephanie’s books, each within a day of borrowing them. I didn’t think much about them initially. I was caught up in the intense romance, the stunningly accurate view through a teenage girls mind. I identified immensely with Bella and her feelings of being so very ordinary. I also understood her intense attraction to Edward. I always crushed on the mysterious guys. The dangerous guys.

But the more I’ve mulled over this vehement love story, the more concerned I’ve become in what I anticipate will be its ending. Especially when thinking about the thousands of teenage girls who worship this series. So I say….

Bella really needs to break things off with Edward.

Let me offer up my reasons for this before any of you kick me:

1. Holy Co-Dependent Relationship Batman!
Co-Dependant relationships are never healthy and Bella and Edward have got a doozie of one going on. It may not have started that way but it’s turned into that. Grieving for those we’ve loved and lost is certainly natural but Bella took it well beyond that point, ceasing to be anything but a drone doing only what she had to in order to survive after Edward left. Then of course Edward has sworn to kill himself shortly after the time Bella has died.
Sweet? Romantic? Not on your life.

Other problems with their relationship that hinge on co-dependency:
* Lack of interaction with other friends and acquaintances
* Bella’s mental attention focusing solely on relieving Edward’s pain i.e. If she’s a vampire, he won’t struggle with wanting to kill her anymore. If she’s a vampire, she’ll finally be worthy of him.
* Feeling her life is meaningless without him.

2. Bella is being smothered
Edward and his family are controlling Bella. They may not be doing it on purpose but that doesn’t make it any better. Bella seems to attract danger and Edward feels the need to protect her. He watches her all night, she gets driven by them everywhere. She rarely does anything of her own accord or by herself and when she does she know she’ll face Edwards disapproval afterwards. Their relationship has become more and more like a naughty little child disobeying their master. *shudder*

3. They don’t really love each other
They lust each other. The only basis for Bella’s devotion and supposed love that I can find are descriptions of Edwards danger and his beauty. And do you think for one moment that Edward would have taken a second glance at Bella (other than to eat her) if he had been able to read her thoughts? He was bound to be obsessed with the first girl who had the power to block him out. They are enchanted by the mystery of each other. Is this love? No. Could it turn into love? Certainly. But book three definitely had their relationship getting more and more icky.

4. My belief in number 3 was only reaffirmed by the part Jacob has played.
I won’t tell you that I think Bella should end up with Jacob instead. But it would be healthier than being with Edward. Being around his cheerful and friendly self brought some vigor back into her life. It was good that she didn’t perceive him as a possible love interest or she may have latched on to him in rebound as she had to Edward in the first place, becoming more needy and dependent on his feeding her constant reassurances than she had been with Edward. Slowly and without force, Jacob’s friendship brought her back to life, and though she still grieved for Edward she was finally living again.

I also agree with Jacob that eventually she would have been happy without Edward. She would have maybe even realized that her love for Jacob was real and something deeper than the one she had with Edward. Alas that Edward has to go off and try to kill himself!

As an adult I’ve looked back on some relationships I had as a teen in which I was sure I really loved the person. I did care deeply about them. It was love of a sort. But not the kind that would have withstood the fizzling of passion and the inevitable changing of beliefs and shifts in personality we make until we die.

So Stephenie Meyer, if you’re reading this, do you really want to send a message that co-dependent relationships are romantic? That ceasing to live for yourself is romantic? That being willing to kill yourself over the one you love is romantic? That love is based on mystery, danger and good looks alone?

I don’t care who she ends up with ultimately (though I do hope that if it’s Edward their relationship improves) but please do us all a favor and have Bella learn to think and live for herself and grow out of this sickening neediness and willingness to be controlled.

This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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