So, this one is about a vampire who is best buddies with a werewolfMy run of 2-star reads continues...
[image] Where's my fainting couch when I need it?
So, this one is about a vampire who is best buddies with a werewolf pack - defying the tradition of hatred between the two kinds. It is the equivalent of the Roadrunner and Coyote getting married. An insult to God and all of mankind.
[image] It was always a game. A sexy role-play game. The Roadrunner looks happy to be caught and is about to say "Choke me, Daddy."
Our vampire, Alex, buys a piece of crap "fixer-upper" of a house with a bunch of land so his puppy pals have lots of room to romp and kill every full moon. But, one pup gets hurt so he ends up bringing his new neighbor, a veterinarian, in to help. And, well, you know, he must have been rocking that set of scrubs and comfy shoes because things get sexy... as things are wont to do when crocs are matched with socks....
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There are some very tame issues that seem too easily resolved, and a bad guy who never really felt as threatening as the author wanted. The characters seemed likable enough, but none of them were developed. I think that by trying to give all of the secondary characters dimension, there just wasn't enough page-time for the main couple's personalities and chemistry to come through. It was all just a mild, surface look at a lot of people that I didn't connect strongly with.
Merged review:
My run of 2-star reads continues...
[image] Where's my fainting couch when I need it?
So, this one is about a vampire who is best buddies with a werewolf pack - defying the tradition of hatred between the two kinds. It is the equivalent of the Roadrunner and Coyote getting married. An insult to God and all of mankind.
[image] It was always a game. A sexy role-play game. The Roadrunner looks happy to be caught and is about to say "Choke me, Daddy."
Our vampire, Alex, buys a piece of crap "fixer-upper" of a house with a bunch of land so his puppy pals have lots of room to romp and kill every full moon. But, one pup gets hurt so he ends up bringing his new neighbor, a veterinarian, in to help. And, well, you know, he must have been rocking that set of scrubs and comfy shoes because things get sexy... as things are wont to do when crocs are matched with socks....
[image]
There are some very tame issues that seem too easily resolved, and a bad guy who never really felt as threatening as the author wanted. The characters seemed likable enough, but none of them were developed. I think that by trying to give all of the secondary characters dimension, there just wasn't enough page-time for the main couple's personalities and chemistry to come through. It was all just a mild, surface look at a lot of people that I didn't connect strongly with....more
I would have rated this higher if the beginning wasn't so clunky because I generally like the trope of fake romances becoming real. But, the set-up foI would have rated this higher if the beginning wasn't so clunky because I generally like the trope of fake romances becoming real. But, the set-up for this fake relationship was really forced and flimsy. However, once that is out of the way, this was a fun enough book.
Although, my standards have become very low this month. I have been doing a vampire-themed reading challenge for the month and have read a LOT of crappy vampire books. Comparatively, this was a breath of fresh air because it was actually readable.
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This is about a vampire rock group who are famous. One of the vampires is sick of it all and wants to quit. Another of the vamps in the group makes a deal with him that they will all quit if only bored-vamp falls in love with a human for a year. Call me crazy, but WTF? That has to be one of the stupidest set-ups for a fake relationship I have ever read.
So, of course he gets a straight guy to fake marry him..... because of reasons. And, they do what we all expect. Which makes me think - just how low is the average straight man's sales resistance? Because, according to my research - gay romance books - they seem to be just one fake relationship away from becoming gay at any time. Is this the real reason that car salesmen ignore the woman and only speak to the guy when a couple buys a car? They know he is an easier sale? Plus there is the added benefit of maybe convincing him to become their lover too. A lot of guys seem willing to do a hella lot to say they got a good deal on their new car.
[image] Power couple in the making! (although I'd prefer a Doug Judy/Jake Peralta deal more)
Anyhoo, bad premise aside, I liked the two main characters a lot and wouldn't mind reading more in the series. Except, vampire month is almost over. Thank god! ...more
All the OG's remember the tragedy that was the Sookie Stackhouse series. Remember how the last book or so was obviously a contract obligation on the aAll the OG's remember the tragedy that was the Sookie Stackhouse series. Remember how the last book or so was obviously a contract obligation on the author's part and no longer a passion project? I mean, Sam? WTF?
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Well, this book struggled with the same problem. Everything that was great about the series died here. We should have a moment of silence for the humor, chemistry, and excitement first.
[image] okay, a little dramatic, but I'll allow it.
David is a human sorcerer who has been in the book since the beginning. He had an elf fall in love with him at first sight for ... reasons...? We are assured that David doesn't want to be thought of as the boring and predictable pencil pusher that he is and that the elf will bring him out of that role. Um. No. The elf just tried to become more boring and predictable to match up with David. Plus, here's a big problem - not once in the book are we told what elf-dude looks like. I know he was described in the last book, but hey, I only have so many slots on my KU books. I have to delete a lot. Just tell me again, dammit!
[image] Cuz, this is where my mind goes. A lot of things, but sexy ain't one of them.
Another huge missing element was the humor. Where did it go? David is so boring that humor just isn't a thing here? That is absolutely NOT acceptable in JillyLand.
The final nail in the coffin was how much of the action happened "off page". There were weird time jumps that would have explanations of what had happened in that time - but they were big events. We should have seen it, not read a recap about it. In this we get that rare first-person account of the guy who was at the wrong bank while the rest of his gang did the heist. Why?
I truly think this book was written just to wrap up the series and leave a trail for the next one. It never engaged me like the previous books did. It was just as exciting and fun as going to the wrong bank.
This book was a problem for me. Do I love the MC's enough to make up for this shitty shitty trope?
[image] Maybe.
It's set in our world, which makes probThis book was a problem for me. Do I love the MC's enough to make up for this shitty shitty trope?
[image] Maybe.
It's set in our world, which makes problems for the story because there has to be some realism mixed in with the fantasy. So, when there is this race of elves divided into two families that work together to fight monsters all over the world... you just know the internet is going to be onto it. I mean, come on.
[image] Thy name is Google. Bow down peasants. (But make sure to take a break every once in a while for your posture or you'll get a hump.)
Our MC's are from the two families and are supposed to be mortal enemies forever. For reasons. The fact that the reasons aren't reasons at all is a problem. A problem that no normal person in this century would accept. And, let's face it, if your parents tell you to stay away from a certain person that you like, doesn't that make them just a bit more interesting?
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Also, the job of monster-fighting is not explained well at all. How the monsters come to earth was pretty weak, and the "why" of it was nonexistent.
The saving grace of the book was the main character, Jude, who was raised human so he does do some questioning. Then he opens his mouth and is a funny smartass. *hallelujah!* Jude completely makes this book. He is smart, funny, and totally shakes things up. (The fact that he falls in love with our other MC within two meetings and is less than a week past his break-up with a cheating ex.... is something we will ignore for the sake of the gloriousness of Jude.)
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Then, to give even more goodness to a story that I might have hated, we get a troll named Royal. He loves bunnies and I loved him. He is everything good and pure. *heart emoji*
Overall it evened out for me. I rolled my eyes several times but then laughed at Jude or awed at Royal. So.....more
I've been in the mood for fluffy magic and fantasy lately, so when I found this series with a bunch of books by different authors set in the same worlI've been in the mood for fluffy magic and fantasy lately, so when I found this series with a bunch of books by different authors set in the same world for free on KU??
[image] Consider me intrigued...
This one was better than the last few I've read. Meaning, there was character development and a decent storyline. Believe me, that can be rarer than a unicorn sometimes. But not this time! The unicorn is totally here!
[image] Ain't no party like a unicorn party...
So we have Ryan, a goth witch with an evil family. He goes to the Ren Fest because he wants to wear his floral crown on his head and dance the Fairy Dance with people in bad cosplay outfits.
Then we have Leo, a hot shifter who is a ray of goodness and sunshine and everything magical. He's not wearing a floral crown, but has a moonshine business at the festival along with his bff Death.
[image] You're not the boss of me.... Or of this author!
It's lust at first sight, but there are secrets between them. And I say, so what? Who doesn't have a few secrets from the hubs? He doesn't need to know everything. Sheesh! So what if I spend more on Amazon purchases than he knows about? So what if I have a secret stash of chocolate? So what if I have a giant ranch in a secret location with all of my book-boyfriend lovers? A little mystery and intrigue keep a marriage fresh. That's what my book boyfriends told me. They give remarkably good advice.
Anyway, this book was fun and I adored Leo. He's totally going to the ranch after I kidnap him. Ryan was a bit of a Debbie Downer, so he can stay behind. Go cry alone, Goth Boy!
Oh book, where have you been all my life? I'm so giddy with excitement and fan-girling that I don't even know where to start!
Okay, deep breath. This is Oh book, where have you been all my life? I'm so giddy with excitement and fan-girling that I don't even know where to start!
Okay, deep breath. This is a fantasy book where some unsuspecting average guy, Nix, gets accosted at McDonalds by a magic-man named Bjorn Tisticle who informs him that he is the savior of the world. You know, your typical McDonald's experience.
[image] That gun came in his Happy Meal. 'murica!
Then, to make things worse, he gets stabbed in the cheeseburger by his mailman and then magically sent off to a magic realm to find his magical "guardian" to help him save the world.
Now, I don't know what was in that milkshake but I'll have one of what he had.
[image] Wait, the ice cream machine was working? This really is a magical story!
The guardian he meets, Alastair, is the most OTT ridiculously unaware narcissist to ever grace the pages of a book. And I love him with all my heart. He is comedy gold, Jerry!
The two of them end up going between worlds as they run for their lives, fuck shit up, and maybe try to defeat the evil that is Nix's grandmother.
I stare at Alastair in disbelief. "Were you just trying to send my grandma off to magic jail?" Why didn't I think of that? Shit, I mean.... how dare he!
The side-characters, and even the people they meet are equally hilarious in their own ways. There wasn't a single character in this book that wasn't highly entertaining.
"What about you? What can you do?"
"I'm half centaur and half minotaur... I just got the human parts of both halves. My feet are really hairy though."
Uhhh... "That's... really neat," I say, not sure if it is or not.
I'm a little unsure on how I felt about this book. I think it is edging towards my knowledge, or desire to read, certain tropes. Like, is this consideI'm a little unsure on how I felt about this book. I think it is edging towards my knowledge, or desire to read, certain tropes. Like, is this considered a hurt/comfort book? Plus, the age gap and power gap was uncomfortable. And, then there were some kinks that I'm not into being talked about or touched on and I was nervous that it was going down that road - but it didn't.
[image] I feel ya, Genie. I keep adding to my "hell no" list because people are the worst.
On the other hand I was interested in the world and pack dynamics. I really like the young hero, Kai, and many of the side characters. The other hero, Rick, was kinda a dick. Too alpha for me. He growled and lost his temper way too much. He needed a good bop in the nose with a rolled up newspaper or whatever.
[image] Step off, Rick, you presumptive assclown.
So, conflicted. Am I reading the next one? You know the answer to that.
I actually liked this a little more than the first book because the "big strong alpha" was the type I like. You know, super strong and protective, butI actually liked this a little more than the first book because the "big strong alpha" was the type I like. You know, super strong and protective, but not controlling. Plus, he is a tiger shifter and how cool are tigers?
[image] not you.
So this book was a continuation of the last one with the Kincaid Pack having a lot of enemies, but one that they can't pinpoint who seems to be pulling the strings of the others. In other words - everyone wants to kill them. So, this is just one other group that tries.
Yeah, good luck with that. They have a fucking tiger! [image] He must have smelled her Frosted Flakes from breakfast. Tigers be badasses! ...more
A cute romance set in the world of Angel Salvatore - so you know what that means? Yes, our favorite tiny dragon makes an appearance!
[image] Not you.
In A cute romance set in the world of Angel Salvatore - so you know what that means? Yes, our favorite tiny dragon makes an appearance!
[image] Not you.
In this book we have Rael, a human/shifter hybrid who can't shift, who has been in love with an alpha in his pack forever. The alpha, Jameson, steps in when their pack alpha tries to kick Rael out of the pack for being too human and says he will mate with him. Of course, there is then a romance, and magic, and attempted murder. You know, like the usual stuff when it comes to dating.
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I liked both of the guys, even though Rael was a little timid and young for me. He's not worthy of book-boyfriend status, but maybe he could be a junior member someday. I am also happy that this is the start to a new series that will be set in the same world because I really love all of the characters in the original series.
Oh yes, finally more info on the mysterious Bran - but not enough, of course. I know the author was upset with us for our reaction to the last book inOh yes, finally more info on the mysterious Bran - but not enough, of course. I know the author was upset with us for our reaction to the last book in this series because, until then, we had all been a little in awe of him. She wanted to let us know that Bran isn't a good guy or hero. But, I like the occasional villain so we'll see how this all plays out.
So the book is about Charles and Anna looking for an entire town's worth of people who disappeared. They are comparing the situation to Roanoke which is a story I always found intriguing. They start digging around and find a whole lot of witches. Ugh. Not my favorite. The witches in these books aren't fun at all. Serious jerks.
[image] Although, I like this girl. We should hang out.
The monster that they encounter during all of this is a pretty creepy guy. He will give power, but there is a price. And the price is pretty yuck. And I just have to say - don't you know by now that when something magical offers you a bargain you should NOT take it? I mean, sheesh, how dumb can you be?
[image] Not sure if this guy is smart or dumb.
The very beginning of the book was slow for me but once it hit its stride I couldn't put it down. And the ending? Omg. So much cliffhanger stuff! It's going to suck waiting - again....more
Ever eat a strange combo and it just works for some reason? That is this book. The mythologies mixology is insane. There is Greek, Norse, Aztec, EgyptEver eat a strange combo and it just works for some reason? That is this book. The mythologies mixology is insane. There is Greek, Norse, Aztec, Egyptian, and Mexican in this book. Add to that a gay romance (although the magic wars take 98% of the book), and you have a really awesome mix.
[image] Haha. Now kiss! You know you want to.
Our heroes are Patrick, a mage, and Jono, a werewolf. They are soulbonded, which means, whatever. You wanna give a less smaltzy tag than soulmate? Fine. Doesn't matter. There is a overarching story that I'm sure will continue throughout the series of a bad mage who is trying to steal the souls of mythological gods to get their power. Pat and Jono are supposed to stop the guy, but he's like The Simpsons - won't go away, not getting any better.
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In this book they have to deal with vampires because Pat is a dumbass who makes such bad life decisions that every character he meets calls him on it. The guy has the survival instincts of a lemming. But, on the plus side he also has a lot of power at his disposal between help from the gods , his own magic, and powerful allies. He should have no problem defeating ancient vampires and gods of death, right?
I spoiled myself a little before reading this because at the beginning of the book there was a warning about a rape scene. I wanted to decide whether I could deal with reading it before starting. (view spoiler)[ So, let me assure you that I am pretty sensitive to gratuitous rape scenes in books and this one didn't trigger me. It was brief, and not as bad as it could have been. More like an Uncle Chester the molester bad-touching than a full-on rape scene. I don't know if that helps or makes it worse for some. For me it was worse anticipating the rape than the paragraph of molestation that was easy enough to skim. Gah, if this is insensitive of me, I apologize, because I am just trying to alleviate fears and concerns not make them worse or say something that upsets someone. Let's just say that as a woman who has lived in this world for a long time this type of thing was tamer than life-experiences for most of us. Sorry. It sucks, but is true. (hide spoiler)]
Anyway, back to non-serious. I am with a lot of reviewers when I say that I find one bad boy, Lucien, very intriguing. I want more of him. I want a book for him. I feel like I could tame his bad-boy ways. He just needs a middle-aged housewife to tame his evil ways. What the fuck is wrong with me? My therapist will quit after our next meeting.
[image] Maybe the Simpsons IS still relevant.... nah.
But, my furniture salesman took a psych class once. He's qualified. Also, he got me a great deal on a couch that I lay around on all day while eating crap, drinking, chewing an edible, and reading smut on my kindle. See? Mental health all the way!
So, off to the next book. My therapist recommends it!...more
There is such a crazy mix of mythologies and magic going on in this book that I have no desire to explain it. It was fun and super fast paced with theThere is such a crazy mix of mythologies and magic going on in this book that I have no desire to explain it. It was fun and super fast paced with the focus on magic fighting more than the romance. If you like to go to the soda machine and pour a little of each flavor in there, this is for you.
[image] I can guarantee that the book is better than this atrocity....more
If there is one thing we have learned in fiction it's that powerful vampires who are thousands of years old will always fall hopelessly in love with tIf there is one thing we have learned in fiction it's that powerful vampires who are thousands of years old will always fall hopelessly in love with the youngest person in the room. A little pervy? Yes. But adorable? Also yes.
[image] Well. Not always. Never, in the history of womankind has a girl wanted to be called a spider monkey. At 900 years old you would think he would have figured that out.
I think it's the fact that the younger ones are less impressed by them. Let's face it, it doesn't come naturally for a 20 year old to defer to the wisdom of age and power. They can bring the snark like no one else.
Isaac, after being startled, once again, by the silent stalking of the most powerful, lethal vampire king:
"you're getting a bell, just like a housecat. A cute one, sky blue, with little plastic rhinestones on it and a tag that says PITA."
I also like that Constantine was fine with that as long as the diamonds are real because there is "nothing so tawdry as rhinestones." And, as a girl who likes shiny stuff and has nails painted in glitter and leopard glitter print right now, just call me a:
[image] *dancing badly right now* *husband telling me to stop, for the love of all that is holy* *trying to revenge-twerk at him* *hurt my back, going to lay down*
I liked this book because the characters of Isaac and Constantine in no way resembled Angel and Simeon. They were totally separate people with different personalities. Angel is a hothead who charges head first into situations. Isaac is a broken person with anxiety attacks, addiction, and guilt that makes him super cautious and more of person who stays in the background instead of a fighter. Simeon is a respectful second to his master, Constantine, whereas Constantine is arrogant and in charge. Way different dynamics in the two relationships, and I appreciate that the author was able to achieve that.
There was slightly less action in this book than in the one before it but that was okay with me. We got to see the relationship building more without a gazillion fight scenes.
Now I am looking forward to the sorcerers apprentice and the fae royalty that is coming next....more
Look, if you can't be entertained by a book that has a mini dragon that is in a war with the pigeon population then you have problems that I really caLook, if you can't be entertained by a book that has a mini dragon that is in a war with the pigeon population then you have problems that I really can't help you with.
[image] The victors eat the losers!
So, Angel is a necromancer who has become way more powerful now that he is bonded with a vampire because of the necromancy that make a vamp a living corpse. He is such a badass now that the elusive council that supposedly rules sorcerers have decided to come to America to capture and use him for his powers have a chat. It goes about how you would expect.
[image] Ha! They thought cute little Angel wouldn't be a problem. Think again, buckos!
There is one thing to be said for this series for sure: there is a hella lot going on at all times. You will never be bored, so that's a plus, but it will also maybe make you appreciate your pandemic lifestyle because just following along with these guys is tiring. They would really benefit from a 2-week quarantine like we have since last year.
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And get fat. Anyone out there who hasn't gained the Quarantine 15? I mean, you may not have noticed with the pandemic uniform of stretchy pants, but....yeah. it's there.
So there is a lot going on and it never gets boring. Also, the side characters are super intriguing. I am literally (not literally) excited for books on the other couples that are developing.
The only downside to this series is that there is a little too many explanations for things that you pretty much know if you've read this far. It's like someone mansplaining your period to you.
Much like in a loaf of packaged bread, the second one is much better than the first. Oh, you all know what I mean. That first slice of bread in the paMuch like in a loaf of packaged bread, the second one is much better than the first. Oh, you all know what I mean. That first slice of bread in the package is pawed at by every person in the house as they pick out the slices below it.
[image] Exactly. Because you know your park's pond is in need of pounds of shitty bread covered in kid germs and algae.
Our story continues with Angel (Bob) and Simeon (Simon). They are now in love and living together with a couple of slackers and a maybe-dragon. Domestic bliss. Except someone is killing people and taking their hearts. Rude. Angel is trying to help the police find this serial killer. At the same time he is dealing with a bad-touch doctor/stalker, a crazy ex, a crazier sorcerer, and Christmas shopping. Christmas shopping that isn't online! Like a freak. Even before the rona I learned that there is no way my ass is ever stepping into a mall again during holiday season. Or ever, really. Let's cancel malls. We can do that now, right? Cancel whatever we want. I love cancel culture!!! I just want to cancel the hell out of everything that annoys me. I'm looking at you Kroger commercials with those creepy fatass dancing animation things. Nobody likes them!!
[image] Stop this now. There is not a human on earth that likes these ads. I even found a subreddit hate group for them. They are the first bread in the loaf. No one wants them. Not even ducks, and those bastards aren't known for their pickiness. (It's the raping. Ducks are known for their raping. Yet they still have the good taste to hate these commercials.)
So, yeah, there is a lot of story going on, but I liked that. Keep things moving fast, baby. Mama gets bored easily. There was also good character building for some of the side characters and I am looking forward to some of their stories....more
It was a good start, even though there were some rocky moments. The world of magic is cool and interesting. Demons are actually space aliens, magical It was a good start, even though there were some rocky moments. The world of magic is cool and interesting. Demons are actually space aliens, magical creatures have blood that poisons vampires, and our hero is a powerful necromancer.
[image] Oh, I'm invited to the necromancer party? Um, I think I'm busy that day. Oh, you didn't tell me what day it is? Yeah, well... oh, that's my phone. Gotta go! It's on vibrate.
Dodged that bullet. Okay, so our hero is named Angel and that was hard for me because I didn't want to pronounce it in my head as angel - like a celestial being. But, I feel like a tool when I use a name with a fake accent like an-hell, which is how I'm pretty sure it should be pronounced. Why couldn't his name just be Bob. Nobody, I mean nobody mispronounces Bob.
[image] See? Everyone read that without any problem pronouncing Bob's name. Be like Bob's mom.
Angel has an agreement to live in peace with the local vampire group and he sometimes helps them with magic issues. The book starts with him going to help because his brother's dumbass friend decided to rob the most powerful ancient vampires in the city. Yeah, dumbass. When Angel goes to fix the situation he runs across his vampire love-interest, Simeon. Why not just name him Simon? Because Angel's name isn't Bob. I personally would have been fine with Bob and Simon, but nobody asked me. People really should ask me before naming things. I rock at it. I had a bunny named Commander Bun Bun and a dog named Mr. Fluffy Pants. See? Rockin' it!
[image] I should get a llama.
As things go on we realize that Bob and Simon have the feelings for each other and it's pretty adorable. We also realize that Bob's life is in danger. Probably because someone took offense at having to pronounce his name with a douchy accent. So, you know - justified! After this we are unraveling the mystery of who hates Bob's name. It was fun!
[image] Ooh, I see. It's the guy who has to pick up the cones. He totally did it!
The reason I didn't give it all the stars was because there was a little too much redundancy in explaining the magic of this world. It really only needed to be explained once for most of us to get it. Twice was a little much. And, the amount of times it was done in this book was overkill. It needed a good editing pen to go through it. However, it is a first book. I give a lot of leeway for that and my skimming skills are good so it wasn't too bad. Overall it was worth a little too much infodumping and I look forward to continuing the series....more
Now that that's out of my system. So, this is the third book in a series that absolutely has to be read sequentially It can't end like that!!!!!
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Now that that's out of my system. So, this is the third book in a series that absolutely has to be read sequentially because there is major shit going down. And, just as the major shit gets going....
Deep breath. Wait, when is the next book coming?
I guess I'll write about the book. Not that it completely fulfilled me... I mean, just leave me wanting and all...
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So, our heroes with alternating POV's is Alistair, a hellhound, and Aiden, a feline shifter who is the leader of all of the shifters. They are looking for Mr. Bad Guy. Well, he's a doctor so Doctor Bad Guy. (College is hard - props to the evil doctor).
What they find is a plot or scheme if you will, that is so diabolical that life as we know it will be destroyed for all eternity if they succeed. Not to be dramatic or anything.
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The romance was cute, but secondary to the big picture that has been unfolding. Alistair is a hilarious character. I like when he decides to start calling Aiden his "lover" and then proceeds to use that term waaaay more than necessary - meaning more than zero times which is how often that term should be used. Ever. .... On the other hand... that sounds like good fodder for making the hubs uncomfortable and creeped out. Hmm... I shall call him that from now on.
[image] Ooooh, creepy AF!! I love it! I'm a great wife.
I know I said I would tell you about the book, but it's really complicated at this point. And, I'm kinda lazy. So...read the first two and then this one. There. Fixed it.
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