As I am embarking on my journey to becoming a parent of two, this was an invaluable read. A perfect mix of personal memoir with a well-researched lookAs I am embarking on my journey to becoming a parent of two, this was an invaluable read. A perfect mix of personal memoir with a well-researched look into studies on the subject of motherhood, this book provided compassion, reassurance, and scientific evidence on the outdated ways of thinking on which American society has been operating. She delves into the various subjective studies performed in order to study the role a mother plays in a baby's life, most of which were done by men who spent little to no time with their own children. Many of these theories have stuck around, still plaguing the minds of mothers today with misguided and inaccurate ideas of what motherhood should look like. The needs, desires, and even basic health of mothers are often not made a priority or even acknowledged. Reddy pokes necessary holes in the conclusions that are drawn in regards to what babies need in order to develop into healthy and well-adjusted adults.
Reading about the author's own struggles and feelings of inadequacy painted an evocative picture of how prevalent and problematic the good mother myth has become in American culture. Each chapter was incredibly informative and readable, providing valuable insight into how hard mothers are on themselves and the joy they are missing out on because of it.
So many of Reddy's struggles were things that I grappled with my firstborn including the challenges of breastfeeding and pumping, not feeling bonded or maternal towards my child, and the feelings of immense guilt when desiring to return to the workplace instead of caring for my baby full time.
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC....more
I was sent a physical copy of this ARC from the publisher, unsolicited. I'm not sure if I would have picked up this book otherwise, but I am so glad tI was sent a physical copy of this ARC from the publisher, unsolicited. I'm not sure if I would have picked up this book otherwise, but I am so glad that I did. Susan tells the story of her immigrant family, how they escaped Communist China during the war, lived in Vietnam for several generations, and the precarious journey that brought them to America. Susan is desperate to learn more about her mother, with whom she had a complicated relationship that was cut short when her mother died from a botched tummy tuck. In this process, she learns a lot more about her family's history and her own personal traumas.
Many of her experiences and thoughts were particularly relatable for me, which I wasn't initially expecting. It was an enlightening and well-written memoir.
I came into this book expecting a story of a daughter attempting to solve the mysterious murder of her mother many decades ago, but this memoir providI came into this book expecting a story of a daughter attempting to solve the mysterious murder of her mother many decades ago, but this memoir provided so much more than that. Ervin writes with such eloquence and self-awareness, delving into her younger life before and after the heinous crime was committed. She imagines how different her life would have been had her mother been not been killed and the complicated aftermath that followed in her own life and the community around her. She yearns for a connection to her mother and draws many threads between them, both real and imaginary.
Ervin also examines the yearning that society has placed in young women to be desired by men, particularly older men. This predilection can turn into a dangerous and futile endeavor for a sense of control, one that can be stripped away at any moment. She shares her own personal accounts and connects it to the violent and sexual crime committed against her mother. Reading these words prompted me to reevaluate a particular interaction that I had as a teenager that seemed innocuous and where I felt in control because I was the object of desire, but now looking at it through a different lens, I can see the truth of its damaging nature.
In these pages, she bares her entire soul, thing that are so intimate and raw that seem too personal to share on such a public forum. I admire her courage and her willingness to reveal so much of herself to the world. ...more
When your husband is prematurely taken from you in the most unexpected way, how do you go on? Amy Lin details her immense, soul-crushing grief after hWhen your husband is prematurely taken from you in the most unexpected way, how do you go on? Amy Lin details her immense, soul-crushing grief after her husband's death, allowing the reader to see inside of her heavy, desolate heartbreak. When tragic events like this take place, it is something that stays with a person forever, in one form or another.
This memoir is her way of processing her emotions after the unthinkable has happened and attempting to go on living, even when she feels utterly alone. I applaud her immense strength and perseverance....more
This book is a combination of a thorough history of the study of genetics as a role in developing cancer with the personal tragedies the author's famiThis book is a combination of a thorough history of the study of genetics as a role in developing cancer with the personal tragedies the author's family has suffered, with an exorbitant number of cancer diagnoses at a very young age. There is much more scientific vernacular than I expected, which I was able to comprehend because of my scientific background in biology and currently working for a biopharma company, but that may not be the case for all readers of memoirs.
The story is a riveting one, and it details the significant progress that has been made in this field in a compelling narrative fashion. We learn about the role of heredity, the search for specific gene mutations, and the advances made in treatment for cancer patients. The author also weaves in stories about his immediate family and the ways this particular gene mutation has greatly affected their lives. It is a beautiful depiction of his family story as well as a profoundly informative and well-researched account of cancer research.
Thanks to NetGalley and Henry Holt & Co. for the ARC....more
This is an incredibly impressive debut - well-written, perfectly paced, and full of humor and heart. I don't have personal experience with the foster This is an incredibly impressive debut - well-written, perfectly paced, and full of humor and heart. I don't have personal experience with the foster system but I have heard about many of the difficulties associated with fostering a child, such as dealing with past traumas and the possibility of reunification with the birth family. This memoir articulately depicts the path that the author and his husband takes in order to bring children into their loving family. Mark stole my heart from the very first page, and I so hoped that things turned out for the best for his amazing family.
Within the storytelling, Mark also delves deeply into many of the problematic statistics surrounding children in foster care. He addresses the innumerable problems that are associated with child welfare, including the overworked employees, the socioeconomic and racial biases, and the lack of standardization for what determines a fit parent. He expresses his mixed feelings of reunification with the birth family evocatively - a consistent worry that every foster parent looking to adopt must endure.
This compelling memoir was perfectly balanced between sharing their personal story and providing the reader with context about the pervasive issues plaguing the foster system. I was so invested in their story and it also taught gave me tremendous insight into the challenges faced by the different people involved in the foster care system. This is a story that truly spoke to my heart and deserves a wide audience.
Thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for my ARC....more
Britney Spears is a pop icon. Her CD was the first one I ever purchased, and I spend many hours singing her songs, entire albums front to back. She waBritney Spears is a pop icon. Her CD was the first one I ever purchased, and I spend many hours singing her songs, entire albums front to back. She was a music and fashion role model in my most formative years, but her life and career has been a series of extreme ups and downs.
This memoir allows us to see what really happened behind the scenes, when the media talked about her crazy antics and then her disappearance from the public eye for many years. Britney's natural ability to sing, dance, and perform made her a star instantly. But the combination of her mental struggles, personal relationship issues, and the abuse she suffered from her parents did not allow her to maintain her career trajectory. She often sounds much younger than she is, probably due largely to the fact that she was treated like a child and her maturity was stunted by the mistreatment she endured. The abhorrent way Britney was treated and used by the people who were supposed to love her the most was so sad to read about. She was virtually imprisoned for 13 years, making money for terrible people who controlled her every move. If she had better people in her life, who knows what would have happened?
Her writing style is much more conversational than literary, which is to be expected for celebrity memoirs. But most importantly, the words sound like her voice, and her story is one that desperately needs to be told, after being silenced for so long. She is an amazing artist and mother, and she deserves all the happiness....more
Wow, this book spoke to me in a totally unexpected way. I am incredibly impressed by the coherent way she told her story, linking the narrative with rWow, this book spoke to me in a totally unexpected way. I am incredibly impressed by the coherent way she told her story, linking the narrative with relevant stories and expressing true vulnerability. It's evident she has done a lot of self-work and gained valuable insight into why she felt the way she did in many pivotal moments. The way she conveys her inner dialogue and how she processes negative self-talk really taps into the challenges of insecurities as a woman and the journey of figuring out her own identity.
I was introduced to this author and her memoir when she was a guest on the Dear Shandy podcast. Even though she shares many stories on the show, I still felt compelled to read her book, and it was even better than I expected. She does not use her experiences to paint open relationships in a binary good or bad light. She brings nuance and context, and she identifies many different roads that can be taken, depending on your specific relationship dynamics and stage of life. She also highlights the complexities that an open relationship brings and the potential obstacles that must be overcome for it to remain sustainable.
Although her experiences were difficult, she learned tremendous amounts about herself and her needs, without relying on others to make her feel worthy. It did feel like her primary relationship very much took a backseat during her period of exploration, which can cause a lot of instability and feelings of resentment. When additional people are added to a relationship dynamic, it inevitably leads to more variables to consider and more potential for conflict.
(view spoiler)[At the end of the book, Emily comes full circle. The sheer exhaustion of processing difficult emotions and the time commitment required in having 3 partners come to a head, and she decides to focus only on her relationship with Jordan. (hide spoiler)] Ultimately, this is a story not about her relationships but about discovering herself and coming to terms with who she is. ...more
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