when a book i recognize is discounted at my favorite bookstore, that's a signwhen a book i recognize is discounted at my favorite bookstore, that's a sign...more
that's right. it may have been several months. the book in question may be several reasonably sized classics welcome to...THE COMPLETE CLAU(GUST)DINE.
that's right. it may have been several months. the book in question may be several reasonably sized classics bound together. the pun may be worse than ever.
but it's another PROJECT LONG CLASSIC installment. (this is when i read a set amount of a long and intimidating book every day for a month, like a coward, and also the smartest girl in the world.)
as mentioned, this book is actually 4 books, and because of that i am far too lazy to go through and count the number of chapters in each one and divide accordingly. so i will be reading 20ish pages a day.
i love being optimistic (buying long books as if i'll ever read them) and being rewarded.
let's get into it.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 1 i have actually already read the complete short works of colette in another of my devilish little projects, and another of her normal books in one of my normal reading experiences, so i am feeling excited. and ready. and intimidated. and like i already want a baguette.
that was fun!!
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 2 i could not have possibly imagined how sapphic this book would turn out to be. i am refusing to read critically. this is the best.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 3 this is soooo jane austen emma coded...heavenly.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 4 thank god i was too lazy to divide this into chapters. i just hit the end of the first one. ON THE EIGHTIETH PAGE.
oh, the humanity.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 5 took the weekend off because i'm evil and there is no way today is catch-up day.
claudine's opinions are infallible to me at this point. i love a mean girl more than my own life.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 6 i can relate to claudine, as a girl who also went on a class trip to a city in france and was trapped in her shared hotel room by the teacher-chaperone following a perceived wrongdoing.
i did not manage to escape, though. in spite of some discussion of walking across some decorative windowsills outside like a heist movie.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 7 no matter how much time passes, standardized exams don't change. this whole section was like the old-timey french equivalent of when you'd go on twitter after AP exams to look at the memes.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 8 probably i will think of the phrase "that bitch of an Anaïs" for all my days.
and we are officially caught up!!!
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 9 and just when you think this book can't get any more perfect, there's a boob joke. this was made in a lab. a pretty french lab.
CLAUDINE AT SCHOOL, DAY 10 and thus we conclude our time with claudine at school how we spent it: with sex rumors, drama, insults, and pretty dresses.
i'm going to miss this cast of characters! but claudine will find more people to make fun of and it'll be all the same to me.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 1 claudine has just tragically informed us her hair has been cut to below her ears, and i am mourning the occasion like a character died.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 2 our titular girl spending a paragraph bemoaning the fact that she had to leave her friend back at school, suffering, and couldn't bring her to paris...and then ending the paragraph with (besides, I didn't want to).
greatest there ever was.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 3 suddenly chapters are now only a few pages long, as if we're in a normal classic rather than a hundred-page-section hellscape of demonic creation.
paris changed you, claudine.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 4 eating chocolate and making herself feel sad and nostalgic over bygone times she didn't actually enjoy while she was in them...she's just like me fr.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 5 reunited and it feels so good!!!
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 6 not if you gave me a thousand guesses would i be able to uncover the half of this luce reveal. good lord. i am growing nervous about the looming end of this book — we haven't the time to resolve half of this!!!
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 7 oh, no...no no no...
i've been afraid of a certain outcome since approximately day 3 and i am ready to call it. i don't think we're getting out of this one alive. welcome to the worst case scenario, claudine stans.
old-timey kinda-incest.
CLAUDINE IN PARIS, DAY 8 for the first time, this statement brings me no joy to say:
i was right.
but this was worse than i ever could have anticipated...claudine should be unmarried and mean and beating children up forever. and if she absolutely had to get married, it shouldn't be to some guy she sees AS A FATHER!!! good lord in heaven.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 1 had to take a rare day off from this project due to the sincere trauma of claudine marrying some old guy because she wants a daddy...only to be greeted with the renewed suffering of having to read about said elder swiping the v-card. sheesh.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 2 WE'RE BACK AT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! and we are caught up! and my tarnished soul is healed.
for now.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 3 donate to my gofundme: Raise Money For Claudine To Annul Her Marriage, Find Her Cast Of Characters And Move Back To Montigny For A Lifetime Of Sexually Charged Bullying.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 4 oh thank god. we have a replacement luce.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 5 i hate when people say "i could write a 40 page dissertation on this," but...i could straight up write a 40 page dissertation on gender in claudine.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 6 in many ways this book is just about getting the ick.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 7 i will set the whole of fictional old-timey paris ablaze. i will hunt down rezi and renaud. i will hunt down claudine too if she ever so much as dares to leave montigny again.
it's like "only bad things happen in philadelphia" but only bad things happen when claudine leaves montigny.
CLAUDINE MARRIED, DAY 8 well, the unthinkable has happened: for the first time in my life, i have been proven wrong.
it seems bad things can happen even with claudine safely staying in montigny.
i hate you, renaud. you big old freak.
CLAUDINE AND ANNIE, DAY 1 who the hell is annie.
at one point claudine is referred to as "colette"...i stan these even harder for the confirmation that colette wrote the coolest funniest girl in the world as a self-insert character.
CLAUDINE AND ANNIE, DAY 2 if this isn't a luce situation i'm going to lose interest fast.
or i guess lose it permanently. i'm already not interested.
CLAUDINE AND ANNIE, DAY 3 overall this book has the feeling of the weird anne of green gables books that were about other characters and written out of order. this is not what i wanted!!! you are tainting me and claudine's beautiful memories!!!
CLAUDINE AND ANNIE, DAY 4 goddamn if claudine isn't 200% more charming from her own perspective. enough of this annie girl. enough time has passed that i can't even really hold out hope she'll do something crazy.
CLAUDINE AND ANNIE, DAY 5 well. she did do the crazy thing after all.
OVERALL i love me some claudine, and while the last book was annoying and unnecessary and desperate to make me rage-lower this rating, i refuse. because the first book was perfect and the middle two weren't half bad either.
and the extremely unnecessary, redundant, and untimely reviews are in: this one is a classic for a reason!!!
this was creepy andbetter late than never.
and the extremely unnecessary, redundant, and untimely reviews are in: this one is a classic for a reason!!!
this was creepy and well-written and compelling. crazy that i'm extolling the virtues of a short story everyone was required to read at the age of 14 and a half but i was late to the party and i still wanna hop on the bandwagon.
sorry for the mixed metaphors.
bottom line: put me in sophomore year english! i'm ready now!...more
this one reminded me of school assigned reading, both in a good way (i miss discussing little books with historical coaddicted to 100 page classics!!!
this one reminded me of school assigned reading, both in a good way (i miss discussing little books with historical context and obvious themes with a group of nerds) and a bad way (wow, this felt like it was written for an audience that could've been formatted like grade ___ and above).
ultimately this complex and short and very simply written and kinda (very) corny but effective!
bottom line: a girl never forgets her first [willa cather]....more
it's been so long since i read lit fic by a man that i forgot why i read mostly female authors.
this had a lot to say and a lot going for it, but unforit's been so long since i read lit fic by a man that i forgot why i read mostly female authors.
this had a lot to say and a lot going for it, but unfortunately my reading of it was constantly distracted and brought down by the terrible female characters and the awful man-writing-lit-fic sex scenes.
sorry! i wanted to like it. i promise.
bottom line: sheesh.
------------------ pre-review
blacked out in a barnes & noble in the midst of a sale and emerged with 8 books. anyway it was the best afternoon of my life and this was one of them...more
the theme of this book seems to be "old-timey life is depressing," and i can't argue with that. if i had to go my whole can't pass up a short classic!
the theme of this book seems to be "old-timey life is depressing," and i can't argue with that. if i had to go my whole life without knowing the concept of a hot shower or an insomnia cookies franchise, i'd be upset too.
generally this is a little saccharine, but it does a good job of presenting how impossible it can be to be happy and poor. even if it does feel like the lit equivalent of an afterschool special in doing it.
bottom line: feels like assigned reading! which i, a dork, don't hate....more
haters mad because i retain a sense of childlike whimsy
there is literally nothing i would prefer to living in moomin valley and like eating a bunch ofhaters mad because i retain a sense of childlike whimsy
there is literally nothing i would prefer to living in moomin valley and like eating a bunch of picnics and hanging out at the beach and making wishes from hobgoblins.
in fact i am almost too jealous to bear reading this series.
welcome to the becoming a genius project...CHRISTMAS EDITION!
typically this project involves me picking up the collected stories of some literary titawelcome to the becoming a genius project...CHRISTMAS EDITION!
typically this project involves me picking up the collected stories of some literary titan or other and reading one of them per day with the goal of achieving true brilliance.
this is that except my goal is to get into the christmas spirit.
STORY 1: THE FIR TREE BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN incredibly apt as getting my tree yesterday is what inspired me to start this now, instead of at a normal or appropriate time like december 1.
...this was the most depressing thing i've ever read in my life. rating: 2.5
STORY 2: THE CAT ON THE DOVREFJELL BY TWO NORDIC GUYS this one is one complete page in length and about partying trolls, so. let that speak for itself.
we're back in the christmas spirit baby. rating: 3.5
STORY 3: A CHRISTMAS PARTY AND A WEDDING BY FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY it doesn't seem fair to be one (page) and done for the day, so i'm doubling up.
aaaand it's another troubling one. rating: 3
STORY 4: ST. ANTHONY AND HIS PIG BY PAUL ARENE this is a story about how even the deliciousness of truffles cannot surpass the best friendship between a man and a pig. so it turns out i'm no saint. rating: 3
STORY 5: BOYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV i've read chekhov's short stories for another installment of this project, but more importantly i make chekhov's gun jokes 100 times per day in my daily life. so i am positioned to love this.
just kidding. no one ask me what this is about. i won't have an answer and it'll just be embarrassing for both of us. rating: 3
STORY 6: MIDNIGHT MASS BY JOAQUIM MARIA MACHADO DE ASSIS this is essentially just a story of being 17 and having a crush on an older lady, and also midnight mass is kind of approaching while that's happening, incidentally. which i respect. rating: 3
STORY 7: REGINALD'S CHRISTMAS REVEL BY SAKI this is a whole story about being an annoying prankster and making a joke of the sanctity of death.
so obviously it's my favorite one so far. rating: 4
STORY 8: THE LEGEND OF THE CHRISTMAS ROSE BY SELMA LAGERLOF this is about how robbers are cooler and closer to god than monks, and also flowers are lovely and magical. two thoughts i agree with. rating: 3.5
STORY 9: A CHAPARRAL CHRISTMAS GIFT BY O. HENRY hit me with it, henry. (or i guess i should say o...?) get me to that twist.
okay, well. that felt seasonally phoned in. rating: 2.5
STORY 10: NOEL BY IRENE NEMIROVSKY i cannot stress enough that if my sister stole my rich boyfriend, unluckily pregnant or not, i would ruin christmas.
justice for marie-laure. rating: 3.5
STORY 11: DANCING DAN'S CHRISTMAS BY DAMON RUNYON the title of this one sounds like the title of a made-up story from a movie. you know what i mean?
this successfully convinced me that i cannot have a merry christmas without a hot tom and jerry, in spite of the fact that i have no idea what that is. between that and the fact that o. henry wishes he had what damon runyon has, this was swell. rating: 4
STORY 12: THE NECKLACE OF PEARLS BY DOROTHY SAYERS suddenly i kind of get the appeal of a seasonal cozy mystery. just this once. rating: 3.5
STORY 13: ONE CHRISTMAS EVE BY LANGSTON HUGHES langston!!!!!!
god this one was heartbreaking. rating: 4.5
STORY 14: THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY BY MARIO DE ANDRADE i probably would have enjoyed this story more if it were about literally any other type of meat. but nobody's family is being brought together to experience christmas joy and love for the first time because of turkey. rating: 2.5
STORY 15: GREEN HOLLY BY ELIZABETH BOWEN the unthinkable is happening: it's a saturday and i haven't entirely abandoned reading as a concept.
not particularly thrilled about it, though. rating: 3
STORY 16: CHRISTMAS MORNING BY FRANK O'CONNORwell. christmas morning is not a very magical time for childhood to end and the harsh reality of adulthood to sweep in. rating: 3
STORY 17: A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES BY DYLAN THOMAS dylan thomas alert!!! hoping this story is a little bit christmas joy-y and a little less about going gentle into that good night.
wish granted. rating: 3.5
STORY 18: THE LITTLE RESTAURANT NEAR PLACE DES TERNES BY GEORGES SIMENON a story that sounds so cute, and instead is about how it is literally better to get too drunk and arrested and throw up against a wall and spend the night in jail than to have premarital sex. rating: 2
STORY 19: THE GIFT BY RAY BRADBURY baby's first ray bradbury. some go for fahrenheit 451, but not me. i'm different.
space christmas. rating: 3
STORY 20: A VISIT TO THE BANK BY SHIRLEY JACKSON shirley jackson i love you!!! save me shirley jackson!!!
i've read her collected storiestwice over and the real christmas miracle is i hadn't read this one. rating: 5
STORY 21: THE PRISONERS BY BIENVENIDO SANTOS well, this sounds cheerful.
it was not. but it was very nice anyway. rating: 4
STORY 22: THE LEAF-SWEEPER BY MURIEL SPARK i would vote this story Least Likely To Seem Like It's Going To Be A Ghost Story When Halfway Through It. rating: 3
STORY 23: CHRISTMAS MEMORY BY TRUMAN CAPOTE do you guys think this one is also starring audrey hepburn?
jeez louise. even the nice stories in this collection find their way to tragedy. rating: 3
STORY 24: THE LOAN BY WOLFDIETRICH SCHNURRE now THIS is a story about a christmas tree that doesn't make you want to die of moroseness. rating: 3
STORY 25: CHRISTMAS EVE BY SOPHIA DE MELLO BREYNER ANDRESEN i don't want to be rude...but we're arriving in the range of "too many names."
this one was very jesus-y. rating: 2.5
STORY 26: THE LOUDEST VOICE BY GRACE PALEY i don't have anything to say about this one. sorry. rating: 2.5
STORY 27: A COLD CHRISTMAS WALK IN THE COUNTRY BY LAURIE LEE i'd like to go on a pre-huge dinner christmas walk that includes sliding across a frozen pond for upwards of an hour. suddenly i'm all "the world isn't the same as it used to be" about it. rating: 3
STORY 28: SANTA'S CHILDREN BY ITALO CALVINO not a name i expected to see in this book. but i've become accustomed to its surprises.
and THAT'S how you critique capitalism. rating: 4
STORY 29: CHRISTMAS BY TOVE JANSSON TOVE JANSSON???
there are some real emma all stars in this collection. rating: 4
STORY 30: JUST BECAUSE OF XMAS BY CYPRIAN EKWENSI we're keeping the christ out of christmas. speaking of, happy xmas eve eve! the real holiday miracle is this project being on track.
to be fair, the generosity that happens in this story is not "just because" of christmas. it's "because" our protagonist resembles the first wife of a polygamist chief who goes mad and thinks she's back from the dead. small difference. rating: 2.5
STORY 31: NOEL. TEXAS. 1956 BY LUCIA BERLIN lucia????? and tove??? and shirley??? was this made for me in a lab?
what an author selection for our penultimate. rating: 4
STORY 32: THE GHOST SHIPS BY ANGELA CARTER strong way to go out. merry christmas everyone! rating: 4
OVERALL once i accepted that these weren't going to be whimsical and joyous-spirit-inducing, and began to accept Interesting, Impressive, or Christmasy as an alternative, i started enjoying this a lot more.
of course, a good number of these weren't even that, but still. a fair number were! rating: 3.5...more
i've owned this book for 7 years and it wasn't even on my to read list. which gives an indication of how excited i am to read it
update: even anthony bi've owned this book for 7 years and it wasn't even on my to read list. which gives an indication of how excited i am to read it
update: even anthony burgess doesn't get the appeal of this one.
this is one of those books that i can see why it'd be great to assign as school required reading, but...pretty meh in adult life!
bottom line: the nicest thing i can say about this is that i'm pretty sure i would have liked it more if i was discussing it at 7:45 am with 20 miserable adolescents....more
imagine if you lived in the 1700s and this was like...the most fun book available.
screaming and crying.
so grateful to live in a time when the only reaimagine if you lived in the 1700s and this was like...the most fun book available.
screaming and crying.
so grateful to live in a time when the only reason i read this book is because its cover is pretty, and not because i live a life of suffering and no running water and my idea of a raging good time is...this.
deciding to read a classic because i found the penguin clothbound edition on sale again.
works every time.
this, again, like so many classics, made me deciding to read a classic because i found the penguin clothbound edition on sale again.
works every time.
this, again, like so many classics, made me so grateful that i live NOW and not in a time when everything i read would be somewhere on the spectrum of boring, not to mention incredibly holy...
but this was pretty!
bottom line: i love being a 21st century reader, but this would have been top tier for 1600s me.
i honestly don't know how anyone considers themselves well-read. there is just so much to read.
this one was on my mental tbr for years, and i still doi honestly don't know how anyone considers themselves well-read. there is just so much to read.
this one was on my mental tbr for years, and i still don't feel any closer to well-read for having picked it up. but i do feel glad i did.
the depiction of family, love, bloodlines, sorrow, magic, mortality, hatred, bigotry, politics, uprising, poverty, wealth, power here...wow!
there were moments where this lost me, but it almost immediately won me back every time. this was poetic and somehow measured even in its dramatics.
what will stay with me especially is the way that this conveyed how you can love those you don't understand, and in that way understand them...how gorgeous. if more people were able to see past the worst parts of each other it'd be a better world.
bottom line: a book you better yourself by reading....more
ursula doing more in 30 pages than some are doing in 336...
also has anyone noticed how many books have 336 pages? 336 and 368 appear to be where it's ursula doing more in 30 pages than some are doing in 336...
also has anyone noticed how many books have 336 pages? 336 and 368 appear to be where it's at.
anyway, this story is powerful and reference-able and one of those things that just everyone should read in their lifetimes because it's perfect to have and know about.
imagine if lolita was written by dolores and also it was autobiographical.
goodness gracious.
this is a very beautifully written and, as you'd expect, vimagine if lolita was written by dolores and also it was autobiographical.
goodness gracious.
this is a very beautifully written and, as you'd expect, very disturbing book. at times it feels confusing and even surreal, which is ultimately an effective storytelling mechanism when you consider the content, even if and maybe because it makes it difficult to read.
bottom line: sheesh.
------------------ currently-reading updates
reading this on the train in an attempt to be the most interesting girl on board...more
as you all know, i'm: a) addicted to projects (and my book club, my long classics project, and my genius prwelcome to: THE PENGUIN GREAT IDEAS PROJECT!
as you all know, i'm: a) addicted to projects (and my book club, my long classics project, and my genius project are all on pause) b) mildly behind on my reading challenge (see: months-long reading slump and corresponding existential crisis) c) very into short books that make me look smart (much like the penguin great ideas collection).
i have acquired a couple dozen penguin great ideas installments, and i will be attempting to read one a day until i get bored, catch up, or reach spiritual fulfillment!
i was nervous to read this, as both a huge oscar wilde fan and a huge fan of lying...
but this was a hater's paradise.
the first story is about how literature is better than life, mostly because lying rules. these are two opinions at the core of my personal philosophy and reading affirmations of them in oscar wilde's prose was a dream fulfilled.
the second story is about how critics are as valuable as (if not more valuable than) the artists themselves, and as one of goodreads' preeminent annoying people picky readers that ruled too.
Loading...