I actively hated The Long way to a small angry planet but I continued with this book because I have read all of the other Hugo nominees. Look, I triedI actively hated The Long way to a small angry planet but I continued with this book because I have read all of the other Hugo nominees. Look, I tried but life is too short and there are far too many books to read/listen to to continue with something I dislike as much as this.
Tania Rodrigues, god bless you but I cannot stand your narration. You need to take a valium and stop over acting by about 200% as a first step to competence.
Becky Chambers, you have lots of fans and a Hugo nomination so I'm sure my opinion is just a plop in the proverbial bucket - but I have come to think of your books as character studies of extremely uninteresting characters who come off like preachy care bears. I made it over half way with this book and like the last, absolutely nothing of consequence had happened. There was no carrot for me to chase as a reader. Your idea of adjectives are words like "good" and "big" which then get comically overused. You took your AI character that would have to be the least interesting AI I have ever read in a SF and wiped its memory, separated it from the crew you spent the last book on and had it learn its most basic functions. You gave us a back story for another AI character that would discover what food is and stars are and then explain it to me the reader. You gave us "Commander Data learns to poop" and the internet loved it and nominated it for Science Fiction awards. Good job internet!
I love Science Fiction, I love good characters. I don't need blood and guts and space opera but there is just nothing here I enjoy. Chambers writing feels like a sickly sweet treat being rammed down my throat. I get the impression she has read a very limited amount of SF and thinks she is contributing something new. I normally hate the Hugo lists, I think they are as bad a representation of SF/F as the Grammys are of good music. This year's list however is quite strong, with the notable exception of this....more
(Audiobook) I couldn't finish this one. I gave it over 6 hours (35%) to convince me it was worth continuing. Narrator Mia Barron was quite good so thi(Audiobook) I couldn't finish this one. I gave it over 6 hours (35%) to convince me it was worth continuing. Narrator Mia Barron was quite good so this is one of the few I abandoned purely because of how much I hated the characters and story.
This was a comedic farce without the comedy. It was an Abbott & Costello "Who's on first" routine, with smartphones and no punchline(s).
Briddie was supposedly an exec for a smartphone company but she was spectacularly stupid. She makes important decisions for a tech company but can't keep track of her most basic deceptions let alone what she did with her car. All of her problems could have been solved simply by telling people to "butt out" or better yet "PISS OFF!". I hate stupid characters and they don't come any stupider then Briddie....Well her sister was certainly more insufferable. I GUESS we were supposed to cheer for CB to GET THE GIRL despite his like of hygiene or redeeming qualities. These weren't characters they were caricatures.
The plot was extremely convoluted. I get it, it's a farce but there was no redeeming comedy. I snorted more in frustration then wry amusement. The point it wants to make about technology and intrusive communication could have been done effectively in a short story not a 20 hour, 500+ page book.
This book is packed full of pop culture. However it feels like the author is just jamming this crap in. Look I said "Instagram"! And I know what Tumblr is! And Tinder! I'm hip like that! I can't help but think this book will age poorly. It is only 6 months old and already seems dated (Brad and Angelina as the ideal couple...ooops)
Even though I did not finish it I know I did not like it so - 1 star...more
(Audiobook) I am not going to rate this book as I only listened to 90 minutes of it. I do have some thoughts though...
No one has recommended this book(Audiobook) I am not going to rate this book as I only listened to 90 minutes of it. I do have some thoughts though...
No one has recommended this book to me. If you rate any well reviewed Science Fiction book of 2016, chances are Goodreads will recommend "Dark Run". I knew nothing about it except that it keeps turning up on this site as something published this year I should read.
The writing was just OK. I kind of shook my head at the line that someone was wobbling like a shivering epileptic. That is the bad combination of trying very hard and not succeeding.
So it is pretty clear from the opening and the description this is a "space action-adventure" or a "Space Western". So from my point of view that means if this were a TV show I would probably like it but it's not going to scratch my SF itch in book form. A smuggler is offered a job, trouble ensues. Personally I am looking for something a little more mind expanding then that. So no harm no foul this just isn't for me.
The audiobook - wow here we go again. I feel like I need to draw up a flowchart for audio production companies
Is the main character of the book an ethnic minority
If NO then hire any actor If YES Can an actor of that ethnic minority be hired? If YES Then hire that actor If NO Ask Why not? (Seriously!) then ditch any cartoonish/stereotypical/laughable attempts at having the minority character voiced in a terrible accent. The narrator's regular voice will be fine thanks.
Author Mike Brooks is English. Narrator Damian Lynch is English. The main character of the book is "Mexican Han Solo". Mexican Han Solo would have been so much fun! Having a Mexican narrator do every other accent as "attempted British" would have been...at least interesting!
Having an English actor do every character in a British accent EXCEPT for the main character was BIZARRE.
The accent lynch chose for "Ichabod Drift" was "confused, vaguely American with English-as second-language who is also scared to talk into the microphone". I guess he gets credit for not doing a "Speedy Gonzalez" Andale! Andale! Areba! but the accent he chose was so off it took me a while to even work out what he was going for (vaguely Puerto Rican). The guy's name is "Ichabod" for chrissakes he could have been just another British accent which Lynch was fine at. Instead he sounds like a 5th grade reader being asked to read a medical textbook in front of the whole class - nervous AND struggling with the words. How the f*ck did we get this soft spoken voice for an arse kicking Mexican smuggler! How!!! Don't get me started on the "Maori" accent, which was also "confused British person struggling to speak" Gah!!!
(Audiobook) (Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Hachette Audio lair)
Hachette Executive: All right then, what's next on the agenda?
Hachette Lackey: Wel(Audiobook) (Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Hachette Audio lair)
Hachette Executive: All right then, what's next on the agenda?
Hachette Lackey: Well Sir, we need to cast a narrator for KB Wager's "Behind the throne"
Exec: Never heard of it
Lackey: It says here it is a "Star wars-style Science Fiction adventure". We are really excited about it Sir
Exec: "Star Wars" eh...Seems like a pretty obscure reference...maybe the kids these days will go for it...Male lead or female?
Lackey: The protagonist is a butt kicking Princess Sir
Exec: Ok good, so a straightforward narration then...Maybe see if that chick that did "Seveneves" is available? She was (drops voice 4 octaves) WAY COOOOOOL
Lackey: She is not Sir...Um can I say Sir, there seems to be an Indian influence in the book. Maybe we could get someone that is good at Indian accents?
Exec:(Chomps cigar thoughtfully) Indian Ay?...By George I like it! That is just the type of thing that these tree hugging Hollywood hippies will be into! I want the whole thing voiced in a "Pocahontas" accent! Did you see Sandler's Indian movie that thing was f*ckin great! Show it to our narrator! That's what I want!
Lackey: Um Sir...How do I put this?...We only have white narrators on the payroll, that might be considered a little...um "culturally insensitive" don't you think?....Also...a small thing Sir...the book has an EAST Indian influence...
Exec: ALL RIGHT DAMNIT have it all done in an East Indian accent I don't give a crap (stubs out cigar)
Lackey:....Sir maybe...in light of our situation...with the umm...roster...we should just forget the Indian accents? It's not really THAT big a part of the book...
Exec:(screaming) I WANT THE WHITEST WOMAN WE HAVE DOING APU FROM THE SIMPSONS! FOR EVERY CHARACTER! EVERYONE LOVES APU! IT'S NOT BLOODY HARD! (Wobbles head and puts on an Indian accent) LOOK AT ME BEING INDIAN SEE HOW INDIAN I AM BEING RIGHT NOW
Lackey: (hangs head) I'll get right on it Sir
and SCENE!
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If someone paid me to read an Ian M Banks book in a Scottish accent I would be more then happy to do it. Since I am not good at accents my "Scottish" would turn into "Irish" and then "Irish-Pakistani" as I tried to cover 16 different characters. It would suck. So I have nothing against Angele Masters for doing what she was asked. Her IMDB page shows an indie movie every 2-3 years so she could clearly use the work. I blame Hachette Audio for whatever screwed up process lead to the production of this audiobook.
I know Audiobooks are small time - but did we really forget #Oscarssowhite or the controversy over this turd:
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Option A - Hire an Indian actor Option B - Hire whoever and don't voice every single character in a terrible Indian accent Option C - Do WTF Hachette Audio did with "Behind the Throne"
Somehow we got C
I'm not sure I have adequately communicated how bad the acting and the accents are in this audiobook. Master's somehow combined the South African accents of "Chappie" with Mrs Apu and couldn't even keep them consistent with the same character.
I played a minute of this for my Indian work mate
First he was like this:
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Then he was like this: [image]
The whole time I was listening like this:
[image] So I am calling it early and presenting Hachette Audio with this special Golden Turd award for Worst Audiobook 2016
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I am presenting Angele Masters the award for "worst character voicing 2016" for....:(opens envelope) OMG It's a tie! "Evil Cousin Princess' and "Old crazy Empress" share the award! We could not separate them!
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And while I desperately wanted to give the award for Worst cover blurb to Gollancz for "Revenger" that was a sin of omission. The Golden Turd goes to Orbit for calling this slow moving Indian-themed fantasy in space a "Star wars-style Science Fiction adventure"
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That is an astonishing 3 Golden Turds!!!
Seriously Han Solo was a smuggler and Hail is a gun runner...Princess Leia kinda kicks arse...so STAR WARS IS THE APT COMPARISON I guess?
So onto the actual book...No one is a bigger fan of the "Political/Court Intrigue...In Space" subgenre then me. I even like a *bit* of Star Wars. So I should LOVE this book.
I gave up a little over half way through when the evil-cousin-Princess and Crazy-arse-Old-Empress were having another convo and I was having a mild anuerysm and my spirit guides and power animal told me to STOP this negative energy in my life and load up the next book.
I *think* that somewhere in the print version is a 2-3 star book but the audio is a legit one star and I got over halfway through and found absolutely *nothing* that makes me want to buy the print version to * really get* this story.
Here is a summary of Wager's worldbuilding
*Indian influence - This amounted to some references to Shiva and wearing Sari's and some Indian names for characters *Matriarchy instead of Patriarchy - totally *out there* cray-cray concept *Refer to some powerful aliens who's religion holds them back from dominating the galaxy *And...that's all I got
The prose was overwritten and treated me like I could not follow it's genius:
"Father, what is going on"? Black eyes flicked to my bodyguards, then nervously back to me. "Not in the open child, even in this temple things said reach more then just the gods". Translation: we were being watched, but by whom?
Oh our reluctant Princess is such a handful!
She was right of course, I kind of wanted to smack her senseless but I wouldn't kill her, that would just be RUDE. Not to mention it would immediately elevate me to a position I didn't want
Wagers loves her Melodrama and could barely resist the urge to imbue every scene with MASSIVE FEELS
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Her use of swearing smacked of a lack of belief in the reader's intelligence. "My mother" had to be "My f*cking Mother" so we UNDERSTAND that strained relationship with her Mother.
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Do yourself a favour and get a CJ Cherryh book instead ...more
(Audiobook) Mechanical Failure is a farce in space. The obvious reference would be “Spaceballs for Military Science Fiction”.
Unfortunately it read to (Audiobook) Mechanical Failure is a farce in space. The obvious reference would be “Spaceballs for Military Science Fiction”.
Unfortunately it read to me like a young adult novel packed to the brim with groan inducing “Dad jokes” and juvenile humour.
This book tries way too hard and attempts to make up for the lack of quality in the joke writing with quantity. It is a bit like listening to a standup comedy special that generates 2 wry smiles in a whole hour of sweaty, earnest performance. There is nothing lamer then someone trying really, really hard to be funny ALL the time.
The book would have been better served editing out the 90+% of jokes that simply aren’t funny or by attempting to include elements of plot or characterisation that made the humour less essential. So many scenes exist purely to setup a dumb gag then we are off to the next gag. This might have been ok if any of them worked.
Author Joe Zieja chose to narrate his own audiobook. He also chose to no-sell his own jokes. If it isn’t funny to Zeija in the first place how is it going to be funny to me? Zeija sounds like a nice enough guy, his voice reminded me of Fry from Futurama. He is not a voice actor and has no sense of comic timing or an ability to deliver the lines in a droll/dry way that *Possibly* could have generated a laugh or two. He almost seems embarrassed to deliver his own jokes and tosses them out dismissively as we move on to the next one.
The scenes were repetitive and pointless. When Rodgers arrives on the ship it is clear the military has changed tremendously in the few years he has been gone. We get 3 or 4 scenes in a row that show us that the days of beer drinking and bludging are long gone and everyone in the crew now strictly adhere to protocol. This point was just driven into the ground as scene after scene after scene kept making the same point, the good ol days are gone, the military is now run by strict incompetents.
As I reached the 30% point of the audiobook I realised that the best of the jokes could be described as “mildly amusing”. At the same point of “Sleeping Giants” by Sylvain Nuevel which is clearly NOT a comedy I had already laughed out loud 2 or 3 times.
Before abandoning the book I decided to write down the next 3 jokes to give an idea of the level of humour. Feel free to insert your own drum crash /clown-car honk or slide whistle sound effects
Joke 1 Droid: “All infractions must be filed within 1 standard day” Rodgers: The only thing I’m going to file are my nails
Joke 2 Ensign: I’m Ensign McSchmidt Engineering squad commander Rodgers: McSchmidt - that’s kind of an odd name Ensign: Half of my family was German, the other half was Irish
Joke 3 Droid: Call Function – Surreptitiously follow Ensign Rodgers Rodgers What the hell was that? Droid: Call Function- Maintain clever hiding place
I hate to abandon any book and I will normally stick it out but I have too many things I want to read to groan my way through another 7 hours of Dad jokes. Did not finish. ...more
“Downbelow Station” was a very good book but necessarily a highly enjoyable one. I can’t imagine there were very many claustrophobic, morally ambiguou“Downbelow Station” was a very good book but necessarily a highly enjoyable one. I can’t imagine there were very many claustrophobic, morally ambiguous, multiple-perspective space opera’s around in 1982. It certainly seems innovative in that regard. It also seemed like the longest 330 page book I have ever read. In the month it took me to read it never became a slog but it was a very dense read that required a lot of focus. It felt like a minor achievement in finishing it.
I am a sucker for any type of alien race more primitive then our own. Whether it is Orson Scott Card’s “Piggies” or Cherryh’s “Downers” I instantly fell in love with the hisa who I imagined as a bunch of butt-ugly Care Bears. My biggest fear through the whole book was something terrible happening to the hisa
There were some characters I cared quite a bit about (Josh, the Konstantins, the Downers) and there were others who I had to remember who they were every time they were mentioned. Part of that was my own stop-start reading where I would read 60 or so pages on a weekend, not read at all for 3 or 4 days. Read 10 pages etc. By the time we had cycled through the dozen characters back to Ayers or the Section 6 Ambassador guy I would struggle to remember who they were. I also struggled to remember which faction some of the characters were with. Maybe I am a dumbarse but it wasn’t until the end of the book I realised “Union” and “Merchanters” were different, I thought it was the “Merchanters Union”. So I spent a lot of time wondering which character belonged to which faction if they were off-station.
While we had 2 clear villains in Lukas and Mazian, I felt like almost everyone else was some shade of grey. It wasn’t entirely clear who I should be cheering for in the conflict which was obviously what Cherryh was going for. The Company were doofuses but the Union were heartless. The “history of the stations” a 20 or so page exposition that starts the book was fascinating and built the world up well. I can picture the claustrophobic corridors of Pell station very clearly in my mind.
Cherryh was a very unique writer. I can’t exactly put my finger on what makes her prose so different. It definitely required my full attention without being obtuse. It seemed like sometimes a word would be deliberately left out of sentences. Some sentences would run on seemingly forever. I am not criticising here I just found her writing familiar but completely different. At the end of the day this was a story about a large scale refugee crises and how the people connected with Pell station did their best to keep everyone alive. This wasn’t a total “downer” of a book (sorry!) but it wasn’t a cheery good time either.
I have a ton of Cherryh books to read and while I wasn’t sure I would like the “Chanur” series before, having read what she did with the hisa I am sure I will enjoy it now.
Note: This is listed on the “abandoned” shelf as I had purchased the audiobook and had to abandon it due to crimes against my ears and buy the paper book instead. ...more
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