The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
John Goodman: Pacha
Photos
Quotes
-
Kuzco : So, you lied to me.
Pacha : I did?
Kuzco : Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills and I did not hear any singing.
[takes Kuzcotopia]
Kuzco : So, I'll be building my summer home on a more *magical* hill. Thank you.
Pacha : Heh. Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh?
Kuzco : No, no, I'm sharp. I'm on it.
[puts the model of Pacha's house back on the hilltop]
Kuzco : Looks like you and your family are stuck on the tuneless hilltop forever, pal.
[Kuzco and Pacha sit in silence]
Pacha : You know, I'm pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us. In case you're interested.
-
Pacha : Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Kuzco : Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
Pacha : I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.
Kuzco : Well, that makes you ugly *and* stupid.
Pacha : Let's end this.
Kuzco : Ladies first.
-
Kuzco : Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!
Pacha : What? No, I did not.
Kuzco : Yes, and then you kidnapped me!
Pacha : Why would I kidnap a llama?
Kuzco : I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me.
Pacha : What?
Kuzco : You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.
-
Pacha : What happened?
Old Man : Well, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha : What?
Old Man : His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha : Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today.
Old Man : Don't throw off his groove!
Pacha : Oh, okay.
Old Man : Bewaaare, the grooove.
Pacha : Hey, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man : Grooove...
-
Pacha : Emperor Kuzco?
Kuzco : Yeah. Who did you think you were talking to?
Pacha : Um... How did... uh... you don't... *look* like the emperor.
Kuzco : What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?
Pacha : Um... do this.
[wiggles fingers]
Kuzco : What is this, some little game you country folk like to play?
[sees his hoofed hand, gasps]
Kuzco : It can't be! I...
[looks at his reflection in the water]
Kuzco : [Gasps] My face! My beautiful, beautiful face! I'm an ugly, stinky llama! Wah-hah-hah! Llama face!
-
ChiCha : So what did the emperor want?
Pacha : [Unable to explain that Emperor Kuzco was planning to destroy their village to make room for his Summer home, Kuzcotopia] Uh, you know what? He couldn't see me.
ChiCha : Couldn't see you? Why not?
Pacha : I don't know.
ChiCha : Well, that's just rude!
Pacha : Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
ChiCha : No no no no. Emperor or no Emperor, it's called common courtesy. If it were me, I'd march right back there and *demand* to see him. You know I would!
Pacha : Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby.
ChiCha : Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming out for a while, but even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just, just...
[snorts]
ChiCha : I gotta go wash something.
-
[Pacha has gotten himself and Kuzco tied to a dead tree branch]
Kuzco : Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Pacha : No, no, no. It's... It's okay. This is all right. We can figure this out.
[the branch cracks]
Kuzco : I hate you.
-
Kronk : Hey, don't I know you?
Pacha : I... I don't think so.
Kronk : Wrestled you in high school.
Pacha : I don't remember that, no.
Kronk : Metal shop? Oh, I know, Miss Nalca's interpretive dance, two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. C'mon, you gotta help me out here.
Pacha : Look, I don't think we've ever met, but... I gotta go.
[Gets up]
Kronk : Don't worry, I'll think of it!
-
Townsman #1 : Hey, Pacha, you just missed your relatives.
Pacha : My relatives?
Townsman #1 : Yeah, we just sent them up to your house.
Pacha : What'd they look like?
Townsman #1 : Well there was this big guy, and this older woman who was... well, how would you describe her?
Townsman #2 : Ah, scary beyond all reason?
Townsman #1 : Yeah, that's it.
-
Kuzco : When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?
Pacha : Well, that's funny. Because I thought that you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really *bad* ideas.
Kuzco : Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
-
Pacha : [hanging off the bridge] Kuzco!
Kuzco : Yeah?
Pacha : Quick, pull me up!
Kuzco : No, I don't think I will.
Pacha : You're gonna leave me here?
Kuzco : Well, I was gonna have you imprisoned for life, but I kinda like this better.
Pacha : I thought you were a changed man.
Kuzco : Come on, I had to say *something* to get you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha : So all of it was a lie?
Kuzco : Well yeah. No, wait... Oh, yeah, it all was a lie. Toodles!
-
Pacha : You know what? Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzko : [sarcastically rolls his eyes] Thanks for that. I'll log *that* away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace!
Pacha : Looks to me like you're stuck out here, because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
-
Kuzco : Hey, tiny. I wanna get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now let's go.
Pacha : Build your summer house somewhere else.
Kuzco : You wanna run that by me again?
Pacha : I can't let you go back unless you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else.
Kuzco : I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer.
[Pacha comes closer]
Kuzco : [loudly, in Pacha's ear] I don't make deals with peasants!
-
ChiCha : Okay, okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.
Tipo , Chaca : Dad, do we have to?
[gives him the sad face with their big sad eyes]
Pacha : No, you two can stay up. We're just gonna be sitting here telling each other how much we love each other. Right, honey?
-
[after saving Kuzco from some jaguars while swinging on a vine]
Pacha : Don't worry your highness, I gotcha!
-
[Kuzco falls off the bridge, gets tangled up in vines and hangs next to Pacha]
Pacha : Are you OK? Are you all right?
Kuzco : Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm all right.
Pacha : [angrily] Good!
[punches Kuzco in the face]
Pacha : That's for going back on your promise!
Kuzco : Hi-ya!
[kicks Pacha in the stomach and swings on the vines]
Kuzco : That's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village, which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way!
[chuckles]
Kuzco : No touchy.
[Pacha headbutts him in the chest]