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Goin' South (1978)
Interesting time line
This movie has a great cast, many of whom are inter-related in various ways. First, there is Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito and Christopher Lloyd, all of whom were in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest together three years earlier in 1975. Needless to say, Nicholson must have had some influence in casting DeVito and Lloyd, as he directed this picture. DeVito and Lloyd were still relatively unknown until they were cast the following year in TAXI. Next, we have Veronica Cartwright, who would be cast in ALIEN the very next year in 1979. Then we have the lovely Luana Anders, who looked just as fabulous as she did 17 years earlier in her signature role as Don'a Medina in The Pit and the Pendulum, in 1961. There is John Belushi in his first film role, which ironically was in the same year that he would appear in Animal House. Finally, Mary Steenburgen appears here in her first film, as well. She would later go on to make some fabulously successful appearances in films like Parenthood and Back to the Future Part 3. As for the movie, it was an under-rated and relatively unknown independent film made by Nicholson on a lark. It's one of those magnificent sleepers that was just great fun to watch - it's a happy movie with lots of laughs and lessons in loyalty and kindness. It remains one of my favorite comedies, westerns, and casts nearly 40 years later.
Batman & Robin (1997)
This is what you get when a flamer directs a super-hero movie
Let's step out of the P.C. mind-police ring for a few moments and reflect on Joel Schumacher, who is a flaming fruit, and according to Val Kilmer, so difficult to work with that he swore he would never do another film with him again. This is why George Clooney has replaced Kilmer in the role, with the same cast from the prior Batman/Schumacher film. To be frank, the sets, props and costumes in this movie look like a drag queen parade. Even the Bat-mobile looked exceptionally flowery. I would venture to say that this is handily the worst Batman movie ever made, closely followed by the previous Batman/Schumacher film with Kilmer in it. In addition, unlike the other Batman movies, this movie's story line gives one the distinct impression that it was made specifically for children under the age of 10. It's no wonder Schumacher wasn't asked to make another one, and thank the heavens that he didn't. It would surely have meant the death of the franchise.
Night Will Fall (2014)
The revolting truth about the Nazis
This film describes in detail what we already knew about the Nazis. The details of their horrible atrocities need not be gone to in detail here, except as to the contents of the film, itself. Few people realize the immediate effects of the initial sight of the camps on American Generals. Patton toured one camp and emerged so outraged that several adjutants said that they had never seen him so angry. Eisenhower toured a camp and remarked that many US soldiers didn't know what they were fighting for, but now, he could show them what they were fighting against. The large responses to the holocaust were, "oh, it'll never happen again, now!" Look at Uganda 1994, and Serbia 1995. This will never stop unless somebody intercedes. It is the opening of the gateway to hell, with evil piloting the way. If this is not stopped in its tracks, the armies of darkness will march across the earth. It could happen to any one of us, if we don't meet the measures of a tyrannical police state.
The Two-Headed Spy (1958)
Infiltrating the heart of evil
First of all, thanks to DavidGPS of GB for rectifying what we already knew - that Germany pioneered magnetic tape in the late 1930s. Now lets get to this little-known Jack Hawkins film. Andre DeToth made some excellent movies in his time, but this true story was as gritty as it got in 1958. There are some very hard to stomach scenes of a tyrannical and evil police state at war - not for the squeamish or children, by any means. Among the greatest of WWII movies, Hawkins depicts General Schottland, a British native of German decent who came back to the Fatherland during WW1 and fought in the German ranks. As a result, he was able to infiltrate the German High Command and even became trusted by Hitler. As he became a valued and important source of information to the British, he also endangered himself and all those who helped him. There were some really great WWII movies, but this one has you on the edge of your seat and riveted to the screen for the entire duration. Definitely my favorite Jack Hawkins movie of all time, and hats off to DeToth for daring to be so bold as to show how ruthless the Nazis really were.
Get Hard (2015)
Another unfunny Will Ferrel bomb
This is just the latest turkey-vehicle for Will Ferrel. I would like to actually meet someone who thinks this poorly written tripe is funny, just so I can see how old they are. His NASCAR movie was a stinker, his ice skating movie was a major turkey, and this movie compounds that exponentially by inserting Kevin Hart, another entirely unfunny "comic". I give the movie two stars, simply because there wasn't anything else new out on demand. There was absolutely nothing funny in this movie. It tries too hard to get laughs, but comes up totally barren. I would rather watch paint dry. Anyone who finds this slop amusing must be somewhat lacking in intelligence.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Entirely too much CG-OYE!
A screaming, annoying and overacting brat, a has-been midget, and a woefully out of control dilettante teen try to make their way through two hours of a cgi festooned, badly made remake. Amazingly, as recently as only 20 years ago, these cheap directors would not have been able to take the easy way out and had to actually physically BUILD props and sets. Not so, these days. A crappy remake like this is as easy to spin off as a poor quality video game, and equally as profitable, even if it IS garbage. To quantify the rest of the movie, it is disconnected and grasping for a plot that was well established in the original film. To compensate, the movie is overloaded with over-exuberant extras throughout the contrived and flat script. In my opinion, the original film sticks far closer to the story as written by H.G. Wells, and has far more interesting special effects. It probably had a far better critical response, as well. A puff of John Williams' over-inflated fart gas does not make it any fluffier.
The Interview (2014)
Lame and a total waste of time
This is just the latest crapola from Roegen and Franco. These two jerks have made nothing but turkeys and this film is exactly what one would expect from them. It is lame, tacky and tiresome, not to mention totally dull and unfunny. I think these two hacks have got something wrong with them to consistently keep creating crap - as well as the Hollywood cretins who keep financing such hogwash. Another hack is Seth McFarlane who makes dumb, lame, crapola as well. Clearly there is a trend here, but I'm not sure if it's just their lack of writing ability to come up with something that's actually funny, or if they really think this septic garbage IS actually funny - when nobody else does - the exception being juveniles who think they're supposed to find it so. I got not one laugh out of the whole movie and found large portions of it just downright annoying. Perhaps they think that needling an audience is the humor in itself. But I've got news for you turkey writers, if that's the case, it's only funny to you. And eventually, your audiences will get disappointed too many times to bother wasting anymore time on your inane crap. In fact, I had no intention of wasting any time on this latest doo-doo fest if it hadn't been for the fiasco that preceded its release. The only neat thing about this movie was the advertising campaign. That's how you sell a movie that's a stinker - with a publicity stunt - a trick as old as the hills, and just as transparent as the vacant seats at the theaters will be the next time these idiots produce more garbage. I got more amusement out of the Sony hack than this dimwitted tripe. If the North Koreans had bothered to view the movie they got so upset about, they would have seen there was no insult to anyone except the makers of this film.
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
Rancid stinker laced with A-listers who probably regret being casted
MacFarlane has outdone himself with tacky, tired and lame humor for the final time with me. He has now elevated himself to the level of Seth Roegen and James Franco - totally dull and unfunny crapola - with this movie. Its dragged out, amateurish and childlike toilet humor is about as funny as a boil. The fact that ANYBODY finds this kind of garbage humorous, in any capacity, just says that they must be under 23 and think they're supposed to find this hilarious. What it says to me, and probably 10,000 other movie goers, is that if this is all the material they can come up with for a script - which by the way has ZERO plot in it, as well - then I'd save my ticket money and just get disappointed on-line when the movie comes out for web-streaming. I got not one single laugh out of the whole movie. It is a major stinker/bomb/turkey that made me regret having sat through it, and embarrassed to admit it.
Citizen X (1995)
Superb documentary
This serial killer actually ran amok in the Soviet Union for twenty years and was only caught after enough funds were finally available and public opinion was no longer swayed by politics due to the collapse of the Soviet Union. Donald Sutherland probably had his greatest role in this movie, which was drastically underrated and overlooked. He plays a reasonable and practical military official/politician, not only devoted to keeping himself alive and employed, but attempting to get results, as well - not an easy task in a police state. This is a very good movie, which I wish had been made in wide-screen and distributed to theaters. It is also an accurate accounting of the true events. I remember this as it was actually happening. A tiny bit of it filtered out from month to month through news-feeds in Poland. Unfortunately, it's another "M" - some creep killing kids. I find these movies difficult to watch.
Stranded (2014)
Comical in its efforts
I have seen TV commercials with better actors! This is another movie I couldn't sit through. Between the paper thin actors and their badly timed attempts at dialogue, and scenes like Tom Berenger sitting at a judge's bench - obviously without a live audience, they show the cheapness of this film and guarantees that it definitely didn't go over-budget (undoubtedly a tiny one). We all get old, but Eric Roberts' choppers sound like they just came out of a glass, and Tom Berenger looks like he's ready to explode. The score was also cheap, and reminded me of 1970s TV. The director chose some shots that make me think he has about as much experience at this as a teenager directing an 8mm school project. Why either Tom Berenger OR Eric Roberts would ever choose to be in something this lame is beyond me. My theory is they owed one of their kids a favor and pulled a Ricky Ricardo. I give what I saw 2 stars, and that's being generous.
Pastor Shepherd (2010)
Playing poker with a deck of UNO cards
This is one of those rare, indie gem sleepers that go almost unnoticed until you find it yourself. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie from start to finish. The script was utterly hilarious, as well as all of the characters. Danny Trejo got a great role, even though it was a relatively minor one, and showed off his comedic talent. Several of the lines in the movie are so funny, they hit you like a sight gag. I could not stop laughing at the interludes between Pastor Shepherd and his boss at the freeze-dried pet company. Whoever directed this deserves an award. It reminds me of a really good John Waters movie. If you want to be very pleasantly surprised by an overlooked gem, this is your ticket. Definitely one of the funniest movies in the last 20 years.
Gravity (2013)
Idiots these days are easy to please
This the worst tripe I have ever seen nominated for an Academy Award! I would say it takes the Guinness World Book Of Records on that one, followed closely by AVATAR. Bullock looks like her typical lugubrious self, albeit in a space suit for 90 minutes. Kim Kardashian could have played this part better, as any moron could have been cast in this role. I saw only bits and pieces of this movie and immediately knew I would NEVER watch such hogwash, even if I was so bored I only had the pastime of laundering my socks. It is totally implausible and BORING. What this movie proves, more than anything else, is that it sure doesn't take much to amuse the younger generation these days.
InAPPropriate Comedy (2013)
A riotously funny movie!
Not everybody agrees with me when I review a movie like this one and give it a good review. I reviewed Tom Green's "Freddie Got Fingered" favorably and got a lot of chaff about it. The same will probably occur here as well. I found this movie amusing to such a degree that I burst into laughter several times. The best parts are with Ari Shaffir, who caused my sides to split in several sequences - particularly the Asian Auto School. Now, I realize that all the PC people would like to have SHAM-WOW's head up on a pole over this movie, but get a grip. Everybody in the movie was obviously having fun, it was well written, very funny, and shot on a minuscule budget with quite moderate success at the box office. And, quite frankly, it was well directed! If you've ever wanted to get revenge on those PC nitwits that are taking over our lives with all their petty grievances and ridiculous demands, this movie does it all! Personally, I believe this is the land of the FREE, not the land of the PC. It's about time somebody made an inappropriate comedy!
Salt (2010)
Easily one of the worst films of the decade
I notice all the "real" critics pander to this movie like they're going to step on "Queen" Jolie's awkward toes if they don't. This movie is a major stink-bomb, with an appropriately proportioned fart cloud, and about as much plausibility as finger-painting in doo-doo can produce. It is the most ludicrous tripe I have seen in ages! At one point I began laughing at it, which was its only saving grace. I can think of better ways to waste two improbable "action" movie hours than watching some skinny broad do ridiculously impossible stunts. The critics all say they think this is a good movie, as I said, probably to pander to the powers that be. The critique by Roger Ebert was the funniest, with all due respect to the deceased. He probably had a crush on Angelina Jolie. I, for one, do not.
M - Eine Stadt sucht einen Mörder (1931)
Difficult to watch, but outstanding
The content of this movie is extremely hard to stomach, even today. It is also filmed in German, so one has to frequently pause it to read the subtitles. After 80+ years - with even more nut-cases running around society, this movie really hits home. Peter Lorre is as sinister as it gets, and really makes himself the most vile villain known to movie audiences up until that time. Fritz Lang was way ahead of his time, and this movie essentially brought him to Hollywood, along with Peter Lorre. The movie also addresses the same, timeless issue we are still dealing with today, in stark reality - child abductors, murderers, and pedophiles, with such complete frankness, that it would rival a current amber alert story. One of the top 100 films of all time.
Paper Moon (1974)
An overlooked treasure
The charm and success of the film PAPER MOON, with Ryan and Tatum O'Neal, was so immense that within just one year it had been adapted to TV. This version, with Christopher Connelly and Jodie Foster, was actually more appealing than the original movie. Foster was utterly charming in one of her first roles to be widely seen. Since Connelly died 25 years ago and only 14 years after the series was made, many have not seen his work, nor recognize his name, but he was a very talented and funny character actor. I believe that this series was the springboard for Foster to star two years later in TAXI DRIVER, opposite Robert DeNiro, which led to many more movie deals and eventually an Oscar. I saw all thirteen of these episodes, which were repeated only once during the same season and never seen again. It was scripted television at its absolute finest, but, as the old saying goes, I guess you had to be there.
Decision Before Dawn (1951)
Rare glimpse of a police state at war
People remember Oskar Werner for his role in Fahrenheit 451, but this was his best role in one of the best WWII films in history. The sets are spectacular and would be impossible to recreate today. Richard Basehart, typically a ham, was excellent. There were some really great WWII films, like The Train, The Two Headed Spy, Bridge on the River Kwai and Stalag 17. This one was nominated for Best Picture 1951, and truly deserved it! Toward the end of the war, Nazi Germany was struggling with a collapsed economy, broken infrastructure and a deeply damaged and demoralized population. Both sides used underhanded and conniving methods to win the war, and this true story shows just how far they were willing to go. This is a very well made movie, which was an effort to make in 1951, and would be impossible to make today.
Mary Tyler Moore: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Writer (1974)
One of the very best episodes
This episode is among the very best of the entire series, and showcases Ted Knight at his finest as the bumbling boob and self-centered ignoramus that no-one could ever have played better. Edward Asner played the best foil ever seen in this episode. After Ted Baxter decides to write and broadcast his own unauthorized and ridiculous copy for the evening news, Lou Grant wants to kill him, but Georgette is in his dressing room. It is one of the funniest and most memorable scenes in television history. Following this fiasco, Ted decides to join Mary's writing class in an effort to justify his writing skills. He steals Mary's childhood story, and on a 4th grade level submits it before the class, much to the dismay of Mary.
Blubberella (2011)
The worst movie ever made
I have seen a lot of bad pictures over my 50+ years, but this one absolutely takes the cake. I have seen all of Ed Wood's terrible movies, and even those are better than this. At least Wood's movies were laughable, albeit unintentionally. This movie tries to get laughs, gets none, and is possibly the most tedious, boring and useless movie ever put to celluloid. Rarely will I walk out on a movie less than a third of the way into it, but this movie is so bad, it was actually painful to watch. I feel bad for Ronny Howard's brother, who must have been desperate for work to have taken this acting job. This movie is a colossal waste of time. Even if you are bored to tears, this would only make it worse!
Bob the Butler (2005)
Utterly charming movie
This is Tom Green at his best! The only thing wrong with this film is there wasn't enough of it! I loved this movie, and frankly, I am amazed at Tom Green's ability to render such pathos. I loved his manic humor in earlier films, but this was simply superb work on his part as an actor. Brooke Shields has never been so charming, and I just loved her in this movie. She was perfectly cast for this film. Unfortunately, Tom Green spends far too much time behind the camera instead of in front of it these days, and we are losing a national treasure because of that. He now has a special place on my list of favorite actors - that I will go to the movies to see anything he is in. Tom, please star in some more movies! I will throw down ten bucks to see any movie you are in, just because you are in it!
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Hilarious!
I don't care what anybody says, this movie is funny. Tom Green has made one of the funniest movies I can recall with Freddy Got Fingered. The best comedies are just utter nonsense and sketches rolled up into one big ball. Personally, I think Tom Green is a comic genius, and no matter what he does, it's funny. I laughed the whole way through this movie. The Razzies gave him the "worst actor" award for this movie, but I could care less how bad his acting was, it only contributed to the nonsense even more. Furthermore, the movie doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is. The A-list supporting cast is evidence that they too thought this script was funny. This movie is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud!
The Body Snatcher (1945)
My favorite Karloff picture
This is Karloff at his very finest. He was masterful as the monster in the Frankenstein roles, but really didn't impress me in much else, until I saw this movie. He was the most evil, dastardly, conniving and disgustingly depraved villain as ever seen in pictures up until this movie was made. I'm sure the character, and Karloff's performance, both, shocked audiences. It was a dramatic role in a somewhat horror, more of a thriller, type movie. His screen presence is so profound in this movie, that you just can't take your eyes off of him. He literally steals the show. Frankly, I never knew he had it in him to do this kind of work. This was a superb performance by Karloff. Worthy of a best supporting actor nod. Of course, all of this is rudimentary - Robert Wise directed it, and many other Oscar-worthy notables.
The Jackal (1997)
This is not a remake
I think people here expect to see a remake of The Day of the Jackal. This movie has nothing to do with The Day of the Jackal. This is an independent fictitious tale based upon Carlos the Jackal. It is one of my favorite Bruce Willis flicks, and has one of the greatest movie scores of all time. As far as entertainment by Bruce Willis goes, this is an 8 out of 10, hands down. Get over this being a lousy remake of an entirely different movie, and appreciate it for what it is. An outstanding effort - $60 million worth. In my opinion, Bruce Willis is as good as a bad guy as he was in any of his good guy roles. I would not dismiss this movie until you see how great he was in it. A terrific cast and great story line make this a must see.
The Invaders: Storm (1967)
particularly impressive episode
In this episode, the aliens are creating hurricanes with a device that bares a remarkable resemblance to a US weapons program known as HAARP. It is the realization of Nichola Tesla's 1918 theory that with a given type of antenna array, the magnetosphere can be manipulated to do many things, including creating earthquakes and hurricanes. The current US antenna array in Alaska is more than 10 square acres in area and enlists some thirty separate antennae, each with massive individual power generators, to focus to a solid beam. In "Storm", the aliens are firing it from a fishing boat. This technology, either researched, or not, before they decided to write it into the script, was 30 years ahead of its time. This cutting-edge technology speculation far before its time, which was routinely used throughout the entire gamut of episodes, makes The Invaders the top notch series that it was, and still is. The special effects in this series were nothing less than spectacular. Some of the techniques were directly gleaned from "The Outer Limits" - but in color! - and in this episode, they really pour it on - especially when the antenna is firing.
The UFO Incident (1975)
Accurately depicts what happened in the true story
This movie is very closely based on the true story. I can attest to this, because I have a unique relationship to it. I was 9 years old in October, 1965, when our 4th grade math teacher rolled in the 21" TV to our classroom abruptly one afternoon, and displayed a live interview on local Boston TV with the Hills. Betty Hill described, verbatim, what the movie depicts, except she was much more detailed in the TV interview, which lasted nearly an hour. What she said was so impressive, I never forgot it for the rest of my life. She is the rarest of abductees, in the sense that she had a lucid conversation with her abductors. I believed every word she said then, and I have believed it for 45 years since, without the slightest modicum of doubt. As to the movie itself, I cannot imagine more perfect casting than Estelle Parsons and James Earl Jones. They were made for these parts. If you have ever seen the real Hills in an interview, the resemblance is uncanny. The film pays strict attention to detail and is well made. It took guts for these people to go public, and even more to make a movie that didn't distort the story to the tastes of greedy Hollywood execs. For a low budgeted TV movie, this is more like a superb documentary.