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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 22:07, 8 August 2009 [1].

Joey Hamilton

[edit]
Nominator(s): --Giants27 (c|s) 17:03, 1 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for FAC because I believe it meets the FA criteria (obviously). It has also undergone a peer review from Brianboulton (talk · contribs) and Finetooth (talk · contribs) and an additional review from DoubleBlue (talk · contribs), here.

  • Comment: Prose could use a bit of beefing up (I'm sure we can get more than 9kb). I added a note on the salary arbitration; there may be more on that that I missed. Unfortunately, the salary arbitration i found creates an issue: it says the Reds couldn't sign them until May 1, but he re-signed with them in April. Another note, Hamilton was apparently not eligible for the hall in 2009, because then he would have been on the ballot this year (Henderson, Mark Grace, etc. all ended their careers in 2003 like Hamilton). The prose seems alright, though I'm sure there's more out there to add in. Wizardman 22:51, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose – Anytime an editor with Giants in his/her screen name makes their FAC debut, I'm virtually guaranteed to show up. :-) Unfortunately, I'm underwhelmed by the article. Before the review, I made a trip to Google News to see what else was avaliable on Hamilton, but the articles avaliable online are already used as sources. He's obviously a very obscure player, but that's not part of the criteria. The quality of the writing is, however, and this is just not there at the moment. It needs a serious copy-edit or two. A few examples are below, along with other comments.
  • First off, Major League Baseball is not included in the Hall of Fame's name. It's just known as the Baseball Hall of Fame.
  • The last reference says nothing about Hamilton not being on the Hall of Fame ballot. I recommend adding a cite that includes this; the official Hall of Fame website should have it somewhere.
  • What makes http://www.thebaseballcube.com/ a reliable source?
    • I'm assuming you mean since it says "Edit player data". If you click on it, it brings you to a form which in turn will be sent to the site operators and they'll review the changes before posting. Because of that IMO it's reliable.--Giants27 (c|s) 16:44, 7 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "is a former Major League Baseball pitcher who pitched...". Notice how repetitive that is to read? Of course a pitcher is going to pitch. Try changing the second one to a simple "played".
  • "San Diego traded him to the Toronto Blue Jays in December 1998, where he spent two full seasons with Toronto." Couple problems here. First, if he signed with the Toronto Blue Jays, of course he spent those seasons with Toronto. The last two words don't need to be there. Also, the Blue Jays are a team, not a place. Therefore, "where" doesn't make much sense. Perhaps try "for whom".
  • "Hamilton had stints in training camps and the minor leagues which included the Padres and Reds." The Padres and Reds aren't minor league teams. Do you mean their affiliates?
  • Early years and college: Sporting News was known as The Sporting News at the time. The magazine changed its name later.
  • "It was soon discovered that Hamilton was suffering from an elbow injury, which forced him to visit James Andrews". The injury may have forced him to seek treatment, but it didn't make him go to this particular surgeon. I'm sure he made that decision on his own.
  • Capitalize Olympics. Also, this begs the question of whether his injury prevented him from pitching in the Olympics.
  • San Diego Padres is linked four times in the first two sections. There's no need to have that many links on a single topic. Anyone interested will have clicked on the first link, or the one in the lead. Please check for this throughout.

There are just too many problems in the writing for me to think this is FA-worthy at the moment. Sorry to say this, but I recommend withdrawing the FAC and resubmitting the article in several weeks, after the proper copy-editing has taken place. That would also provide a chance to expand the page without rushing during an FAC. Giants2008 (17–14) 15:57, 7 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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