Smack Talk Quotes

“I now pronounce you all dead as fuck. You may now suck my dick”
― Aaron Kyle Andresen

“She had lunch with Betty yesterday," said Mark, "and Betty told her you said she had herpes."
"I never said herpes," I said.
"You must have said something," said Mark.
"I said she had an infection," I said.
"Well, she's furious at you," said Mark.
"She's furious at me," I said. "That's rich." All my life I had wanted to say, "That's rich." Now I finally had gotten my chance. "That's really rich," I said. "Listen, you bastard. You tell Thelma that if she keeps calling here, I'll tell Betty she has the clap."
"Clap hands," said Sam, and clapped his hands together.
"I'll get it into the Ear, too," I said. "What hopelessly tall and ungainly Washington hostess has a social disease, and we don't mean her usual climbing?”
― Nora Ephron, Heartburn

“Let me guess. Pickup trucks. Shotguns. I bet your family still believes the South will rise again. And you ditched them all for the first ticket out of town."
Insults spray like buckshot, but I ignore her scoffs. There's no point in telling her the truth---that my hometown is a literary mecca filled with poet laureates and Pulitzer winners, a university community more diverse and well-read than any she's probably visited, much less called home.”
― Julie Cantrell, Perennials