Dead Witch Walking Quotes

“What are you?" I rasped.
It smiled. "Whatever scares you.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Ivy turned. 'He bit you on the neck?' she said, deadpan serious but for her eyes. 'Oh, then it's got to be love. She won't let me bite her neck.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“You think my kids just popped out of the ground?”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Making a spell is easy. It's trusting you did it right that's hard.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“You bet your Grannie's Panties I will.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Bug? You sack of sweat stink. I've got farts that smell sweeter than you. Think you're better than me? Poop ice cream cones, do you? Call me a bug! Rachel, let me do him now.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I sighed. I hated the maze of bureaucracy with a passion, but I've found the best way to deal with it is to smile and act stupid. That way, no one gets confused.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Shouts of dismay rose as the red flesh splattered against the table. It was only a tomato, but one would think I was pulping a decaying heart by the noise the big, strong FIB officers were making.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Double damn. I was a harlot. I was a freaking vampire hussy.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Tink's a Disney whore' - Jenks”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“You can trust me to keep my word. I always keep my word, promises or threats.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Ivy shook her head with a look of disgust. "So you got caught. Big freaking deal. They knew who Rachel was, and you don't see her whining over it."
Actually, I had thrown my tantrum on the way home, which might have accounted for the odd noise Francis's car was making when I left it in the mall parking lot in the shade of a tree.
Jenks darted to hover three inches before Ivy's nose. His wings were red in anger. "You have a gardener trap you in a glass ball and see if it doesn't give you a new outlook on life, Little Miss Merry Sunshine."
My bad mood slipped away as I watched a four-inch pixy confront a vamp.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I'm going back!" I shouted, standing to put some distance between us in case I was yanking her chain too hard and she came after me. "I'll show him," I said, waving an arm. "I'll sneak in. I'll steal his freaking glasses and mail them back to him in a freaking birthday card!”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“People are motivated by three things, Rachel. Love …” A red marker clattered in with the rest. “Revenge …” A black one landed next to it. “And power,” she finished, tossing in a green one. “Trent has enough money to buy all three.”
“You forgot one,” I said, wondering if I should just keep my mouth shut. “Family.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Student food." His eyes went to the tomato on the sill. "Whatever's in the refrigerator over pasta.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“This is a witchocracy, not a democracy. Clear?”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Slicker than snot on a door handle.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I took a breath, seeing from across the room the rain on his eyelashes. A sudden need to brush them free filled me. I could almost feel the dampness of the rain on my fingers, how soft it would feel.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I would have sworn fairies were too big to fit into a frog’s mouth.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Rachel… I can still smell me thick on you. You’re like a big chocolate-chip cookie sitting all alone on an empty table. And when you get all agitated, it’s as if you just came out of the oven, all warm and gooey. I haven’t had a cookie in three years. Could you just calm down so you don’t smell so damn good?”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I really didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t as if Kotex made a pad for this kind of a thing.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Bug?” Jenks shouted, incensed. “You sack of sweat stink. I’ve got farts that smell sweeter than you. Think you’re better than me? Poop ice cream cones, do you?”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Everything was going too well. Something had to be wrong.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“All right, all right! Don’t lose your panties. No, wait. You don’t have any, do you?”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“I glanced at the pain charms draped around my neck, thinking I looked like a drunken prostitute at Mardi Gras.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Ticked, I looked across the street to the Starbucks catering to uptown snits who needed sixty different ways to brew a bean in order to not be happy with any of them.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“Jenks made a face as he levered himself up on the sill. “Much as I enjoy this horrific outpouring of estrogen, I’m going to go say good-bye to my wife. Let me know when you’re ready. I’ll be in the garden—probably next to the stink weed.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“On the far side of the human graves. Pink wings in the lowering moon as the earth slipped ’round her silver light. They reached our wall. Our lines were strung. We held our land. What’s said is done.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking

“What is it you want?”
My heart pounded at his promise of freedom. I followed his gaze to my hands and the dirt under my nails. “You,” I said.”
― Kim Harrison, Dead Witch Walking