Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/The Great American Bash (2005)/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Great American Bash (2005)

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I created it myself, and I have hopes of it becoming a Featured Article.

Cheers, -- iMatthew T.C. 23:22, 30 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy

[edit]
Completed Requests from Giggy
  • The lead doesn't really talk about reception/response/aftermath/whatever you call it.
  • The prose is generally OK, thoug there is some content that needs improvement. Eg. "This short-lived feud ended with Guerrero's unexpected death." - no more detail about that? It seems like a big deal and you should probably expand on it. And, at least, source it.
  • "Eddie Guerrero revealed the secret he had been keeping; he was Dominick's real father, and not Rey Mysterio." - could you make it a bit clearer that Mysterio was suspected of being father? (As opposed to being Mysterio's father)
  • I don't see the relevance/point of the last paragraph of the article.

Hopefully these comments help out a bit. —Giggy 11:24, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've completed your requests, thanks! -- iMatthew T.C. 19:33, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Peripitus

[edit]
Completed Requests from Peripitus

Just a few comments as this is a subject I'm not very knowledgeable about.

  • The first paragraph of the lead does not really introduce the subject well to a non-wrestling aficionado. Perhaps something more like:
The Great American Bash (2005) was a televised professional wrestling pay-per-view event produced by World Wrestling Entertainment. It was the second such annual event and took place on July 24, 2005 at the HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York. It featured wrestlers from the WWE Friday Night SmackDown program.
  • In the second paragraph it needs to made clear what the world championship is - I know there is a wikilink but a few words (like I changed Smackdown! to WWE Friday Night SmackDown) makes it much more comprehensible. The article does not make it clear that the name "world championship" is a promotional one not comparable to sporting world championships (or even the multitude of boxing ones)
  • The lead needs to better summarise the article, as the feud section is obviously seen as important a paragraph summarising this is needed.
  • The article really needs to, early on, ensure the reader understands the pro wrestling is a simulated sport and a piece of performance art. Not necessarily in those words but at the moment the article may be a bit surreal for someone not in the know.
  • I like the event section but I think that the background section requires a lot of thought; it is written rather in-universe. The section seems to discuss both real (the physical events) and apparently staged (things like JBL throwing his party thinking he'd won) without distinguishing them for the reader. At the beginning, it launches into talking about a feud without explaining what a pro wrestling feud entails. Later it mentions a "fatal six-way match" which must be explained - the literal interpretation is a bit over the top even for US TV.
  • It's usual when discussing people to write their full name the first time then to simply use their surname for future mentions, unless multiple people share the same name. John "Bradshaw" Layfield should then be Layfield after the first sentence of the Background section rather than JBL.
  • There are a fair few bits of convoluted wording or redundancy that need to be worked through - I've picked a few at random
    • "General Manager, Theodore Long, announced that there would be a fataldefine this six-way match for an unannounced and new top-tier SmackDown! championship, that was yet to be revealed" I think says the same thing more succinctly.
    • "During the match, JBL came out was victorious"
    • "After the match, JBL successfully attacked Batista by delivering a clothesline." - needs explanation unless he works for a hardware store.
    • "There was also a Another primary feud was between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero" - or is there a difference between primary and secondary feuds ?
    • "The feud between Batista and John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) continued after the Bash" - for clarity
  • There is a small number of sources selected to write the article (Online World of Wrestling and the WWE site primarily). Google news archives shows quite a few articles that appear to be about the 2005 event. Using these would help to remove the in-universe feel, provide more material and greater verifiability. For example I found that the WWE made the Great American Bash available free of charge to armed forces members and their families. Information like this is great for giving the subject real world context

- Peripitus (Talk) 07:55, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've completed your requests, and address a few that I had concerns about. -- iMatthew T.C. 19:34, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

SRX

[edit]
Completed Requests from SRX

Now if you want this to get to FAC, you might want to follow the peer review for SummerSlam (2003).

Lead
  • The Great American Bash (2005) was a televised professional wrestling pay-per-view event produced by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). - the pay-per-view was televised (literally), but was not shown on regular television, which is the meaning gained from this. You can continue this sentence by saying when/where it took place. Following this you explain what annual event it was with the link to the main GAB page.
  • The event featured wrestlers and other talent that performed on the SmackDown! program. Like all other pay-per-view events produced by the WWE, it was a scripted event that followed pre-existing storylines. - Now how would a non wrestling fan know what the SmackDown! program is? I recommend using the format I wrote in SummerSlam 2003 to explain this a bit better. Professional wrestling is a type of sports entertainment in which theatrical events are combined with a competitive sport. The buildup to the matches and the scenarios that took place before, during, and after the event, were planned by WWE's script writers. The event starred wrestlers from the SmackDown! brand: storyline expansions of the promotion where employees are assigned to wrestling brands under the WWE banner. (with links of course)
  • Batista versus John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) for the World Heavyweight Championship, a championship that was to be won by competing in matches against other opponents. - You don't need to explain how a championship is won/defended, it is basic that you have to do it in matches. You should state in what type of match it took place and who won (without stating the process of the scoring condition).
  • JBL won the match after Batista was disqualified, but did not win the title because a championship can only be won via pinfall or submission. - you should explain that pinfall and submission are scoring conditions in pro wrestling, also elaborate that these rules are only preset by WWE and not pro wrestling as a whole.
  • One of the featured matches on the card was Rey Mysterio versus Eddie Guerrero, which Mysterio won by pinfall with a cradle. - you should state that "card" is a preliminary match or just spell out undercard. Remove the process of scoring.
  • You should state how many undercard matches were really the "featured" undercard matches (the ones that got most hype). So then you can start this sentence with "The other was.." instead ofAnother primary match on the undercard was Orlando Jordan versus Chris Benoit for the WWE United States Championship, which Jordan won by pinfall with a roll-up. (remove scoring condition).
  • The reason I say remove the scoring condition is because it gives to much detail, which is elaborated in the event. The lead should just summarize the main points.
  • The third paragraph should be the reception, but this has none, so one should be integrated.

This is my review for the lead, I will go through the rest of the article soon afterwards.--SRX 22:01, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Background
  • The Great American Bash event featured a card, which contained matches that involved different wrestlers from pre-existing feuds. All of the pre-existing feuds were scripted, while wrestlers portrayed either a villainous or fan favorite gimmick. As wrestlers portrayed their scripted characters, they followed a series of events which generally built tension, leading to a wrestling match. Every match at The Great American Bash had a pre-existing feud involving scripted plots and storylines. The name of a wrestler's character was not always the person's birth name. Often, wrestlers used a stage name to portray their character. - I like how this is written, but you are saying too much with what you can say in about 1 sentence, and that one or two sentences can be in the lead. The reason I say this is because you want the reader to read the entire article, and the lead is what every reader (generally) reads first, and the way you wrote this can replace that one sentence you have in the lead. (my 2 $)
  • The main feud going into The Great American Bash was between Batista and John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) over the World Heavyweight Championship. - this is generally the old format of pay-per-view writing. (Just a suggestion) because you explained what pro wrestling is/how it works doesn't mean you can write the entire article in wrestling jargon, you have to be more elaborate. Use "staged rivalry" instead of feud. Or you can start this sentence by saying "The main event at The Great American Bash was a standard wrestling match for the World Heavyweight Championship, in which, Batista defended the championship (or title) against John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL). Then you begin the next sentence with "the buildup to the match began when..." or "the hype to the match began when..."
  • As a part of the 2005 WWE Draft, WWE Champion, John Cena was drafted to the Raw brand, taking the title with him and leaving SmackDown! without a top-tier championship. - let me do this as an outside reader "what is the draft?" what is a "top-tier championship". These are things you should elaborate better.
  • General Manager, Theodore Long, announced a six-way match for an unannounced and new top-tier SmackDown! championship. - Attempt to avoid too much jargon, what is a six way match? if you elaborate top-tier above, it is okay to use it here.
  • On the June 30 edition of SmackDown!, the match took place between JBL, Chris Benoit, Booker T, Muhammad Hasasan, and The Undertaker. - Like an FAC reviewer told me, it should be noted that SmackDown! is one of WWE's television programs, and edition should be replaced with "episode."
  • The following week on SmackDown!, Batista faced Christian in a non-title match. - generally you don't need to say "non-title", one because it really isn't needed, second because a non-reader wouldn't understand that term.
  • After the match, JBL and Orlando Jordan tried to attack Batista, who countered the attack. - countered the attack? How so?
  • On the July 14 edition of SmackDown!, Batista defeated Jordan in a singles match match after delivering a Batista Bomb. After the match, JBL successfully attacked Batista by executing a clothesline. - well if you take my advice about writing "standard wrestling match" you can just use here instead of "singles match" use "standard match." Question, wasn't the "non-title" match also a standard match? If so, that should be noted. Again, replace "edition" w/ "episode"
  • The following week on SmackDown!, JBL threw himself a celebration party with the belief that he had already won the World Heavyweight Championship. Batista appeared and performed a spinebuster on Jordan as JBL fled from the ring. - I'm not sure if the Cabinet was around during this time, but if so, you should note that they were in the ring, because you just say that Jordan got a spinebuster, but where did he come from?
  • There was also a feud was between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero. - umm, remove the second "was"
  • At No Way Out, Guerrero and Mysterio won the WWE Tag Team Championships from The Basham Brothers. - the WWE Tag Team Championship refers to both titles as a whole, so you don't need to pluralize "championship."
  • At WrestleMania, Mysterio defeated Guerrero in a singles match. - if you take my advice use "standard match" instead.
  • On the April 21, 2005 edition of SmackDown!, MNM defeated Mysterio and Guerrero to capture the tag team championships. - poor word choice, "capture," I'm pretty sure they "won" them.
  • On the April 28, 2005 edition of SmackDown!, Guerrero and Mysterio were given a rematch for the titles, but MNM retained them after pinning Mysterio for the win. - were given a rematch by who? They just can't be given a rematch from out of nowhere. Also, where did this match take place on the same episode of SmackDown or what?
  • At Judgment Day, Mysterio defeated Guerrero by disqualification, and on the June 30 edition of SmackDown!, the angle between Guerrero and Mysterio continued when Guerrero threatened to reveal a secret concerning Mysterio's son Dominick. - what is angle?
  • A match was made between Mysterio and Guerrero for The Great American Bash, where if Mysterio won, Eddie could not reveal the secret, but if Guerrero won, he would be able to reveal the secret on live television. - source?
  • I feel that this feud is not well elaborated, it just gives information about matches and nothing about the feud itself, like why did the wrestle each other at WM 21 and Judgment Day?
    • The same reason any wrestling match is made and see the lead. Wrestlers portrayed either a villainous or fan favorite gimmick as they followed a series of events which generally built tension, leading to a wrestling match. --> There was a villain and fan favorite, and they had a tense feud leading to a wrestling match at WM 21 AND Judgment Day.
  • A match was then made between Benoit and Jordan for The Great American Bash. - source? and who made the match?
  • The U.S title feud can also be elaborated, there has to be more information to the feud itself.
  • Question, why in the first para. you use "June 30 edition of SmackDown" but in the second para. you use April 18, 2005 edition of SmackDown!?
Take these as suggestions and not mandatory changes. Cheers and good luck, I will review the event section afterwards.SRX 15:28, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

LAX

[edit]
Completed Requests from LAX
Lead
  • "Including its scripted buildup, The Great American Bash (2005) grossed over $375,000 ticket sales from an attendance of 8,000 and received about 233,000 pay-per-view buys, the same amount as the following year's event." – Please elaborate "Including its scripted builup".
Background
  • "All of the pre-existing feuds are scripted, and during the feuds, wrestlers portray a variety of different villains and fan favorites." --> "All the pre-existing feuds were scripted, while wrestlers portrayed either a villainous or fan favorite gimmick." This is just my two cents.
  • "As the wrestlers portray their scripted characters, they follow as series of events that generally builds tension, leading to a wrestling match." --> "As wrestlers portrayed their scripted characters, they followed as series of events which generally built tension, leading to a wrestling match." Again, this is just my two cents.
  • "The names of the wrestling characters are not always the person's birth name. Often, wrestlers will use a stage name to portray their character." --> "The name of a wrestler's character was not always the person's birth name. Often, wrestlers used a stage name to portray their character."
  • Get rid of the example. That is not needed.
  • "...find out who the better wrestler was." – The source that proceeds that statement doesn't say that. Either remove it or get a source that supports it.
  • "...continued to beg Eddie..." – Change "Eddie" to "Guerrero"
This is all I really have time for. I'll got through the event and aftermath later on. --LAX 12:03, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ealdgyth

[edit]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 15:58, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

The Rambling Man

[edit]
Completed Requests from The Rambling Man

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

  • Images, per WP:MOS#Images - "if an image displays satisfactorily at the default size, it is recommended that no explicit size be specified" - so I imagine just using upright will suffice in your image syntax.
  • I wouldn't have sortable Results - it's free text so what use is the sort?
  • "SmackDown!." not sure about the extra period there.
  • "A match was made between Mysterio and Guerrero for The Great American Bash, where if Mysterio won, Eddie could not reveal the secret, but if Guerrero won, he would be able to reveal the secret on live television." - reference?
  • "It remained on the chart for four consecutive weeks, until the week of December 15, 2005, when it ranked 13th" - so it was still on the chart, only 13th...
  • (c) needs an explanation.
  • What does # mean in the results table?
  • " (with Sharmell) " - typo?
  • External link could use a bullet.

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:53, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've completed your requested, thanks! -- iMatthew T.C. 19:29, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Nikki311

[edit]
Completed Requests from Nikki311

Lead

  • "The main event was Batista versus John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) for the World Heavyweight Championship, a championship that was to be won by competing in matches against other opponents." - This doesn't make sense to me. It makes it sound like to win the championship, Batista or JBL had to win matches against other people instead of each other.
  • From the lead: "which contained matches that involved different wrestlers from pre-existing scripted feuds" and "Every match at The Great American Bash had a pre-existing feud involving scripted plots and storylines." - That's sort of repetitive, no?
  • "The Great American Bash (2005) grossed over $375,000 ticket sales" - It shouldn't be written like that. Either remove "(2005)" or change it to "The event grossed..."

Background

  • "in which, Batista defended the championship" - The comma between which and Batista is not needed.
  • "Batista defeated Jordan in a standard match match after delivering a Batista Bomb" - Typo. Also, not the first mention of a standard wrestling match (see first sentence of that same section)

Event

  • Personally, I hate when the moves are written as "He delivered the move to his opponent". Do you deliver moves to opponents? It sounds really informal. I much prefer "He performed the move on his opponent".
  • There are several moves that aren't linked: scissors kick, powerslam, German suplex, etc - FA reviewers are going to say that they are jargon and need to be explained.
  • "The only way to win a "Bra and Panties" match is to strip your opponent's clothes off until they were left in their underwear." - Inconsistent tense.
  • "Wilson delivered a suplex to Melina and attempted to pulled off her pants" --> "Wilson delivered a suplex to Melina and attempted to pull off her pants"

Aftermath

  • "This short-lived feud ended with Guerrero's unexpected death." - Maybe add when Guerrero died?
  • "The World Heavyweight Championship main event match was rated three out of ten. The match between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero received the highest match rating of eight out of ten." - Connect these sentences to sound less choppy --> "The World Heavyweight Championship main event match was rated three out of ten, and the match between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero received the highest match rating of eight out of ten."
  • "The DVD reached seventh on Billboard's DVD Sales Chart for recreational sports during the week of October 8, 2003, and rose to the fourth spot the following week." - Comma splice. Either remove the comma after 2003 or add the word "it" between "and" and "rose".

Results

  • In response to Rambling Man's question, maybe # should be changed to "Order" or something to that effect.

Hope that helps. Nikki311 18:37, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Completed your requests, thanks Nikki! -- iMatthew T.C. 19:13, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments by LAX

[edit]
Event
  • I would suggest noting that Undertaker powerbombed Hassan through the entrance stage. And that Hassan was kayfabe injured as a result (in the aftermath section).
  • I don't really think The Mexicools versus The bWo was a "main event match". I would move that up to the plim matches.
  • What is a "Three Amigos"?
  • "Frog Splash" should be lowercase, as should "Special Guest Referee".
  • Could you use any other word choice besides "retaliated". You tend to use that a lot.
  • Also, what does "change hands" mean? --LAX 19:43, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I will get to the aftermath and complete my review later on today. --LAX 19:04, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Gavyn Sykes

[edit]
Lead
Background
  • What "brand" means in this context might warrant an explanation.
  • Only five wrestlers are listed to determine a new SD champion. Was that a typo or is there is a missing name?
  • "After the match, JBL and Orlando Jordan tried to attack Batista, who countered the attack by attacking Batista instead."
    • Not sure what that means. It sounds like Batista attacked himself based on the wording, which obviously isn't what happened.
  • Batista Bomb needs a link and/or explanation, as does spinebuster.
Event
  • Define "cruiserweight."

Hope this helps, Gavyn Sykes (talk) 22:09, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've completed your requests, thanks! -- iMatthew T.C. 22:29, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Glad to help. :) Gavyn Sykes (talk) 22:56, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
During your edits, you removed the explanation and wikilink for Powerslam. Why? And wasn't the weight limit for the CW title 215 pounds, not 200? Gavyn Sykes (talk) 23:00, 3 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't remove it, I moved it up to "Batista Bomb" as it is the same things. Also, per Cruiserweight, it is 200 and I was unable to find a source for either. -- iMatthew T.C. 10:53, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Wait, what? A powerslam and a powerbomb are not the same thing. The result is the same, but the setup for each move is different and each has a separate article. Gavyn Sykes (talk) 14:48, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

|}}

D.M.N.

[edit]

Only one comment: Don't the Results need to be wikilinked like in all the other PPV articles? Consistency is what we need. D.M.N. (talk) 08:50, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well per a Wikipedia guideline, WP:OVERLINK, it should not be linked twice in the same articles. -- iMatthew T.C. 10:38, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
OK, but shouldn't it be like this in all PPV articles then? D.M.N. (talk) 11:19, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Yes it should be. -- iMatthew T.C. 20:59, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

SRX (event)

[edit]
Event
  • Before the pay-per-view went live, a match took place on the Sunday Night HEAT pre-show between Paul London and Nunzio for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship (a championship that can only be competed for by cruiserweights--those wrestlers who weigh less than two-hundred pounds), which London won to retain the title.
    • HEAT should be written in regular font per WP:PW/MOS and WP:MOS.
    • I find it redundant to explain the concept of the championship, it's really not needed, its like saying the tag team championship can only be contested between tag teams, which is not true, and the cruiserweight championship has gone under many different weight limits.
  • The first match on the card was between MNM (Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury) (with Melina) and The Legion of Doom (Heidenreich and Road Warrior Animal) for the WWE Tag Team Championship. During the match, Nitro hit Animal with one of the championship belts, but Animal retaliated by executing a powerslam to Nitro. Animal and Heidenreich performed the doomsday device, performed by one wrestler hoisting the opponent on their shoulders as another wrestler climbs the ring post to the top turnbuckle and delivers a flying attack onto the opponent, on Nitro and got the pin to win the match and capture the titles -
    • MNM is already linked in the background
    • Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercuty needs to be written in the background section with links to their respective articles.
    • What is a "powerslam"?
    • Instead of "with", you should use "managed"
  • The next match was between Booker T (with Sharmell) and Christian. Booker T won the match after a scissors kick, a kicking technique that resembles a pair of scissors
    • Like I said above, maybe "managed by" is a better word here than "with"
    • is there a better way to elaborate "scissors kick", not getting much out it from the current explanation.
  • Jordan avoided the attack and instead forced Benoit to run head first into the exposed turnbuckle. Jordan got the pin to win the match and retain the title
    • Head first, hmm, is there a better way to write that.
  • The fourth match was between The Undertaker and Muhammad Hassan (with Daivari). During Hassan's entrance, men in masks walked out to represent his Arabic culture. The men who appeared for Hassan's entrance interfered in the match, but Undertaker retaliated and cleared the ring of all of the masked men. Midway through the match, Undertaker attempted a tombstone onto Hassan, but Hassan broke free of the hold and attempted to clothesline Undertaker. The Undertaker countered by performing a chokeslam, performed by wrapping your hand around your opponent's throat, lifting them up and slamming them down the the ring mat. Undertaker scored the pinfall on Hassan to win the match.
    • Like I said above "managed by" might be a better word(s) than "with"
    • "cleared the ring," as an outside reader that sounds awkward, can that be reworded.
    • What is a tombstone?
    • What is a clothesline?
    • Maybe you should say, "The Undertaker countered the attack, by ...etc."
    • The tombstone is not a submission hold, so how could Hassan break it if it's not a hold?
  • At the match's end, Crazy performed a moonsault onto Richards, and Psicosis performed a legdrop, performed by one wrestler jumping and landing on the fallen opponent's chest, throat, face, or head. Psicosis proceeded to pin Richards and win the match for his team.
    • What is a moonsault?
    • "proceeded to pin Richards" ---> "proceeded to pinning Richards"
  • The following match was between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, where the stipulation was that if Guerrero won the match, he would reveal the secret he has been hiding from the public that Mysterio and Guerrero's families both did not want revealed. If Mysterio won, however, Guerrero would not reveal the secret. Guerrero performed the Three Amigos, three vertical suplexes, to Mysterio at twice in the match. Guerrero performed a frog splash, which is performed by leaping from the top rope and stretching out, then bringing one's feet and hands in and outward before landing atop of your opponent, onto Mysterio. Guerrero then tried to score the pinfall, but Mysterio countered and pinned Guerrero to win the match. As a result, Guerrero was not able to reveal the secret.[20][21]
    • What is a "vertical suplex"?
    • "Guerrero performed the Three Amigos to Mysterio at twice in the match" --> That makes no sense. Reword?
    • How did Mysterio counter?
  • The seventh match was between Melina and Torrie Wilson (with Candice Michelle as special guest referee), in a Bra and Panties match. The only way to win a "Bra and Panties match" is to strip your opponent's clothes off until they are left in their underwear. At the start of the match, Melina pulled off Wilson's shirt to reveal her bra, but Wilson retaliated and pulled off Melina's shirt. Wilson executed a suplex to Melina and attempted to pull off her pants, but Melina countered the attack by pulling Torrie's pants off to win the match. Afterwards, Michelle stripped Melina and then removed her own clothes, as well.[20][21]
    • "as special guest referee" ---> "as the special guest referee"
    • "What is a suplex? (If this is already explained earlier, no need in doing it again)
    • I don't see why Michelle's involvement at the end is notable in any way.
  • was between John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) (with Orlando Jordan) and Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship. Jordan interfered by attempting to hit Batista with a steel chair, but Batista grabbed the chair from him. Batista hit Jordan and JBL with the chair, and JBL was declared the winner, via disqualification. In WWE, a title cannot change hands by pinfall or disqualification (the ultimate scoring conditions in professional wrestling matches). As a result, Batista retained the title.[20][21][23]
    • "with" ---> "managed by"
    • Jordan interfered by attempting to hit Batista with a steel chair, but Batista grabbed the chair from him. Batista hit Jordan and JBL with the chair, and JBL was declared the winner, via disqualification. - these are so closely connected but they do not flow in transition, needs to be fixed.
    • I'm pretty sure a title can change hands by pinfall.
    • "the ultimate scoring conditions"? What is meant by that?

A lot of prose issues pertaining to jargon and in-universe, that's my review of the event.SRX 14:08, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Requests/Concerns addressed. -- iMatthew T.C. 00:23, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/The_Great_American_Bash_(2005)/archive1&oldid=1142589626"