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How to Talk to an Autistic Kid
Kids with autism have a hard time communicating, which can be frustrating for autistic kids and for their peers. In this intimate yet practical book, author Daniel Stefanski, a fourteen-year-old boy with autism, helps readers understand why autistic kids act the way they do and offers specific suggestions on how to get along with them. While many "typical" kids know someone with autism, they sometimes misunderstand the behavior of autistic kids, which can seem antisocial or even offensive–even if the person with autism really wants to be friends. The result of this confusion is often painful for those with bullying, teasing, excluding, or ignoring. How to Talk to an Autistic is an antidote. Written by an autistic kid for non-autistic kids, it provides personal stories, knowledgeable explanations, and supportive advice–all in Daniel's unique and charming voice and accompanied by lively illustrations. Always straightforward and often humorous, How to Talk to an Autistic Kid will give readers–kids and adults alike–the confidence and tools needed to befriend autistic kids. They'll also feel like they've made a friend already–Daniel.
48 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2011
About the author
Daniel Stefanski
2 books19 followersDaniel Stefanski is 14 years old and a middle school student. He has a passion for writing and drawing and likes to declare proudly “I'm autistic and artistic.” A talented golfer, Daniel has participated in the Special Olympics and other competitive golf events. At age four, he was adopted from an orphanage in Bulgaria and flew 18 hours with his new mom to his new home in Valparaiso, Indiana. An animal lover and shelter volunteer, Daniel is surrounded by the love of his mom, dad, stepfather, brother, and five dogs.
from http://www.freespirit.com/catalog/aut...
from http://www.freespirit.com/catalog/aut...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
October 31, 2012
I picked this up for my younger son (he's 9) to read, because I thought it might help him understand his older brother a little better.
See, my oldest son (he's 12) was diagnosed with PDDNOS when he was 6. That means he's on the autism spectrum, but it's not as noticeable as it is with some kids. Basically, he just gets pegged as a weirdo. A lot.
Why?
Because he does weird stuff, of course!
Or at least, that's what my 9 year old thinks.
This book was written by a 14 year old autistic boy, named Daniel Stefanski.
I have to say, it does a good job of hitting the basics.
My younger son and I read it together, and it was easy to discuss the 'tips' Daniel gives, because it was written in such a kid-friendly way.
Language difficulties are a huge problem for kids like this, and the section What I hear was really pertinent. In the book, a little boy is saying, "My teacher is a thousand years old", and the other boy is picturing an extremely old man. We've had a lot of personal experience with stuff like that. I remember one time we were trying to make my son feel better about an eye appointment, and my husband told him, "Don't worry about the eye drops, you won't feel a thing". This led to hysteria, because he thought the eye drops were going to numb his entire body.
Yes, seriously.
What I don't see was another section we talked a lot about. Most people don't think about how much we read body language for social cues, but I've learned over the years that it's a HUGE issue if you can't.
One of the things we talked out was how difficult it is for my oldest to figure out if people are kidding or not.
If you can't tell the difference between
Good job! (translation: You are awesome!)
and
Good job. (translation: You are a dumbass.)
then you have no idea what the appropriate response back should be.
I remember one time, when my oldest was about 8, he came crying to me at the pool, because this other little girl was being mean to him. I asked him what happened, and he said that she was saying that he was a 'slow swimmer'.
So what did she say exactly, honey?
She said, 'You can't catch me!".
Um. Yeah, it actually took me a while to convince him that the nice little girl just wanted him to play tag in the water, because he wasn't buying it at first. As far as he was concerned, she was a mean kid who had it out for him. In case you're wondering, he finally gave her another chance, and they spent the rest of the afternoon happily smacking each other on the back.
The entire book is is a fun way to help kids who don't have autism understand a bit more about kids that do. The main goal is to hopefully show that just because someone is quirky or odd, doesn't mean that they don't have feelings. I know it wasn't written especially for siblings, but it helped us out because it was so short and to the point. There isn't much (if any) medical terminology in the book, either. Bonus!
Recommended as a good conversation starter!
See, my oldest son (he's 12) was diagnosed with PDDNOS when he was 6. That means he's on the autism spectrum, but it's not as noticeable as it is with some kids. Basically, he just gets pegged as a weirdo. A lot.
Why?
Because he does weird stuff, of course!
Or at least, that's what my 9 year old thinks.
This book was written by a 14 year old autistic boy, named Daniel Stefanski.
I have to say, it does a good job of hitting the basics.
My younger son and I read it together, and it was easy to discuss the 'tips' Daniel gives, because it was written in such a kid-friendly way.
Language difficulties are a huge problem for kids like this, and the section What I hear was really pertinent. In the book, a little boy is saying, "My teacher is a thousand years old", and the other boy is picturing an extremely old man. We've had a lot of personal experience with stuff like that. I remember one time we were trying to make my son feel better about an eye appointment, and my husband told him, "Don't worry about the eye drops, you won't feel a thing". This led to hysteria, because he thought the eye drops were going to numb his entire body.
Yes, seriously.
What I don't see was another section we talked a lot about. Most people don't think about how much we read body language for social cues, but I've learned over the years that it's a HUGE issue if you can't.
One of the things we talked out was how difficult it is for my oldest to figure out if people are kidding or not.
If you can't tell the difference between
Good job! (translation: You are awesome!)
and
Good job. (translation: You are a dumbass.)
then you have no idea what the appropriate response back should be.
I remember one time, when my oldest was about 8, he came crying to me at the pool, because this other little girl was being mean to him. I asked him what happened, and he said that she was saying that he was a 'slow swimmer'.
So what did she say exactly, honey?
She said, 'You can't catch me!".
Um. Yeah, it actually took me a while to convince him that the nice little girl just wanted him to play tag in the water, because he wasn't buying it at first. As far as he was concerned, she was a mean kid who had it out for him. In case you're wondering, he finally gave her another chance, and they spent the rest of the afternoon happily smacking each other on the back.
The entire book is is a fun way to help kids who don't have autism understand a bit more about kids that do. The main goal is to hopefully show that just because someone is quirky or odd, doesn't mean that they don't have feelings. I know it wasn't written especially for siblings, but it helped us out because it was so short and to the point. There isn't much (if any) medical terminology in the book, either. Bonus!
Recommended as a good conversation starter!
June 20, 2017
This was a really nice an interestimg read. I plan on reading this to my kids to help them understand their little brother a little more.
August 17, 2017
I felt that this book was really informing about autistic children and really eye opening I would re-read this book in the future.
December 13, 2019
This is a great little book written by a 14-year-old boy with autism. He explains autism well and provides really helpful info for kids or adults. I kinda want to give this book to everyone in my daughter’s life. :)
Read
December 23, 2022While this book is intended for neurotypical kids, I know plenty of adults who could stand to read it, too.
April 11, 2011
How To Talk To An Autistic Kid is a very endearing picture book with wonderful suggestions on how to speak and interact with an autistic kid in a more respectful and kind manner. The book highlights the importance of really accepting and treating autistic kids just like any other kid, because even though they are different in some ways, they are very similar in other ways. It also teaches kids to not be afraid of befriending an autistic kid. Written by a 14-year-old autistic kid himself, this book offers a unique point of view that you really won’t get from mainstream books about autism that are more impersonal and make you feel like you are just being given information. What’s great about this book is that you can put a face to this autistic disorder, of someone who is actually experiencing it first-hand. I don’t know if you can get any more sincere than that! How To Talk To An Autistic Kid really personalizes the whole reading experience in an extremely engaging way. Daniel tackles a sensitive subject with grace as well as humor at times. This book offers priceless advice in a fun, very approachable, easy-to-read set-up, with easy-to-follow tips, and includes many colorful illustrations to reiterate each point. And by the end of the book, you really feel like you got to know Daniel, who is more than just an autistic kid.
Daniel does a great job of really pouring his heart out in this book in an effort to help make the lives of autistic kids a little easier and better socially, not only at school, but any place where they are among non-autistic peers. Adults will also find this book helpful and it will heighten their understanding of autistic behavior in kids and learn what to do in certain situations. I am really glad Daniel decided to write this book. By doing this, his contributions to the autistic society will be endless. And even decades from now, autistic kids as well as non-autistic kids will still be benefiting from his words of wisdom, and he will have touched so many lives because of it. Daniel is truly an inspiration.
So whether you are a teacher, classmate, parent, sibling, relative, friend, librarian, or neighbor of an autistic kid or you just want to learn more about autistic behavior and communication, I HIGHLY recommend that you read this book. Because if you don’t, you will really be missing out on something very special and important.
If you are a parent of an autistic kid, let your kid’s school know that this book is a must have. It will really help your child feel comfortable and accepted by their classmates at school.
Daniel does a great job of really pouring his heart out in this book in an effort to help make the lives of autistic kids a little easier and better socially, not only at school, but any place where they are among non-autistic peers. Adults will also find this book helpful and it will heighten their understanding of autistic behavior in kids and learn what to do in certain situations. I am really glad Daniel decided to write this book. By doing this, his contributions to the autistic society will be endless. And even decades from now, autistic kids as well as non-autistic kids will still be benefiting from his words of wisdom, and he will have touched so many lives because of it. Daniel is truly an inspiration.
So whether you are a teacher, classmate, parent, sibling, relative, friend, librarian, or neighbor of an autistic kid or you just want to learn more about autistic behavior and communication, I HIGHLY recommend that you read this book. Because if you don’t, you will really be missing out on something very special and important.
If you are a parent of an autistic kid, let your kid’s school know that this book is a must have. It will really help your child feel comfortable and accepted by their classmates at school.
July 18, 2011
How To talk to an Autistic Kid is an awesome book. It is written by 14 year old Daniel Stefanski, who is on the spectrum. He has done a remarkable job educating both his peers and adults. It is a short book, some may call it a picture book for the middle school age. I think we can all learn from it. I am raising an autistic child. It is not easy watching him struggle to have conversations with other who do not understand. I would like to ask every teacher out there to get this book and find a way to share it with your classroom.
I love the way Daniel talks about how autistic children "hear" and "see", (or not see), things. He also brought up important things like getting stuck, not remembering to share, some of the different behaviors that some autistic children do and even the sensory issues. I love the section on Be a good friend where Daniel says, Don't feel sorry for me. I have autism, but I'm cool with who I am." This is my wish for Jr. Daniel reminds us to reach out to children with autism. He also asks us to stand up for children with autism from the bullies and then tells us how. And he calls us the hero. To me he is the hero.
I love the way Daniel talks about how autistic children "hear" and "see", (or not see), things. He also brought up important things like getting stuck, not remembering to share, some of the different behaviors that some autistic children do and even the sensory issues. I love the section on Be a good friend where Daniel says, Don't feel sorry for me. I have autism, but I'm cool with who I am." This is my wish for Jr. Daniel reminds us to reach out to children with autism. He also asks us to stand up for children with autism from the bullies and then tells us how. And he calls us the hero. To me he is the hero.
Read
November 6, 2016I read this book because I don't find a lot of books about autism that I like, especially when they're directed at youth. Though I'm an autistic adult, I like looking through resources to find ones I might suggest to others, especially when it comes to educating themselves or their children.
This book was well written, gives you all the basic information about autism while not overwhelming you and also letting you know that everyone is different. I think it's a good resource for an introduction to autism and behaviour around people with disabilities (both how to act around someone with autism and how someone with autism might act).
I didn't find any ableist language or any shaming in the tone, which is often an issue. I'd recommend it.
This book was well written, gives you all the basic information about autism while not overwhelming you and also letting you know that everyone is different. I think it's a good resource for an introduction to autism and behaviour around people with disabilities (both how to act around someone with autism and how someone with autism might act).
I didn't find any ableist language or any shaming in the tone, which is often an issue. I'd recommend it.
June 2, 2024
A great resource and helpful for children ages 4-12 (give or take).
July 6, 2016
Genre: Juvenile nonfiction, interpersonal relationships/ friendships
Format: Print
Plot: Daniel explains how to talk to kids with autism - kids like him. He explains why he can act and talks a little different, and how other kids can respond to these differences.
Readers advisory:
Review citation: Booklist 2011
Source: Children's Core Collection
Recommended age: 7-12
Format: Print
Plot: Daniel explains how to talk to kids with autism - kids like him. He explains why he can act and talks a little different, and how other kids can respond to these differences.
Readers advisory:
Review citation: Booklist 2011
Source: Children's Core Collection
Recommended age: 7-12
June 22, 2011
Daniel Stefanski is a 14-year-old autistic kid. He gives some great advice about understanding and accepting autism.
July 12, 2011
Simple put...this is one of the best books I've found so far in helping kids better understand what it's like to have autism.
September 20, 2014
This helped me understand better. It's hard being autistic. It helped me be able to talk and understand my younger brother in a whole different way.
July 19, 2021
This is a short book written by a 14-year-old autistic boy.
The book has some simple text to go along with illustrations that explain the basics of autism to someone who doesn't know what autism is.
I felt like there were some important things about autism that were left out or that weren't explained very well.
I didn't like the generic stereotypes he used to describe autism. For example, he just mentioned he saw someone with autism flap their arms. (He himself hums). He explains that the person he saw might have been nervous or upset about something or might not realize what they are doing. There is more to it than just that. He didn't explain that this is called "stimming." Stimming is a self-stimulatory behavior that generally includes repeated actions or activities which either excite or calm the sensory nervous system.
Autistic people don't just stim when they are nervous. Stimming can:
1. Block out excess sensory input
2. Provide extra sensory input when needed
3. Manage positive or negative emotions
4. Some stems serve the purpose of soothing and comforting
My autistic son mostly stims when he is happy and excited about something.
The book does have a good message about being nice to people with autism and telling them to reach out and be a friend and not a bully.
The book has some simple text to go along with illustrations that explain the basics of autism to someone who doesn't know what autism is.
I felt like there were some important things about autism that were left out or that weren't explained very well.
I didn't like the generic stereotypes he used to describe autism. For example, he just mentioned he saw someone with autism flap their arms. (He himself hums). He explains that the person he saw might have been nervous or upset about something or might not realize what they are doing. There is more to it than just that. He didn't explain that this is called "stimming." Stimming is a self-stimulatory behavior that generally includes repeated actions or activities which either excite or calm the sensory nervous system.
Autistic people don't just stim when they are nervous. Stimming can:
1. Block out excess sensory input
2. Provide extra sensory input when needed
3. Manage positive or negative emotions
4. Some stems serve the purpose of soothing and comforting
My autistic son mostly stims when he is happy and excited about something.
The book does have a good message about being nice to people with autism and telling them to reach out and be a friend and not a bully.
October 26, 2018
My daughter was recently diagnosed with autism at the age of 9. She is very intelligent, reads a lot, and has an expansive vocabulary. She will tell people she has autism but I have a feeling that she didn't really understand what that is or what it means for her.
I found very few books at our library talking about autism that are actually intended for autistic children. Most are for siblings of autistic children to help them understand why their brother or sister acts differently and that it is okay to feel all the feels about it.
How to Talk to an Autistic Kid isn't aimed at autistic kids either but the author has autism and wrote the book for neurotypical kids. It was a great conversation starter with my daughter though as he describes his personal brand of autism (since no two kids with autism are the same) and she was able to identify ways in which she interacted similarly or differently. I think this validated her experience because she realizes that their are other kids out there who share similar struggles and gifts.
Whether you are trying to understand a child with autism, start a conversation with a kid with autism, or teaching neurotypical kids about kids with autism, How To Talk to An Autistic Kid is a great place to start.
I found very few books at our library talking about autism that are actually intended for autistic children. Most are for siblings of autistic children to help them understand why their brother or sister acts differently and that it is okay to feel all the feels about it.
How to Talk to an Autistic Kid isn't aimed at autistic kids either but the author has autism and wrote the book for neurotypical kids. It was a great conversation starter with my daughter though as he describes his personal brand of autism (since no two kids with autism are the same) and she was able to identify ways in which she interacted similarly or differently. I think this validated her experience because she realizes that their are other kids out there who share similar struggles and gifts.
Whether you are trying to understand a child with autism, start a conversation with a kid with autism, or teaching neurotypical kids about kids with autism, How To Talk to An Autistic Kid is a great place to start.
March 22, 2023
I am very glad that this book exists! It was written by a 14-year-old boy named Daniel Stefanski. Daniel expresses his personal experience with autism as he teaches readers how to be good friends to people with autism. This very informative book is great for anyone who knows someone with autism and wants to know how to be their friend or for anyone who just wants to learn more about what autism is. I only wish the illustrations to go along with each point were also by Daniel, because as he says, he is "autistic and artistic", but they are by a different artist. Still, the illustrations are fun and quirky. I also like the inclusion of talk bubbles and quotations as a way to get points across.
March 17, 2020
I am a 1/1 para-professional who is working from home for the next few weeks. Since I can't work with the student directly I'm trying to work on as much professional development as I can. This was a fast book that is geared toward kids but is useful for anyone, especially those who don't have experience working with autistic children. Daniel gives advice not only to his particular likes/needs but mentions how no two kids are exactly the same and what he likes may be completely different from another child. Very fast read. I borrowed it from my local public library using Overdrive and the Libby app.
February 5, 2019
“I want to be included just like anyone else. I may be different, but I’m a person, too […] Please don’t ignore autistic kids just because they’re different.” In How to Talk to an Autistic Kid, 14-year-old Daniel Stefanski, who was diagnosed with Autism at age 9, provides a guidebook with short chapters about what Autism means to him and how he wants those with Autism to be treated. The implied reader of this book is a middle school child who does not have autism, as Stefanski focuses much of the lightly-illustrated book on how to engage and develop a friendship with someone with Autism.
July 18, 2019
Wonderful! Great information, written by an expert on the topic. This will hopefully help other kids and even adults understand their friends with autism. It's well written in easy to understand language.
April 14, 2020
Great book written by a talented young boy. Daniel has taught me so much, I hope all schools read this book with their young students to help them understand autism better. As an adult, I wished I had read something like this earlier.
February 19, 2023
"I hope fewer autistic kids will feel lonely."
Very cute! I wish it was longer, but it was very concise instructions lol. I didn't realize it was actually written and I assume illustrated by a 14y/o!
Very cute! I wish it was longer, but it was very concise instructions lol. I didn't realize it was actually written and I assume illustrated by a 14y/o!
August 17, 2017
My daughter and I read this book together today. It is such great insight into autism. And definitely makes me feel empowered to be be friendlier to others around me with autism. Great book!
May 24, 2018
For kids by a kid.
July 10, 2018
excellent resource for anyone just starting out in the autistic world
July 20, 2018
Excellent book for parents and educators alike for teaching tolerance and the importance of friendship.
January 10, 2019
Amazing and a good book to just get a quick idea of the child or any1 ty
January 28, 2019
Simple and effective. Good for kids (AND adults) 7 & up!
July 24, 2019
This book made me smile :)
April 30, 2020
If you have an autistic student this is a wonderful book!! I will be reading this book often
November 27, 2022
It is a great book written by a great autistic and artistic kid the language is so easy and clear , it is a down to earth book. I felt every bit of it
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews