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534 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 30, 2014
Two addicts. One epic love story.
We have consumed each other from day one. And we truly never let go.
“I speak for everyone here today,” he tells us, “when I say that you two- Lily and Loren- are the strongest people we’ve all ever had the honor to meet.”
“I knew from the beginning that we’d be addicted after all.”
"Fly away with me, Lily Calloway?”
She whispers, “Only if we make-believe that we never, ever have to grow up.”
“There’s a problem with that, love,” I say, carrying her on my back across the deck.
“What’s that?” she asks, and I picture her adorable crinkled brows.
I’m smiling more than I have all night.
“Our make-believe always turns out real."
“Will you dance with me?” For some reason, I still fear that rejection, the familiar response that always comes.
He cups my round face, his fingers lost in my hair, and his lips curve.
Very softly, he says, “Yes, love. I’ll dance with you."
"I heard Connor likes spanking, hard.” “Just heard?” Connor banters, his grin blinding. Lo snaps his fingers in mock realization. “That’s right, love, I forgot about last night.” “Impossible,” Connor says. “I’m unforgettable."These two 🛐
"Never did I think I’d be the recipient of fragile, precious things. Every single part of me is alive today. And it’ll be tomorrow. I’m not dying in my own body anymore. I am truly living. Peace courses through me. It’s the quiet that I never thought existed. And the heaven that I never believed was meant for me."
"I want them to believe that I’m strong enough to be a good mom. Some days, I think I am. Other days, I have to convince myself all over again. But I’m going to get there. And I won’t give up."
"I admire certain qualities in almost every person, but I don’t think like everyone else. My ideas and beliefs would be considered strange, and I’ve lived by the notion that I understand me, even if everyone else sees someone lesser, someone…they need. But as long as I know who I am, nothing else matters.”
"Hi,” Rose whispers softly to the baby. “You’re a little gremlin, aren’t you?” Rose smiles as more tears spill. “My little gremlin.” As she touches her hand, the baby’s small fingers close around Rose’s pinky.Adorable right!!😭💞
"Ryke would endure hell for eternity if it meant that I could go to heaven."
"I get it. Why he loves her. She’s a light in a dark place. Even when she’s going through deep shit too. Daisy and Ryke are the definition of selfless."
My eyes well with tears… "Against the world, Loren Hale?"
"Yeah," he nods. "Against the world, Lily Calloway. I'm familiar with that battle."
"I love you," he says so empathetically that it tears open my heart. "I understand you. Please hold onto that, Lil."
"Lily Calloway," I murmur, and she finally looks up at me. I love you. I don't even have to say the words before her eyes well with tears. I breathe deeply, my muscles wound tight. Years and years with Lily, my best friend, rush though my veins.
It's a connection that spawned early on, from chasing her around a golf course ad hiding underneath pillows on a yacht. From escaping to a bedroom and playing pretend behind a bar. From shutting out the world until it was just us.
I open my mouth to say more, but it's hard to put everything to words.
A tear drips down her cheek. "I know."
"Most people can't stand me… I've realized that the people who can are the ones I love deeply."
"There's something about her that makes all the terrible parts of me seem irrelevant. It's love like this that's worth living for."
❝You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you.❞
His smile lights up his face. I love that it returned one more time. ❝No sad endings, love. Those aren’t meant for us.❞
In the very happiest moment of my life I learn three things:
I am strong.
I have powers.
And my soul meets Loren Hale’s in every kiss. When the curtains on my universe close, he will still be with me. That, I’m sure of.
“I’m proud of myself, and it’s a weird thing to be. I revel in this triumph. I’m nearing the last stretch of a long bumpy road, bruised from falling, but still running. It feels good.”
“It’s what I’ll do now. It’s what I’ll do tomorrow and the next day. For however long this fight goes on. Just stand up. And I rise slowly to my feet. Heavy and shackled with weight. I still move.”
“I speak for everyone here today,” Connor tells us, “when I say that you two—Lily and Loren—are the strongest people we’ve all ever had the honor to meet.”
“It’s beautiful up here, and even if I fear falling, it’s nice to know I’ve been down that road before. And I can always walk to the top again.”
'I thought it was going to be hard—being selfless. But when you love someone with the deepest parts of your soul, they become your biggest exception'
'Wampa cap securely on his little head. I pat mine. It’s still there. All is well'
“Where are we going" My eyes flit to the clock. 2 a.m.
"We're taking a trip."
I wipe my splotchy cheeks. "To Hogwarts?" I ask hopefully
(1 chap later)
“About that Hogwarts trip," I start.
His hand freezes on the doorknob.
"Lil..." His voice is more serious. "You know it's not-"
I almost pounce on him to cover his mouth with my palm.
"Don't say it's not real."
It's just as bad as saying fairies aren't real. One of them will die as a result. We have to keep the faith.
“There’s something about Lily that makes all the terrible parts of me seem irrelevant. That makes a bad day momentary and a good one infinite.
It’s love like this that’s worth living for.”
“We breathe,” Lily defends our relationship. My brows rise. Let’s not kid ourselves. We struggle with our codependency on a daily basis.
“Back then,” he says, “I was so addicted to you.” He truly smiles, a very, very rare one. “I still am.”
“It’s love like this that’s worth living for.”
'Watching someone you love in pain—and not being able to fix it—it’s agony that I don’t wish on anyone.'
Lily and I—we may have started our relationship as pretend. But for as long as I can remember, our love has always been real. From our pretend weddings, to our pretend relationship—in the end, it’s all become reality. And I would love to never, ever grow up with Lily Calloway. In one universe, we’ll be young forever.
“If someone ever asks how long we’ve spent together, I’d say for as long as my mind stretches back. I can’t tell you the day that I fell in love with you because there wasn’t a single day that I didn’t.” My voice shakes with more joy than I’ve ever known.
“You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you.”
“Lily Calloway…all this time, your superpower has been loving me.” Tears cloud my eyes, and they don’t stop, especially as he adds, “And you’ll be happy to know that I’m not mortal.”
“You aren’t?” I choke.
“No.” He shakes his head, brushing away the wetness beneath my eyes. “Because my superpower is the love that I have for you. It’s out of this world, extraordinary, incomprehensible kind of love. And no one and nothing on this Earth comes close to it.”
Connor glances between her legs before looking back at his wife. And he asks her, "When you were fourteen, what was the first thing I ever said to you?"
It looks like she wants to scream again, but the noise dies in her throat as she concentrates on Connor's words. "Are you…quizzing me?"
"Yes," he admits. I almost want to ask how much she's
dilated, but then I don't want to imagine it at all. I'm guessing Connor can tell though, even if he's not a doctor. He's smart enough.
She chokes back a cry and lets out a trained breath. Rose opens her eyes as she answers,
"You said that I was your greatest competition."
"And now" he whispers,
"you're my greatest ally." With one hand on her knee, he says, “I need you to push."
This is actually happening.
In the back of Connor's limo.
Rose is having a baby.
"From our pretend weddings, to our pretend relationship - in the end, it's all become reality. And I would love to never, ever grow up with Lily Calloway. In one universe, we'll be young forever."
"He deserves his paradise. So I'll fight against my brother. I'll fight against Lily and Daisy for this position. The winner is the loser."
"If someone ever asks how long we've spent together, I'd say for as long as my mind stretches back. I can't tell you the day I fell in love with you because there wasn't a single day that I didn't."
"Because my superpower is the love that I have for you. It's out of this world, extraordinary, incomprehensible kind of love. And no one and nothing on this Earth comes close to it."
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅. “I knew from the beginning that we’d be addicted after all.” His amber eyes bore straight through me. “I just didn’t know whether we’d be at a better place than we were before.”
In comparison, I’m the monster, the asshole, the villain. But in Lily Calloway’s eyes I’m the hero. That has to count for something.
“If someone ever asks how long we’ve spent together, I’d say for as long as my mind stretches back. I can’t tell you the day that I fell in love with you because there wasn’t a single day that I didn’t.” My voice shakes with more joy than I’ve ever known. “You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you.”
Connor picks up where he left off. “I speak for everyone here today,” he tells us, “when I say that you two—Lily and Loren—are the strongest people we’ve all ever had the honor to meet.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ He is my soul. I am his. The moment we give up on each other is the moment that neither of us exists.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ From our pretend weddings, to our pretend relationship—in the end, it’s all become reality. And I would love to never, ever grow up with Lily Calloway. In one universe, we’ll be young forever.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ This yacht. This room. Almost four years ago. We were both twenty and broken and struggling to find a semblance of peace. And then he uttered the words that changed everything.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Because he’s a life I’m meant to give. Because he’s a part of Lily. And because—he’s my son.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ It happens again, only this time, stronger, like a foot… I touch my abdomen, my heart quickening. “Is he…” Lo trails off. I nod. “I think so.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Lily and I—we may have started our relationship as pretend. But for as long as I can remember, our love has always been real.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ “You’ve been my shy little girl for so long, and I should’ve recognized that you weren’t all there. As an adult, as a parent and as your father, I am so sorry.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ “I care about you, what happens to you, and it’s a weakness any way I look at it. Like your father once asked, what do I get out of it? I told him the truth. I get your friendship. That’s all I want.”
“He is my soul. I am his. The moment we give up on each other is the moment that neither of us exists.”
"“In the very happiest moment of my life I learn three things:I am strong. I have powers.And my soul meets Loren Hale’s in every kiss. When the curtains on my universe close, he will still be with me. That, I’m sure of.”
”“I care about you, what happens to you, and it’s a weakness any way I look at it. Like your father once asked, what do I get out of it? I told him the truth. I get your friendship. That’s all I want.””
“No sad endings, love. Those aren't meant for us.”
“You have the purest parts of my heart, and I'm certain that in every alternate universe, I'm always, always in love with you.”
“Lily Calloway…all this time, your superpower has been living me.”
Book 1: Addicted To You - 5 STARS
Book 1.5: Ricochet - 4 STARS
Book 2: Addicted For Now - 5 STARS
Book 2.5: Thrive - 4 STARS
Book 3: Addicted After All - 5 STARS
"We’re in a three year long fake relationship. We live together. He’s heard me orgasm from one room over. I’ve seen him sleep in his own puke. And even though our parents believe we’re one small step from engagement, we’ll never have sex again."
"I want to love you more than I love this" - he waves his bottle - "and I don’t know how else to do it unless there’s something to lose."
"The parts of me that I love the most are the parts that belong to her."
Free-boobing is the best.
Like powerful, mutant cramps. Oh my God, these cramps have superpowers. How in the hell am I going to defeat them?
The moment Ryke shifts the car out of reverse, we go from zero to I'm-gonna-die.
I secretly want to raise my hand and say, introvert in the building!Maybe I'm alone, but I find her freaking hilarious! I loved her in all the other books, but I think the reason this one is my favorite is because of her reactions to her son (hers and Lo's). I just find the growth of these two characters spectacular, and it really shows in this book.
"Back to the training," I announce. This is important to me. I really do want to know the information before Maximoff arrives.She's goofy, but when it comes to learning first aid for Moffy, and later when she's trying to make sure she chooses him over sex, she becomes serious and dedicated. It's amazing. SHE'S amazing.
"If anyone has anything negative… or rational to say against me, I will push you overboard."
"My brain is working perfectly," she says. "I see a disgusting human being and it says die."
"She may mutter inarticulately, vomit on me, and look clueless until a certain stage of her life, but she's my unintelligible thing."
"3.14-I-fucking-hate-you," she practically screams. I'm surprised she hasn't bitten him yet.
The fact that he never wanted children—that this baby was an unwelcome surprise rather than a joyous one—has been shelved somewhere else. Somewhere too far to ever reach again. - Lily's thoughts
Goddamn I want this kid more than I've wanted a lot of things in life.
He's a piece of me and Lily, and most people would consider that a tainted, damaged thing. But the more I think about it—and the longer she carries our child—I recognize all of the good parts of us. They fucking exist.His entire attitude changes. Whether that's for his son, or it just happens naturally, I don't know. But I loved watching him become more confident. It made all of his relationships stronger, but especially the one with his brother.
He doesn't think I can. At the start of this, I would've agreed. Years ago, I wouldn’t have even tried, knowing the end result would be the same. Fuck that guy. There is nothing that says I can't measure up to my older brother. I may be a bastard, a failure, a natural-born loser, but I can win in the end. For once in my goddamn life, I'm going to do it.
"I'm right behind you," Ryke tells me. I take the first step onto the seventy-fifth floor of Hale Co. This is it.^^^ THIS! I love this!! Lo always feels like he's behind his brother, so this metaphor had me all kinds of giddy... not only does Lo recognize that he can equal his brother, but Ryke acknowledges it, too. Not that he's ever thought less of Lo, but he sees his growth and knows he can handle more pressure than he could years ago.
And I rise slowly to my feet. Heavy and shackled with weight. I still move.I also loved reading about his transition from an angry, acts-without-thinking, selfish teenager to a thinks-of-others, slightly less angry, thoughtful adult. It was impressive the way he dealt with Garrison and his friends, especially given everything that happened. It had to be incredibly difficult to put that shit on hold (especially with Lily and Moffy in the house) in order to help someone he saw himself in. I've always loved Lo but somehow I fell even more in love with him.
"Yeah, stop nagging me," I add and almost stick out my tongue. I restrain myself. I’m a mom now. I have to show a level of maturity. I cross my ankles, my feet warm in dinosaur slippers. Those haven't lost their cool factor since I was seventeen.and
Accio, my clothes! They do not magically land in my hands. Harry Potter fail. I’m truly not a wizard.And I don't think there is a couple (real or fictional) that can beat these two. They are the very definition of once in a lifetime, made for each other, soulmates :)
"I've always loved you, you know."
Then I draw her closer, kiss right outside her lips, and just hold her for a second. It's like embracing the happiest parts of yourself. I can't quite explain what it feels like—but I'm certain it's somewhere near heaven.
I have my fair share of ups and downs, but it'll always be harder watching Lily hit a low than going through my own. Watching someone you love in pain—and not being able to fix it—it's agony that I don't wish on anyone.
From our pretend weddings, to our pretend relationship—in the end, it's all become reality. And I would love to never, ever grow up with Lily Calloway. In one universe, we'll be young forever.
There's something about Lily that makes all the terrible parts of me seem irrelevant. That makes a bad day momentary and a good one infinite. It's love like this that's worth living for.
"I can't tell you the day that I fell in love with you because there wasn't a single day that I didn't."
"I'm certain that in every alternate universe, I'm always, always in love with you."Do I really need to say it?
"The parts of me that I love the most are the parts that belong to her."
"Then I draw her closer, kiss right outside her lips, and just hold her for a second. It’s like embracing the happiest parts of yourself. I can’t quite explain what it feels like—but I’m certain it’s somewhere near heaven."
"You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you."