Cookie Quotes

“Do you want a cookie?
- What?
- A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?
- No.
- How can you not want a cookie?
- I just don't.
- Okay, fine,let's say you did want a cookie. Let's say you were dying for a cookie, and there were cookies in the cupboard. What would you do?
- I'd eat a cookie?
- Exactly. That's all I'm saying.
- What are you saying?
- That if people want cookies, they should get a cookie. It's what people do.
- Let me guess. Dad won't let you have a
cookie?
- No. Even though I'm practically starving to death, he won't even consider it. He says I have to have a sandwich first.
- And you don't think that's fair.
- You just said you'd get a cookie if you wanted one. So why can't I? I'm not a little kid. I can make my own decisions.
- Hmm. I can see why this bothers you so
much.
- It's not fair. If he wants a cookie, he can have one. If you want a cookie,
you can have one. But if I want a cookie, the rules don't count. Like you
said, it's not fair.
- So what are you going to do?
- I'm going to eat a sandwich. Because I have to. Because the world isn't fair
to ten-year-olds.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

“That's your solution? Have a cookie?' Astrid asked. 'No, my solution is to run down to the beach and hide out until this is all over,' Sam said. 'But a cookie never hurts.”
― Michael Grant, Gone

“Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“My phone pinged. It was a text from Cookie.

I'm not good at cocking guns.

Really? Did she not know me at all?

I texted her back.

You can do this. Learn the cock, Cookie.

Know the cock.

Be the cock.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“The common man prays, 'I want a cookie right now!' And God responds, 'If you'd listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Where you just possessed?" Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. "'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?"
"No! Good God, no!”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, Wait for You

“Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me."
"I can't go with you."
"Is it because of my questionable morals?"
"No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school."
"Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Did you catch the time-of-great-suffering thing?”

Her expression softened. “Can you just make sure I’m not around when it happens?”

“No can do,” I said, strolling back to my office with a negating wave of my hand. “If I have to suffer, then so does everyone else within a ten-mile radius.”

She pursed her lips. “What ever happened to taking one for the team?”

“Was never much of a team player.”

“Sacrificing yourself for the greater good?”

“Not that into human sacrifice.”

“Suffering in silence?”

I stopped and turned back to her, my eyes narrowing accusingly. “If I have to suffer, I’ll be screaming your name at the top of my lungs the whole time. You’ll be able to hear me all the way to Jersey, mark my words.”

- Charley to Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Reckoner Super Plan for Killing Regalia...

Step One: find Regalia, then totally explode her. Lots and Lots.

Step Two: put Val on decaf.

Step Three: Mizzy gets a cookie.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“You know how you heal really fast?” I stood and walked to the doorway that separated our offices. “Yes,” I answered, wondering where she was going with this. She was sucking the side of her index finger. “Maybe if you lick my cut, your spit will heal me fast, too.” “Dude,” I said, tamping down a giggle, “I’m not licking your cut.” “Just lick me.” She held out her finger. “This is going to be tender for days.” “I’m not licking you.” A line I rarely said aloud.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“Charley talking to Cookie
‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?''

‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into

''That’s going to be you!''

She was probably right, if I live that long”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie.”
― Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes

“I was busy perusing the suicide notes and waiting for Belvedere's water to finish its treatment when I heard a thud from Cookie's office. Then a mousy squeak. The a throaty moan.

"Cookie," I said, wiggling my fingers at Belvedere to get him acquainted to with our strange ways, "are you masturbating?"

"No, I got a paper cut."

Oh, I didn't see that coming.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“Do you know how hard it is to diet with a name like Cookie?” “That’s so weird.” I stared off into space, marveling at the similarities of our situation. “It’s hard to diet with a name like Charley, too”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I think I met your friend Charley."
"You...did? When?"
"When I looked in the mirror this morning."
She stood in disbelief for a moment. Then astonishment. Then doubt. Then hope. Then wariness. Aka, the five stages of Cookie.”
― Darynda Jones, The Dirt on Ninth Grave

“Cookie saw him, too. "Holy mother of all things sexy," she said, her eyes drinking him in.
"Right there with ya.”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge

“Okay but he has a case for you," she said again, her voice singsong.

"Don't care."

"It's right up your alley. There's been a rash of suicide notes."

"That's not right up my alley. That's, like, two blocks over from my alley.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“Well?” she asked when she picked up.
“Do you think we’re really alone in the universe?”
“Were you abducted by aliens again?”
“No, thank goodness. Once was enough for me.”
“Oh, whew. So, what happened with Reyes? Did you see him?”
“Saw him. Argued with him. Barfed.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“Did you look at the memo?”
“What memo? We’re getting memos now?”
“I sent a memo a week ago. I’ve been sending you a memo every week with a list of all the updates and my notes on all our cases for weeks now.”
Holy cow. Missed the boat on that one. “Oh, those memos. I totally knew that.”
“You’re not even reading them, are you?”
“I thought they were optional.”
Note to self: Stop making paper airplanes out of Cookie’s memos.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“...what has possessed you to steal blood?"
"It's for a project."
"What kind of project?"
"A... bloody one.”
― Darynda Jones, The Trouble with Twelfth Grave

“Fucking delish, I don't care if it's a faggy word, oops, sorry, no offense, sorry again. [i]Delish! Criminy![/i] This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.”
― Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

“You are either a half-baked, baked, or burnt cookie. You decide, but you can't be all three in life. - Aunt Polly”
― Michelle M. Pillow, Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes

“I’m afraid the sleigh is wrecked,” said Santa, “and we do not have a spare!”

“We must cancel Christmas,” he said; but his wife replied, “We must not dare!”
― Glynn Gomes, Santa's Magic Cookie Train

“Everyone needs to calm down! Okay, you got a weird cookie. So what? I don’t mean to swat your ego here, buddy, but this smacks a little narcissistic for me. God is not trying to communicate to you through a cookie. It doesn’t work that way. God’s not all Jack-and-the-magic-beans and tooth-beneath-the pillow voodoo. You don’t just close your eyes, flap open your Bible, and slam a steak knife into a verse. It’s that sort of thinking that leads to witch trials and Senate probes.”
― Geoffrey Wood, The God Cookie

“God didn’t give Moses ten fortune cookies in a to-go box. God didn’t lead the Israelites through the wilderness with a neon all-you-can-eat sign. And God doesn’t speak to people in bathrooms, public or otherwise.”
― Geoffrey Wood, The God Cookie

“He’s like a half-baked cookie. - Aunt Polly”
― Michelle M. Pillow, Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes

“He selected a cookie and bit into it, the buttery crispness dissolving on his tongue- not overly sweet, with a nice kick of vanilla. It was a damn good cookie.”
― Amy E. Reichert, The Kindred Spirits Supper Club

“Cookie, I thought when I looked at Ellie.
Not that I wanted to eat her. I wasn't a cannibal or anything.
But she reminded me of the cookies my mother baked when her bridge group came to our house. The smell of them in the oven was all rich vanilla and spice, oh-so-sweet.
Ellie was a little shorter than me, with endless curves that swooped and dipped, creamy skin sprinkled with cinnamon freckles up and down her arms and across her round cheeks. Her short hair fell in soft honey-colored curls, and her big blue eyes... well, that's where the whole cookie idea fell down, but they made me think of my favorite pair of worn-out jeans.
But back to those cookies. Every time, I'd tiptoe to the cooling rack and reach for one perfectly round, warm cookie when I thought Mom wasn't looking. And every time, out of nowhere, she'd slap my grubby hand away, snapping, "Not for you."
Ellie may have looked warm and round, but she had "not for you" written all over her.”
― Sarah Chamberlain, The Slowest Burn