Damn, this was too short of a read. From page one I was engrossed with Bun's quirky character & was sad when I had to put it down. Her 4 strong stars
Damn, this was too short of a read. From page one I was engrossed with Bun's quirky character & was sad when I had to put it down. Her strong voice & sense of self made for a welcome surprise that complimented Smith's powerful writing. At the beginning of the story we see that Bun was living with her emotionally abusive hoarder mother who demanded that she leave. So she did. At 14, Bun has not gone to school since kindergarten, so she doesn't have the socialization skills that most others would have at her age. Thus, she says whatever's on her mind & likes to reveal random facts. But she's still naïve, & when she leaves she meets Busker Boy, a 21-year-old willing to take her in. (And no, it's not like that. BB later tells Bun that he thinks of her as his little sister.)
Busker Boy introduces Bun to other characters: Chris/Cher, Pop Girl, Big Eyes, Chef & The Landlord (whom she is instructed to stay away from). These individuals become the family & support system Bun has never had. While not every character was entirely fleshed out, I felt like Smith added enough backbone to their stories so they wouldn't be interchangeable with one another. Each character had a distinct voice- whether good or bad- which I appreciated. For a book just over 200 pages, it covers a lot, such as: abuse (emotional & there is a sexual assault, though not graphically described), harmful Native American stereotypes, drag queen prejudice, & parental neglect. Again, nothing is graphic but the naivety of Bun & the blunt way things are written make for a haunting & dark read. That being said, I loved this book & eccentric characters. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt & it was just too short so only going 4* on this one. I know there's a 99.999999% chance Smith will never pen a sequel but these characters are too good to waste. Highly recommended for those who want something a little different....more
This is definitely one of those books you are either going to love or hate. All That I Can Fix is filled with an unlikable protagonist, trigger warninThis is definitely one of those books you are either going to love or hate. All That I Can Fix is filled with an unlikable protagonist, trigger warnings* galore, & just a general weird vibe. Many will be turned off by the unflinching, harsh tone that the novel is dripping in- there is no sugarcoating here- & that's fine, but for those who are willing to venture out into an uncomfortable zone, this is a highly rewarding read.
Ronney has a lot on his plate. Living in a family with parents who have mentally checked out (a clinically depressed father, pill-addicted mother), he feels like an adult living in a boy's body. He takes care of his little sister Mina (who admittedly acts more like a 6-7 year old than her 10 years of age; trauma can stunt your emotional growth, so props to the author writing her character like that, whether intentional or not) & repairs things around the house. But there are things that Ronney cannot fix & he worries about them constantly. He also does not know how to let anyone in or try to help nor accept help. Add onto this that he finds out his best friend has been going behind his back & dating the girl he loves. Additionally, one of Mina's classmates, Michael, begins to follow Ronney, demanding a pair of jeans back leading to Ronney promising to bring Michael's older brother back home. He is helping everyone but himself & the weight of that is beginning to add up.
Ronney feels isolated from other teens & that he can't have the same childhood as they do. He gets the consequences of his parent's choices & builds up anger towards them, especially his father. He is very internally focused on what has been taken away from him & his sister & does not consider what has been taken from his parents or the mentality of why his father is "not the same as before." In that regard, Ronney's thinking is selfish & I can understand why many will not be able to sympathize with his character even if perhaps his anger is justified in some situations.
While I enjoyed most of this book, I was let down by the author's decision to fixate so much on Ronney rather than also explaining a bit on what was going on with his father. When asked why he attempted suicide, he responds with that "his life is so heavy & he just wanted it to stop" which is an accurate statement but nothing further is discussed. I was hoping for a book that didn't shy away from other topics would spend more time on this since it's a large part of the story, but was let down. It was also disappointing that his father suddenly decides to begin taking his medication (after refusing to do so for over 75% of the book), & starts to "come out of the fog." It felt like a slap in the face honestly. What about the families who struggle with this every single day? Yes, depression has its ups & downs, but it doesn't just take a turn for the better like that. Perhaps Chan felt pressure to mix in a more positive tone after so many negative things? The last few chapters were just such a downward spiral, which is why this isn't getting a higher rating. Other than that I felt the characters were fleshed out enough & especially loved Mina & Michael. The pacing is steady for the first 80%, & I could see much of myself reflected within the majority of these characters. A read that I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Highly recommend for those who want something a little different.
Glad I gave this a chance because I enjoyed it much better than SIMON. I loved the questions it brought up, specifically the conversation betw4 stars
Glad I gave this a chance because I enjoyed it much better than SIMON. I loved the questions it brought up, specifically the conversation between Leah & Abby when they discuss labels. [In a nutshell: Abby-"I may be half bi"; Leah- "You can't be"; Abby- "You don't get to choose my label for me." Both valid points & I would love to hear other's thoughts on that. Leah is fiercely unapologetic for the entirety of the story, even when it would have have been "nicer" to cave in. For some reason it's hard to find positive role models for parents in YA but Leah's mom is the bomb, always trying to give her daughter the best. I also enjoyed the relationship between Leah & Wells as she goes to hating him to simply starting to understand the role he plays in her & her mother's life.
Naturally, I was here for the f/f romance & I wasn't disappointed. The buildup between Leah & Abby was so cute it gave me all the feels. The interaction between everyone felt honest & I have to say, I appreciate Simon's character much more this time around. I also love the bopo in here & how Leah doesn't let being fat get in the way of what she wants.
This took me longer to finish than the majority of my reads but that's because I wanted to savor it. A sequel that's better than its original. Definitely wouldn't mind seeing this one play out on the big screen. 🤞Recommended to all YA fans, especially for a fantastic summer reading choice. ...more
THE LAST TO LET GO is my first Amber Smith novel so I wasn't sure what to expect. With any new author, I tend to lower my expectations, I LOVED this.
THE LAST TO LET GO is my first Amber Smith novel so I wasn't sure what to expect. With any new author, I tend to lower my expectations, but this impressed me from page one. I've read plenty of trauma related novels, but not so many aftermath ones. This book didn't focus so much on the abuse itself as what happens after. I feel that there aren't enough domestic violence YA novels out there, so this was a nice change of pace. I could relate to Brooke so much- her sense of duty to take care of everyone, the way she feels (or tries not to feel) about Dani, & just needing everything to be "okay". I loved the dynamics of her & her siblings, & the fact that they aren't a family unit, that they're just off going in their different directions. The pain of Brooke trying not to be like her mother but ending up like her anyways was so painful. Brooke is torn between trying to hold onto what was familiar & letting go to start a new chapter. It's some real uncomfortable shit & I appreciated that Smith didn't sugarcoat anything.
Brooke & Dani's relationship, as well as her friendship with Tyler was something I was rooting for. All of the characters felt necessary & fleshed out; the length of the book seemed just enough. Brooke is not perfect & her flaws make her even more realistic as she is trying so hard to keep everything afloat. At the end, all of her mistakes aren't just magically forgiven. Trust needs to be earned back & things can't just go back to the way they were before. I'm rating this a 5, not because I found it faultless (the ending could have used a touch-up), but because it's a gem in my heart & one of the few stories I wouldn't mind reading again.
Honestly, this wasn't even on my radar & I just picked it up as a last-minute library glance, which is a shame because I definitely feel this book needs more hype. The aftermath is so important & I can't wait for more stories dealing with it. I am glad I found a new author to enjoy & look forward to her future works. Recommended for contemporary fans & those wanting something a little "different" (i.e. not just your average abuse novel)....more
Just to get out of the way: This is not your "happy queer" book. Trigger warnings include child abuse (emotional & physical), homophA stunning debut!
Just to get out of the way: This is not your "happy queer" book. Trigger warnings include child abuse (emotional & physical), homophobia & I'm including my own TW for complacency. Evan's father is aware of what's going on, but sadly, in like many cases of abuse, does nothing to stop it, & IMO actually causes it to escalate.
THE DANGEROUS ART OF BLENDING IN was extremely difficult to read. I have a childhood background somewhat similar to Evan's & I've had my fair share of books dealing with these themes. It doesn't get any easier. But for some reason, this was sharper; the text more vibrant in my eyes. Over the years I've been able to distance myself enough to not get so easily affected by these types of novels (otherwise I wouldn't be reading them), but Evan's voice & perspective broke through that shell. The introspection & characterization of him in terms of his family life [specifically] makes for a powerful MC & one I'm sure many readers will find pieces of themselves in.
It's true that there's not much going on here except for Evan's home life with a subplot of a romance between him & his best friend, Henry. Here's where it gets tricky. Henry is a pure example of a manipulator & this is a pure example of a toxic friendship that turns into a bad romance. Henry takes advantage of Evan, claiming that he is the one who wants to "save him", gets jealous of others who take Evan's attention, demands to put Evan in uncomfortable situations even after his feelings are clear, while of course claiming he loves him. Evan blurs the lines between intimacy & attachment; he has never been loved by anyone before, so when Henry says it to him he naturally believes it. The dynamic between these two is absolutely not okay & I wish it was expounded on because it breaks my heart thinking how many young readers are going to read this book, see the interactions & conclude that this is the only way someone will want you (especially those in Evan's position). Henry is never called out on his behavior & I'll admit, he plays the role so well I probably would have fallen for him, too. (It's here that the advantages of being older than the target audience & still recovering from my own toxic friendships come into play.) I won't go so far to say that it's irresponsible to do this as it coincides with the narrative, but the fact that this is never challenged really rubbed me the wrong way.
Another thing that bothered me was Evan's mother is never corrected on her behavior either. She is given the easy way out & there is no solution. Thinking back to my child/tween years, I vividly recall tearing through my teacher's book bins, desperate to find a book with characters that were going through what I was. ("You have to tell a trusted adult", was all I would hear. But what about after? What about the whole process? Would my other family members be okay? Would I be okay? I wanted to be prepared & I wanted to hear firsthand from someone who actually went through -lived through- this shit.) Unfortunately I found no such book. Perhaps there are ones out there, but it wasn't available to me when I needed it the most. The agony of this makes me think long & hard about whether or not I'd recommend it. For most, it's not easy to just get out because 18 is still eons away. To have a novel this hard-hitting, I wish there would have been another option. I also think because the interactions with his mother are detailed & can be extremely upsetting, I'd be leery to give this to a teen who is currently going through this ordeal. It would be more effective in the aftermath period. On the other hand, I know there aren't enough books that will help these individuals, & it's quite possible this could be the catalyst to change someone's life, so my final advice would be to give with caution.
This book is emotionally draining; you can tell that it's raw & was painful to write. This is an #ownvoices novel & I want to commend the author for sharing his story. Although I had major problems with the items mentioned above, I am still giving this 4 stars because the prose is compelling & the internal thoughts of Evan's guilt & attempting to compartmentalize his life is worth the price of admission alone. I am excited to see what else Surmelis has in store. *And if you do decide to give this a try, please stay safe. You are loved, no matter how much anyone tries to make you believe different.*...more
Note: I am rating this 3.5* for personal reasons. There is no doubt that this is an important book & one that needs to be rea3.5 stars- minor spoiler
Note: I am rating this 3.5* for personal reasons. There is no doubt that this is an important book & one that needs to be read. The realistic descriptions of anxiety, depression & PTSD of survivors make this not only a compelling & validating read but also an educational one for those who "still don't get it." Because of that I'm obviously recommending it- I just wish I knew something prior to getting into this.
Blake did an excellent job portraying this colorful cast of characters- we have positive bisexual & genderqueer, nonbinary representation here (even while tackling biphobia/homophobia). I love that Charlie is still trying to figure out how to tell her parents & how she feels comfortable presenting to the world. It's nice to read a book with strong female characters, ones that support each other. The relationship between Owen & Mara was sweet, but I'll admit it did get to be a bit much at times. Yes we know he's your twin brother; readers don't have to be reminded of that fact at every mention. It's also interesting how fast Mara's mother changes her tune when she discovers the rapist is her own son because she doesn't want to believe he could be capable of something this horrific (victim blaming at its finest). All of these characters are three-dimensional & nothing is as black & white as it seems.
I was nervous about the ending; the possibility of having everything tied together with red ribbon lingered on my mind & was happy that this wasn't the case. However, I would have liked to see Charlie's discussion with her parents, as well as the next step after Mara speaks up. Again, this doesn't take away from the book, I just think it would have added an "extra" factor.
Here's the part that bothered me. There was no mention or hint of this in this synopsis, nor do I actively seek out reviews prior to publishing dates. I was not expecting Mara's trauma- (view spoiler)[ the sexual assault regarding her & Mr. Knoll. This is specifically between a student & teacher. This kind of interaction always makes my blood boil & I try my best to avoid them. (hide spoiler)] Because I had a similar experience around Mara's age & wasn't notified of this beforehand, it was unsettling & upsetting. Yes, I read plenty of books handling these themes, but I'm aware of it upfront so I can prepare myself for what I'm getting into. I would like to see publishing companies take better action at descriptions, because I was ready for one thing, but completely blindsided by another.
I think it I was made aware of this ahead of time, this would have been a solid 4*+ read for me. Still, I'm looking forward to Blake's future works. ...more
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