These two making love declarations at 14 because they'd been together 'a while now and it was time' These two making love declarations at 14 because they'd been together 'a while now and it was time' ...more
Without a doubt the worst MM romance I've ever read.
Made a friend read a book with cheating between MCs so she made me read this and all I can say is Without a doubt the worst MM romance I've ever read.
Made a friend read a book with cheating between MCs so she made me read this and all I can say is we need to stay far away from each other's recommendations going forward.
I knew I probably wasn't going to like this, but I had no idea how much I'd hate it.
Homophobia galore. Everyone gets some.
We have Roman, a bully who's into dubcon sexual encounters with a boy whose sister he's dating. Will face fuck him by force in front of the entire football team then show up later for a cuddle and absolution.
And we have Jonah. The spineless absolver. Never met a heinous crime he didn't want to absolve Roman of. You watch your secret boyfriend beat the shit out of his recently outed best friend and give him no more than a slap on the wrist.
Not even that. Even the beaten up bestie forgives him, with BARELY an apology. If I don't laugh I'll cry.
I don't even know why they're saying they're in love. There's nothing between them beyond lust and bullying. Roman isn't even an unknowing offender. At some point he tells Jonah....
“How hard it makes me when I push you past the point of argument and you finally give in, even though you didn’t want to? I’d be slapped with a rape charge so fast my head would spin.”
I don't get the allure, there's nothing redeemable about Roman. He's not amoral. He knows when what he's doing is wrong, he just does it anyway.
I'd get it if there were any part of Jonah that gave off the idea he likes it rough. There isn't though. He doesn't fantasize about being taken against his will. He's not gagging for it. He just likes Roman, and that's the way Roman likes it, so that's how Jonah takes it.
TL;DR?
Roman: *beating the shit out his lifelong bestie. Jonah(less than 6 hours later): He's broken but he loves me...more
Hurt/comfort but not the way you'd expect. I loved these two, both apart and together. Both green flag MCs.
Loved how Riley wasn't a victim. Truly a sHurt/comfort but not the way you'd expect. I loved these two, both apart and together. Both green flag MCs.
Loved how Riley wasn't a victim. Truly a spirit that could not, would not be broken. Also loved the start because of him. If you can give a 28 minute soliloquy on all the reasons why you can't stand your girlfriend....yeah, y'all should definitely not be together.
Loved Harper because he was just so precious. Always thinking of others before himself—even though this ended up becoming an issue for me because be a little selfish, damn!
His character was so well-written, especially given his background. I couldn't help wanting to wrap him up into a burrito and hiding him from Dallas.
I really love when one MC does most of the chasing and convincing, and then later when the other is thoroughly caught and convinced, they flip it back on them and make the ultimate gesture. Mutual affection. I love it!...more
How do I kindly but firmly tell an author that their romcoms are fine and dandy but angst is ABSOLUTELY their forte? How do I give a book ten stars?
'How do I kindly but firmly tell an author that their romcoms are fine and dandy but angst is ABSOLUTELY their forte? How do I give a book ten stars?
'He’s everything I remember.' 'I wasn’t crazy. He is amazing.'
This book was everything I want in a book and then some. Had me feeling all the angst without falling back on overused tropes.
I love when there are problems that are not a direct consequence of one MC being an Unforgivable Dick™
Why can't we have more of this? THIS is why I read romance. I like wanting them together, in spite of everything. This is one of those books where I don't feel like either MC settled.
“I’ll never recover from this.”, said Davey, that dramatic MF, at least THIRTEEN times this book. He was right, though.
This book gave me whiplash. It was friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to —you get the point.This book gave me whiplash. It was friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to —you get the point.
Aight so boom. We have MC Andrew who falls in love with married Nate. Cue affair.
Andrew's wife Stephanie knows that he's gay so their marriage is convenient. Or was. Until she decides she wants to marry her boyfriend, Joe. With me so far?
Andrew and Stephanie separate, and suddenly he's free to want things from Nathan that he wasn't free to voice before. Nathan doesn't take it well, asks Andrew to give him six months to wrap up business with HIS own wife, Alex.
Andrew's heard this shit before because it appears it's not his first rodeo with closeted DL married men. But he loves Nathan so he agrees to the six months.
But this bitch Nathan doesn't wrap up business, evidently, because four months in, he shows up to Andrew's new place in LA, they fuck, then immediately after, Andrew hears from a mutual friend that Nathan's wife Alex is pregnant with baby #2...more
Well. I hated this one. There's a lot more suffering than romance, and then not even a grovel. Sigh.
So we have Jamie, a mated omega with cancer. We hWell. I hated this one. There's a lot more suffering than romance, and then not even a grovel. Sigh.
So we have Jamie, a mated omega with cancer. We have Rohan, his mate who only has eyes for him, although unsurprisingly, cancer has wrecked havoc on Jamie's libido and he no longer wants to be touched. Enter Gray, a much older omega(insert eyeroll here because he's just 35 but this is considered firmly on the shelf for omegas in this world).
Gray is broke and his brother just died, leaving him 3 omegas to care for. The only way he can make a lot of money legally is to offer himself as a surrogate to Jamie and Rohan, a couple who have no business bringing a child into their current situation in my opinion.
Basically a recipe for disaster, right? Yes.
Not only does Jamie insist that Rohan fertilize Gray the natural way (which fated mate is offering up their alpha to another omega???) but Rohan reluctantly agrees, and nobody knows why because he spends the entire fertilization period and subsequent pregnancy reminding Gray how he only has eyes for his Jamie(except the times he's balls deep in Gray) , could never possibly want more from Gray, whom he considers a mere means to an end.
Anyway. Fast forward a lot, Jamie dies, Gray has an extremely difficult birth which requires extensive recovery (which he has to deal with alone because Rohan is beset by grief) even if Gray is ALSO dealing with the loss of his best friend Jamie(yes, guys. Gray apparently became besties with the omega whose alpha he's fucking because what bonds two people more than sharing dick EVEN THOUGH THIS IS NOT MMM...more
I'm going to just say..... I think this is a good story, but it is not a good romance.
To the point that I enjoyed the veterans' interactions more thanI'm going to just say..... I think this is a good story, but it is not a good romance.
To the point that I enjoyed the veterans' interactions more than the romance. I loved the Bitches.
Is there an undercurrent of love? Yes. But for me it read more like a healing story, and finding yourself after a traumatic event.
Which brings me to my next issue. This......didn't read like a double bi-awakening either. Brandt was very much into West from the jump. And West may or may not have been aware of it but he was also not very platonic with Brandt prior to the event.
These men were making eye contact while jerking off less than 6% into the book. But to be fair it's the first time either of them acts on it with another man so maybe that counts.
I like a bit of give and take in my romance, and while I agree that West needed a lot of healing and Brandt was the greenest of flags in being there for him, it was at the expense of Brandt's own wellness.
More than once, he had to put aside his own pain to cater to West's. It was a recurrent thing. He doesn't get to process his own trauma, a lot of which is directly due to West. The number of times he had to freak out over foiling yet another suicide attempt. Only to have to do it again a few days later.
But for Brandt, it was always West first. No matter what.
"I don’t know who I am anymore.” “I know who you are."
“Three legs, huh? Can’t fall with three legs.” “We’re a fucking tripod, baby. We’re never gonna fall, and we’re never gonna lose our way.”
“Don’t forget, just because I’m not with you doesn’t mean you don’t have my legs.”
That said, whichever way I choose to look at it, Brandt was very willing to do whatever it took for West. So at least it had unconditional unwavering devotion.
This book is very 'I'll hold us both up until you're able to stand on your own, and then I'll stand with you.'
If I were Megan, this would be my villain origin story. Took you in and you fuck her man on her bed? (and on her table and her basement and her couch)If I were Megan, this would be my villain origin story. Took you in and you fuck her man on her bed? (and on her table and her basement and her couch). Bring back shame.
Sadly, she's already so flanderized as the cold ungrateful girlfriend that there's nothing new she can possibly add.
A pity.
This is an 'almost' book. Where it could have been good, but kept missing the mark just enough each time to leave you unsatisfied.
There's no nuance to Megan's character. If I'm reading a cheating book, I want to at least feel a modicum of pity for the cheated on partner. I want to root for the cheaters in spite of their actions. Not let out a sigh of relief because the original partner is so bad.
I don't know if that makes sense. Meg was written in such a way that you're literally praying for something or someone to save Garret from her. This is a liberation story. Not a cheating story.
This was almost a good friends to lovers story. But again, fell just a bit short. They knew themselves for such a short time that the love declarations were premature.
The friendship was built on a great basis but the jump to being in love was too quick. This read more as two guys who became friends during a period when both needed a friend more than they needed a lover, and then latched on to the friendship they found and projected everything onto it.
The angst was non-existent. I enjoy books with the cheating storylines because the angst is usually too delicious to pass up. But there was no back and forth or genuine guilt in this.
Aaron was cosplaying feeling guilty. He wasn't sorry for what he was doing. He just felt sorry because he never expected to be someone else's Nick.
Garret was too much of a green flag that I knew how he'd handle Meg's return before he did it. Literally at no single point did I think......oh,he's going to need a moment to think and decide. And I know the irony of calling a cheater a green flag. But yes, Garret was the greenest of flags.
There was genuinely no conflict in this book. Aside from the petty bickering between Meg and Garret. Imagine.
Overall, this was an experience in edging. A book to almost get you there, but not quite....more
Right off the bat, I'll say that this was my least favorite of the trilogy, but Kage in this one is my most favorite. Down bad Kage? I'll take 2, pleaRight off the bat, I'll say that this was my least favorite of the trilogy, but Kage in this one is my most favorite. Down bad Kage? I'll take 2, please.
And yes, I know he's always been the one who didn't care about coming out publicly and shit, and book 2 had him agonizing over the idea that Jamie was ashamed of him but I love what he does about it in this one.
Do I care that he didn't really talk about it with Jamie first? No.
Am I giggly about the fact that he was balls deep when Jamie got to know about it? Absolutely.
"All these men have someone to go home to after the fight. They've got their baby, I've got mine."
Tell themmmmmm. AND. WHAT. OF. IT?!
Kage and Jamie were still quintessential Kage and Jamie in this for the most part. Aside from some soapy shenanigans that occur in the latter third of this book which I won't get into.
But IMO, we see more growth from Kage in this one. We get to find out the truth about his past (which wasn't all that hard to guess at), we get to see him break some patterns.
"If you realize you made a mistake and want to come back, and I know you, Jamie—you can't stay away, I'll be waiting for you. But the minute you fuck another person, I'll never touch you again."
Lol is this sick that I found this both endearing and a reasonable boundary? I expected mans to lose his shit in never before seen ways.
But also, proud that instead of an immediate tweak out, he had the presence of mind to suspect shit. Book 2 Kage would never.
Yes, he needed a nudge, but don’t we all?
Will I read the Santori trilogy? Most probably not. 6 books about the same couple is pushing it a bit(for me) and I can't say I'm really open to the idea of a humanized Peter Santori.
Also, I feel like I can already guess that the other 3 books are about Kage going a little too far, Jamie freaking out and running away, then running back to him later regardless.
I know what I'm supposed to feel by the end of this, but I can't help not feeling it. So I'm just going to put my thoughts about this into words in thI know what I'm supposed to feel by the end of this, but I can't help not feeling it. So I'm just going to put my thoughts about this into words in the order I had them while I read it.
“One day you’ll look back on this moment and hate me so much for it that you won’t be able to fucking look at me.”
Not only did Jude neverrrrr get to this moment, he never really even hated Cas. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why.
Jude reminds me of Far From The Madding Crowd's Gabriel Oak. And not in a good way, though to be fair, I don't know if there's a good way to be reminded of Oak.
You know those MCs that take so much shit that at first you feel incredibly sorry for them for their shit luck, but the pattern continues and they never once stand up for themselves and it gets to a point where you lose all respect for them, past, present and future?
That's how I feel about Jude.
I've called people down bad before but this was a discovery. I was not familiar with this level of pathetic.
It got to a point where whenever Cas showed up, I'd tense in anticipation of the pain that was sure to follow.
“And you’re just as gullible as you always were.”.....coming from a man that's consistently hurt you in unthinkable ways would have been my 13th reason because WHAT? I needed Jude to stand up just once in his godforsaken life.
But...
'What was one more battle scar on my heart when the war was this glorious?'
Yeahhhhhh this guy couldn't be helped. It got to a point where I was pulling out my hair because SURELY no sane person could let it get this bad??? Like there was no threshold below which his pride kicked in.
He had the kind of love for Cas that you hope you or anyone you love never feels about anyone. Oleander was an apt title for this because the feelings here were a toxic poisonous thing.
And I'm mostly mad because I read romance for the happy feels. But there was nothing happy about this.
Just one guy taking a LOTTTTTT of hits, and building himself back up just enough for the other guy to come take it out on him a little more. And again. And again.
And again. I kid you not. It was THAT bad.
He declared his love so fervently, so vehemently, all the time. Almost as though he thought if he just loved him hard enough , it would be enough to keep both of them afloat.
It wasn't. Not once. He just drowned (alone, mind you) each and every time.
So the thing is, I know the last 20% of this was meant to be this perspective shifting hail Mary on Cas' justifications and intentions.
I don't buy it, sorry.
You know when one MC does something so heinous that you're almost giddy with excitement to discover how the author redeems him to get you rooting for him? For them? I love that shift. Usually.
I didn't get it here.
Cas was so incredibly mean and careless with Jude that even with the revelations, I couldn't quite root for him.
It's not just that I don't buy the whole 'thing' we're supposed to believe a selfish, self-centered sixteen year old had the mind to do. I mean, I don't buy it — it's not really in line with the rest of what we know of Cas. And I guess that's supposed to make it even more endearing but I digress.
It's not just that. It's the fact that even when he did it, it wasn't out of love. That whole spiel with Gideon making a huge deal talking about 'He chose you'...... No the fuck he didn't.
Cas chose himself then, just as he had always done prior. And he admits to that too.
He said he did it because he couldn't have chosen Jude then, and he would have broken his heart regardless.
Like Cas himself admits, what happened later couldn't have been predicted, so he doesn't get credit for what he did at 16. So that's one heartbreak entirely Cas' fault.
Yes. I'm keeping count. And, hell, I'll be generous and leave out all the tiny baby heartbreaks that Jude put up with before then because those were there too. But both were 15 so I'll give a discount on that. I'm magnanimous like that.
Next. Oxford. Finlay's birthday. Yet another day, another story of Cas choosing himself and his wants over Jude's. But you know, by this time, I'd started to kind of get over the whole forever love thing Jude was selling himself.
At some point, it's on you.
He could have had Finlay. Sweet, ready to meet him halfway Finlay.
He could have had Nathan. Older, wiser, willing to meet him more than halfway. Open to loving him the way he deserved to be loved.
I think after Nathan is when I gave up on Jude. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Then London happened. The end of the London debacle is the only time I'll give Cas a pass. It's the only time in this long story that his actions made sense and were clearly selfless, misguided though they were.
But the last 20% failed to land him as a redeemable MC for me. And I get that this may be an unpopular take because of what we discovered after London.
I get his trauma. I do. I'm not an emotionless monster. I GET that he had a lot going on. He was going through a lot of shitty things. Fine. But HE was the shitty thing in Jude's story.
And clearly Jude can get past that, but I couldn't. I don't think it's the kind of romance that I can root for.
A happy ending for this two in my estimation was at the point of the long separation. Cas got out of his.......situation and was fine. Jude finally saying enough is enough and meaning it. For once in his bloody life.
Until he didn't. Mean it. 8 years on the wagon and then what. More Cas. I want to understand. I really did but.......Cas was the prize?
Sometimes the capacity for forgiveness people exhibit in romance novels is astonishing because I can't even imagine it.
I get Jude knowing Cas is the love of his life. I really do. Especially after London. Probably felt they were star-crossed lovers or some shit. Should have stayed that way.
I would have maybe grudgingly rooted for them if Cas had made a single overture first. At any one point.
Even when he had that two year window to get one thing right, he never did. This is why I'm so annoyed by the 'Cas chose you' revisionism because Cas didn't. Not once.
Half a time maybe. At 16. And that wasn't choosing Jude. That was a buyout clause, to put it bluntly. Thanks for your service. Severance, if you must.
This entire book is an argument for the fact that if you decide to be an 'understanding boyfriend', more often than not, people will give you things to understand.
5* because I loved this book and I loved how it broke my heart even though I'm vehemently opposed to the ending....more
This is what I mean when I say I want pain and angst in a book. Emotional, gut-wrenching pain. Seeing no way out for them that doesn't leave them in rThis is what I mean when I say I want pain and angst in a book. Emotional, gut-wrenching pain. Seeing no way out for them that doesn't leave them in ruins. I used to pray for times like these.
“I want you,” I whisper. “I know you do.” “But I don’t know how to want you.” “I think that’s something we can figure out,” he tells me.
"Why?" “Is there something specific you need to hear me say?” I love how they keep insisting on things.
So this is probably toxic AF but what I loved most was their recklessness in saying hurtful things during fights. No holding back. Everything felt raw and authentic with these two.
"I want you to stop expecting me to change my entire life for someone I’ve been hooking up with less than a month.” Gut punch. But also. It needed to be said...more
Ummmmmm. This did not live up to it's hype for me. I loved Bear's initial love declaration though.Ummmmmm. This did not live up to it's hype for me. I loved Bear's initial love declaration though....more
Hmm. What to say about a book where one stepbrother oversees the other's masturbation and calls it 'supervised self-love'. What to say, what to say...Hmm. What to say about a book where one stepbrother oversees the other's masturbation and calls it 'supervised self-love'. What to say, what to say...
This book answers the question, 'What if sex was the answer to literally every problem?'. And it's so well written that I have no complaints. Maybe sex IS the answer?
Let me tell you, there's plot galore in this book. To the point where you almost forget that they're having sex every two seconds. Such a sweet poignant story of overcoming trauma from religious indoctrination. Maybe not overcoming. But learning to cope and move forward.
On to the horny aspects. These are the HORNIEST MFs since MFs started being horny.
Angry? Sex. Hurt? Sex. Scared? Sex. Bored? Sex. Muddy? Sex. Wet? Sex. Party? Sex. Sad? Sex. Happy? Sex. Excited? Sex. Doing yoga? Sex. Night before giving a deposition in the case of your former abusers? Sex. Literally right after their mom walked in on them for the first time? You guessed it. Sex.
“Alright. My ass is officially clean enough to eat!”
And however much said controlling douchebag begged to help clean the cum from his asshole, Lane wouldn’t allow it. Killjoy.
Like I said. Criminally horny.
“Oh my God, you’re inside me,” Lane says breathily...... LIKE????? Yes. Where did you think he was going with all the back and forth thrusts?
I love how Noah just doesn't give a fuck about anyone or anything that isn't Lane. Not his friends. Not his parents. Constant 'Yeah, I'm fucking my step brother and what of it?' vibes.
Lane. Sweet frustrating baby Lane. Fighting a war he lost at 14. Giving in every single time and liking it, then punishing them both after.
Lane. Who claimed Noah when it mattered most, to the exclusion of worrying about himself.
These two! This love declaration is so unplanned and sweet, god DAMN it, why am I so easily scammed.
“Are you a sure thing?” “The surest,” I whispered. Criminally down bad behavior.
“What if I say I don’t want it?” He didn’t move an inch. “Oh, you want i“Are you a sure thing?” “The surest,” I whispered. Criminally down bad behavior.
“What if I say I don’t want it?” He didn’t move an inch. “Oh, you want it.” “How do you know?” Said the man who is so obvious it can be seen from space.
“Max is not a dick.” He fumed. That’s how I knew his love was real. So real that my chest actually swelled with it. I never thought hearing someone declare I wasn’t a dick could mean so much to me. But it did. Because I was a dick. A giant one.
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