Paul Bryant's Reviews > Gone Girl

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
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did not like it
bookshelves: abandoned, novels


AMY DUNNE

I am Amy. I’m so perfect you may want to puke. It’s okay, I have that effect on everyone, even my parents. They noticed I was so perfect when I was a little girl and so they wrote some vastly popular children’s books called The Adventures of Amazing Amy. You may have been given them to read in school, and you may have puked on them. I am so self-regarding I can’t pass a mirror without congratulating it that it’s reflecting me and not somebody else. I forgot to mention that I have a perfect figure and everybody wants to be my friend. I lived in New York but because I got let go now I have to live with my husband in one of those other states. I forgot its name.

NICK DUNNE

I am Nick, husband of Amy. I am a six foot something book reading slab of pure thinking woman’s hunkaceousness. Is that a word? Hey, it is now. I got let go from my job in New York as a writer – yeah, I know. And now I got let go from the job of Amy’s husband because she’s disappeared.

P BRYANT

Why am I reading this?

OFF-STAGE VOICE

Is it because you like to read popular thrillers from time to time to curry favour with the voters of your obsessional booky website?

P BRYANT

Well, really...

AMY DUNNE

I love Nick.

NICK DUNNE

I love Amy.

AMY DUNNE

Although he can be a bastard at times.

NICK DUNNE

Although she can be a stuck-up bloodyminded princess most of the time.

AMY DUNNE

I hate Nick.

NICK DUNNE

I hate Amy.

P BRYANT

Pass me the sick bag.

NICK DUNNE

Where is Amy? Oh where oh where can she be? Did I say she like just disappeared and shit? It’s why this book is called GONE GIRL and not THE REALLY IRRITATING COUPLE.

P BRYANT

I don’t care where Amy Dunne has gone. If she’s never heard from again, that’s okay with me. But for what it’s worth, I have a few theories.

1. Kidnapped by aliens. Although you’d have thought they’d have thrown her straight back.
2. She’s had plastic surgery and is now the middle Madonna (Vogue era) in a Madonna tribute band.
3. Nick killed her, even if he says he didn’t, the liar. And ate her.
4. Amy killed Nick and is pulling off a fabulous feat of transgender impersonation until page 322 when all will be revealed. And ate him.
5. There never was an Amy. So she’s still here! (Pretty deep, that one.)
6. Just like in that Agatha Christie book, THEY ALL KILLED HER! And ate her. It wasn’t chicken in that basket.

Well, I’ll never know. But that’s okay.
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Reading Progress

December 31, 2013 – Shelved as: to-read-novels
December 31, 2013 – Shelved
March 7, 2014 – Started Reading
March 13, 2014 –
page 101
25.31%
March 16, 2014 –
page 167
41.85%
March 16, 2014 – Shelved as: i-bet-i-never-finish-these
March 16, 2014 – Shelved as: i-bet-i-never-finish-these
March 16, 2014 – Shelved as: abandoned
March 16, 2014 – Shelved as: novels
March 16, 2014 – Finished Reading
June 7, 2014 – Shelved as: abandoned

Comments Showing 1-50 of 320 (320 new)


message 1: by Praj (new)

Praj In a weird way it satisfies me that you rated this book 1-star.


message 2: by Susan (new)

Susan Have not read this book, but I bet the review is better!


Koeeoaddi Bless you, Mr. B.


Elizabeth Thank you. I'm not alone anymore!


Stephanie Sun You did the right thing.


Beata Absolute tripe


message 7: by JK (new) - rated it 1 star

JK Glad someone else hated that book as much as I did.


message 8: by Lilo (new)

Lilo I am glad this book was written. Because if it wasn't, there wouldn't have been this highly enjoyable, laugh-aloud review.


message 9: by Judith (new)

Judith Johnson Wasn't planning to read this, but I sure enjoyed the review! Laughed out loud at the end of a Monday - thanks!!!


message 10: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant thank you too Judith, and everyone else. Gone Girl will be gone to Oxfam shortly.


message 11: by Manny (last edited Mar 17, 2014 01:30PM) (new) - added it

Manny I can't quite put my finger on why, but I sort of pick up this subtly disappointed vibe, like you're too polite to say so but you didn't enjoy it as much as all these people who were raving about the book a couple of years ago and comparing it with Jan Kjærstad and stuff. Am I, you know, way off target here?


message 12: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant Well, I was enjoying it pretty much, but I thought it petered out a bit after page three. So that was quite disappointing.


message 13: by Manny (new) - added it

Manny I knew it! Plug the book all you want, Paul, you won't fool me.


message 14: by Kirk (new)

Kirk I have three coworkers who all had wildly different reactions to this one (roughly: loved it; hated it; ok but hated the ending). Still might read it, I keep wavering on that. But I can recommend Ms. Flynn's Dark Places wholeheartedly, in a fivestarsbrilliantlovedit way.


message 15: by Maya (new)

Maya Panika ::applause:: Sounds like my reaction to The Time Traveller's Wife.


message 16: by Susan (new)

Susan Oh, I hated Time Traveller's Wife. The ending had me in tears... of laughter. Plus, that tosh about the woman who woke up each day with no memory.


Laima Lol! I couldn't finish this book


Helen Hey, go Susan! I hated the Time Travellers Wife too(and, come to that, AN's 2nd book about the twins), hated Gone Girl but most of all I hated Watson's - what was it called? Something like Before I go to Sleep? - utter rubbish. Oo, that was fun. Lots of evaporating steam and hatred!


message 19: by Susan (new)

Susan Yes, Before I Go To Sleep. Well, go to sleep then and don't wake up again! I had to finish it for a book group read and then I hated it so much that I actually had Amazon remove it from my kindle - a sort of detached "ripping it up!"


message 20: by Cecily (new)

Cecily Susan wrote: "Have not read this book, but I bet the review is better!"

Ha ha. I was thinking the same.

Good one, Paul.


message 21: by JK (new) - rated it 1 star

JK Susan wrote: ::applause:: Sounds like my reaction to The Time Traveller's Wife.

I disliked that one as well... never did figure out what the hype was. Glad to have company!


message 22: by Judith (new)

Judith Johnson That's why I love Goodreads! So glad to know I'm not only one who thought BIGTS was load of rubbish. One of most tedious books ever! Read it as thought good to see what was selling so well - but reinforced truth that some really huge bestsellers aren't necessarily good books!


message 23: by Diane (new)

Diane Uhoh! I just ordered it from the
local library. Maybe I better
rethink it, doesn't sound at all
like my type of book. I hate
perfect people!!


message 24: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant I guess what happens in the part of the book I didn't read is that the perfect people get all tore down and made to regret their perfectitude; but it was asking too much for me to stick around and get my kicks like that.


message 25: by Bria (new) - rated it 1 star

Bria Your review was so awesome and hilarious I laughed out loud!


message 26: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant thanks Bria ! I hope I saved you some time as well.


message 27: by Bria (new) - rated it 1 star

Bria I tried reading it a while ago but couldn't finish it lol


Terri I like your review but I like the book too even though they more than deserved each other and I would have preferred if she remained kidnapped by her crazy ex boyfriend.


message 29: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant aw, now you spoiled it for me!


David I don't rate books that I haven't finished...


message 31: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant many people do


message 32: by Lilo (last edited Jul 18, 2014 11:25AM) (new)

Lilo Paul wrote: "many people do"

I am one of them. -- My standard argument for doing so is: If someone poops onto your plate, you don't have to finish your plate to know it is shit. A small taste will do.


Kathy God forbid someone poops on someone's plate.....

Another writer with creepy characters in his books is Koch who wrote The Dinner and his latest which is Summer House with Swimming Pool.......


message 34: by Lilo (new)

Lilo Kathy wrote: "God forbid someone poops on someone's plate.....

Another writer with creepy characters in his books is Koch who wrote The Dinner and his latest which is Summer House with Swimming Pool......."


:-)


message 35: by Judith (new)

Judith Johnson I too don't rate books I haven't finished. As the wife of an author who works incredibly hard I feel it would be unfair of me to condemn something I haven't completed. If I don't like a book I'm free to put it down!


message 36: by Lilo (new)

Lilo Judith wrote: "I too don't rate books I haven't finished. As the wife of an author who works incredibly hard I feel it would be unfair of me to condemn something I haven't completed. If I don't like a book I'm fr..."

I am an author, myself. Yet I grant every reader the right to write an unfavorable review if he/she is annoyed with any of my books, after reading only a part of it.

Time is valuable. Readers' time is also valuable. I think it is absolutely justified to warn other readers to waste valuable time on a book that I, as a reader, find bad enough to toss. It is up to other readers how much they will value or heed such warning. Nobody is going to stop them to go out and buy and read the book if they wish to do so.

I think it is fair enough when the reviewer mentions that he/she hasn't finished reading the book.

Readers of review can also inform themselves about the reviewer. I, for my part, know Paul well enough (after reading many of this reviews) that I know I can trust his judgement. If, on the other hand, a religious fundamentalist condemned a book that was critical on religion, I would not be discouraged to read the book (regardless whether or not the reviewer had finished the book). I would react likewise if a fervent atheist condemned a book because its author assumed that a higher entity exists.

I expect reviewers to state WHY they like or dislike a book, and most of them do. It is really not necessary to suffer through the whole length of a book when you can already tell by reading parts of the book that and why you don't like it.

Would I have to read the whole of "Mein Kampf" if I already felt nauseated after reading 5 pages? Do I have the right to condemn "Mein Kampf" after reading only 5 pages? Yes, I do! Because reading the first 5 pages was all I needed to judge the book and its author.

I could give many other examples that one can form a solid opinion on something (doesn't necessarily have to be a book) upon sampling. At auditions, bad singers, dancers, or actors will hear a "Thank you! That's enough." before they have finished their performance. A restaurant reviewer will not eat through the whole menu (most likely, won't even finish a single dish) before rating the restaurant when the first few bites are disappointing. And an applicant for a job as a secretary won't get the chance to complete the full test when the first 5 minutes show that she is unable to type with 10 fingers, has no manners, and/or hasn't got a clue about spelling or grammar.


message 37: by Judith (new)

Judith Johnson Fair comment! I stand corrected!


message 38: by Lilo (new)

Lilo Judith wrote: "Fair comment! I stand corrected!"

Thank you, Judith.


Stephanie Johnson Brilliant!


message 40: by Gautam (new)

Gautam Prabhu Your review just made my day, thanks for the antidote. Had read 5 pages of this book, couldn't take it any further.


message 41: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant Thanks! I got further than 5 pages but it didn't make me a better person.


Carole Sorry, but if you had continued, you would have had a VERY different opinion of this book...next time try to give it more of a chance before rushing to a (WRONG) opinion of what is going on with the book


message 43: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant I'm sure there is room for different opinions here, after all, it's a really popular book, but I was just thinking life was too short for Amy and Nick to take any more of it up. Older I get more impatient I am. Soon I'll just be reading haiku. And giving most of them up after the first line.


message 44: by Koeeoaddi (last edited Jul 30, 2014 02:32PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Koeeoaddi Paul wrote: "Soon I'll just be reading haiku. And giving most of them up after the first line."


Gone Girl (a haiku)

Amy was perfect
...


Peacejanz As usual,Paul, you gave a great review - I liked the book more than you did. I kept reading trying to figure out how seemingly intelligent people can keep making such dumb mistakes (although I am related to a smart person who does dumb things - maybe I was trying to understand him!). But, Paul, you always entertain me. I have it more stars than you did and understood more after my book club discussed it. Keep up the fine work!


message 46: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant If I stayed awake Mrs K it might have concluded

Amy was perfect
Whether she remained so is
Another matter

or

Amy was perfect
But then, so is cheese on toast
So it's not that hard

Thanks Peacejanz... I will try...


message 47: by Koeeoaddi (last edited Jul 30, 2014 06:32PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Koeeoaddi Ha! ...and PB, I'll take that as tacit consent to finish a whole haiku.


Amy good, Nick bad,
or the other way around?
I don't fucking care!
I hated this book.
Why not slug them both?
Let God sort them out.


Barbara She's a psychopath
But he is an idiot
Both dispicable


Faust Arp This review made me incredibly happy. I cannot stop laughing and I don't think I ever will.


message 50: by Paul (new) - rated it 1 star

Paul Bryant Thanks Ryan - I hope your immediate family will forgive me.


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