This Book is Not for Sale Quotes

“I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?" And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale