Talk:New York and New Jersey campaign/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Binksternet (talk) 17:18, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

The image File:NY-NJ-retreat-1776.jpg appears to me to be based on a map taken from a book or website, not personally created by Wiki Commons user Red4tribe. The original map is not credited or linked—the image is not said to be a modification of it. It seems clear that Red4tribe drew the blue and red arrows, but I would like to know the parentage of the underlying map. If I had to guess, I would say Red4tribe took as his basis this file: Retreat from New York, taken from Chapter 3 of the public domain book American Military History. If so, a larger and clearer version should be drawn up, using the actual size of the original (991 pixels wide), based not on JPG but on SVG or similar vector graphics, for best scaling.
It is not clear in the lead section why the infobox lists March 1777 as the end of the campaign. The lead section drops the reader off at January.
- Comment The specific end date of March is not mentioned, but the skirmishing throughout the winter is.
I wonder if the first paragraph of the lead can be made more of a short-attention-span summary of the entire article, such that the casual student can quickly determine what effect this campaign had on New York and New Jersey. Bringing some material up from the 4th paragraph of the lead might achieve this end. Perhaps something like:

The New York and New Jersey campaign was a series of battles for control of New York City and the state of New Jersey in the American Revolutionary War between British forces under General Sir William Howe and the Continental Army under General George Washington in 1776 and the winter months of 1777. Howe was successful in driving Washington out of New York City, but overextended his reach into New Jersey, and ended the active campaign season in January 1777 with only a few outposts near the city. Britain maintained control of New York City and some of the surrounding territory until the war ended in 1783, using it as a base for operations elsewhere in North America. Northern New Jersey was the scene of skirmishing between the opposing forces for the rest of the war.

I do not see how this campaign relates to France entering the war in 1778, as noted near the end of the lead section, but not in the article. Removed mention from the lead, since the entry is in response to the 1777 campaigns.
In the quotebox which has the eyes/bottle/whore bit from Charles Lee, you have wikilinked North because he appears nowhere else, and the reader would not otherwise know who that is. What do you think about a wikilink right there to Germain as well? And Howe, since there are two brothers to confuse? Done
In Wikipedia's logical quotations style, the quote "the officer who commanded [the forces at Trenton] and to whom this misfortune is to be attributed has lost his life by his rashness" should have the full stop follow the quotation mark, as it is not a full sentence. Same with "that M. de Vergennes is hostile in his heart and anxious for the success of the Rebels I have not a shadow of a doubt".
- Not Fixed According to WP:LQ the terminating punctuation is within the quote marks if it is in the quoted material (which it is in these two cases).
Is the absence of Howe's name intended here: "...pursuant to these powers, Admiral sent a messenger..."? Fixed

Okay, that's my review. Looking forward to responses to the points I brought up. Binksternet (talk) 19:47, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your detailed comments; I'll try to get to them in the next few days. (I was wondering if the sourcing on the lead map was an issue. I'm fairly certain I've seen PD maps that look like that; I'll try to track down something suitable.) Magic♪piano 01:02, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The source map is either the one you found or File:New_york_retreat_1776.jpg; I think one is just an earlier version of the other. I've update Red4Tribe's map description; creating an SVG will take some time. Your call if you want hold up the review for it -- it probably won't be finished before next week sometime. Magic♪piano 16:01, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've made changes to address your issues (or commented above). Magic♪piano 18:03, 20 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That initial map image is good enough for a Good Article. Congratulations! Binksternet (talk) 15:43, 23 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Great. Thanks! Magic♪piano 16:05, 23 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]