So yeah, it is really hard to take any Red Sonja story seriously, though a few runs unWhy do I read these silly graphic novels again?
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Oh, right.
So yeah, it is really hard to take any Red Sonja story seriously, though a few runs under different publishers and writers have treated her as a more serious character than others. The Dynamite runs mostly lean heavily on the cheesecake (not only does Sonja wear that chainmail bikini as an all-purpose outfit for every occasion, but she also apparently manages to find eyeshadow and blush even while dungeon-crawling) but otherwise put her in epic adventures suitable for any fantasy hero. Unfortunately, they also don't really distinguish her from any other fantasy hero, aside from the chainmail bikini.
Queen Sonja volume 1 (the first of four volumes) puts Sonja on a throne. Well, Conan gets there, so why not Sonja? As with most of the Dynamite graphic novels, the geopolitics and geography of Sonja's world are handwaved a lot, as are military tactics. Where do all these armies come from? How are plucky peasant ex-slaves suddenly defeating armies made up of professional soldiers reinforced with undead? Well, because they are led by Red Sonja, of course. Who in this volume, for once, puts on something other than a chainmail bikini as she rides a war chariot that chops up enemies like a battlefield blender.
Sonja leads an uprising against an evil empire, becomes queen when the rightful queen dies, and is now faced with the evil empire, still ruled by some sort of low-rent Thulsa Doom sorcerer type.
It's very cheesy dumb S&S, but I liked this better than the rather stupid "Wrath of the Gods" storyline....more
Dynamite's Red Sonja run continues to be meh. This is a sequel to the Wrath of the Gods graphic novel, in which Sonja met a pseudo-Norse pantheon expoDynamite's Red Sonja run continues to be meh. This is a sequel to the Wrath of the Gods graphic novel, in which Sonja met a pseudo-Norse pantheon exported to the Hyborean Age. In Revenge of the Gods, the gods seek... revenge, duh.
So Loki (who got kicked out of "Wodinaz" in the previous volume) is skulking about being all broody, when he stumbles across some raiders led by a guy with a magic ring, which he recognizes as actually being a powerful artifact. So Loki goes about taking over the raiders and soon he's conquering local kingdoms and being up to his old evil self. Sonja takes up trying to defend the kingdom because the king paid her, and we end up with an epic battle involving Thor, Fenrir, the Midgard Serpent (not called that, here he's just a giant snake that Loki rides like a subway train) and Surtur.
As in the last volume, I found the use of Norse gods and mythology in Red Sonja's world kind of weird. This story was also a little incoherent (at times I swear armies were, like, teleporting across continents with the speed with which they arrived in another kingdom), and this is really not the low fantasy setting of Robert E. Howard's Conan and Sonja stories. No, there are gods and wizards and kaiju-sized monsters, and Red Sonja flying around with her sword like a Wuxia heroine. She's more of a D&D superhero than a dark fantasy swords and sorcery protagonist.
As usual, it's the cheesecake covers that are the biggest attraction, and the cheesy ridiculousness of Sonja traveling everywhere from the snowy north to battles between armies without ever throwing anything heavier over her chainmail bikini than a light cloak....more
The hardcover edition of this series is probably a better way to appreciate something that is only appreciable on a ginormous scale, like Godzilla. A The hardcover edition of this series is probably a better way to appreciate something that is only appreciable on a ginormous scale, like Godzilla. A loving tribute to the classic Godzilla films, this is not at all like the laughably bad Marvel series back in the 70s where Godzilla met the Fantastic Four and pestered Nick Fury. This is the Godzilla who wrecks cities, who is an unstoppable force of nature that humans foolishly try to stop, yet sometimes winds up being an ally, when other monsters come to Earth.
The protagonist is a young lieutenant in the Japanese Self Defense Force in 1954 when Godzilla first comes ashore and flattens Tokyo. Mostly by virtue of having survived the experience, he is recruited by an American military officer into a new monster-stopping unit (called the Anti-Megalosaurus Force, or AMF).
Each issue (or chapter in the volume) shows our lieutenant getting older as decade after decade, Godzilla returns again and again, to Japan, Vietnam, India, East Africa, and so on, leaving death and destruction in his wake, with the AMF futilely trying to stop him. They field a variety of new superweapons (including Mechagodzilla!), none of which do more than annoy the big guy.
Nearly all the other monsters from decades of Godzilla movies make cameos as well... Hidora, Ghidra, Rhodan, Mothra, all your old favorites. Lt. Murakami gets older and more jaded as unstoppable kaiju continue wrecking the planet, until a final, apocalyptic showdown which is the sort of thing a movie would do nowadays if someone green-lit a Godzilla movie with the budget of the 2014 American version but featuring all the old-school cheesiness of the Showa films.
Great fun for Godzilla fans, but I admit 4 stars is generous; this story is not deep, but it's faithful Godzilla fanboying and the closest I've seen to representing a Godzilla movie on a comics page....more
This is clearly a bit of filler between trilogies, and a contrived excuse for Larry Correia to write a battle between a giant robot and Godzilla into This is clearly a bit of filler between trilogies, and a contrived excuse for Larry Correia to write a battle between a giant robot and Godzilla into his Grimnoir trilogy, but like the rest of his magical-superhero alternate universe stories, it's fun and action packed pulp adventure that just doesn't bear too much thinking about.
Taking place about twenty years after the end of Warbound, Tokyo Raider stars Joe Sullivan Jr., a chip off the old block. Having joined the Marines, just like that he is whisked off to Japan at the direct request of the President (who is not a historical figure but instead a familiar face from the previous books). Even though the US and the Imperium are clearly headed for war, at the moment the Imperium is at war with their mutual enemy, the USSR. Stalin's sorcerers have summoned a giant monster that's devastating Japan, and Imperium scientists and mages have built a giant robot that, conveniently, none of their own magically-gifted warriors can operate. Somehow our old friend Toru, now in charge of the Imperium, figures his old frenemy Jake's son is the man they need.
This doesn't really make sense, but like I said, it's just an excuse for a battle between a giant robot blazoned with a rising sun pumping the Star Spangled Banner from its speakers, and a Godzilla-sized demon with the Soviet hammer & sickle burned into its chest. Fix that image in your head and have fun. It does make me look forward to the next Grimnoir series....more
While I really liked Correia's Grimnoir trilogy, I'm not that fond of urban fantasy gun porn, so I probably would have passed on MHI, except that AudiWhile I really liked Correia's Grimnoir trilogy, I'm not that fond of urban fantasy gun porn, so I probably would have passed on MHI, except that Audible put the first book on sale for $1.99. So why not?
Monster Hunter International is a great big cheesy action flick, and more than any book I can ever recall saying this about, it really, really read like the author had the movie visuals in his head as he wrote. He wants MHI to be a big-budget summer blockbuster movie, and I admit it probably would look pretty cool. It would also be one of those big dumb movies that are fun for the special effects and the action scenes, and probably feature pretty actors who can't act and care even less about consistency and suspension of disbelief than the book.
Don't get me wrong - MHI was fun. I probably liked it better than I liked Harry Dresden. Owen Pitt bears suspicious evidence of being a bit of authorial wish-fulfillment (great big guy who used to be an accountant, a gun nut, and of course an almost unkillable action hero who gets the hot girl by virtue of True Love and not actually doing much other than shooting lots of things to impress her), but if you want an urban fantasy hero who's all testosterone and none of that whiny faux-gallantry of Harry's, Pitt's got all of that plus a dose of Chosen One.
Oh, the plot? Well, Owen gets attacked by his weenie middle manager boss, who went and got bitten by a werewolf and thinks this is the path to upper management or something. Pitt throws him out a window, and wakes up in the hospital being grilled by federal agents who slap a bunch of made-up secrecy laws on him. Then a mercenary shows up and gives him a business card for Monster Hunter International. This leads to him joining a monster-hunter organization, killing lots of undead, and having to save the world from a medium-weight Big Bad who wants to summon Cthulhu. (Not actually called Cthulhu in the book, but same basic idea.)
The premise is basically that all the monsters of myth and legend are real, more or less. As is usual in these sorts of stories, somehow you've got a world full of vampires, werewolves, faeries, ghosts, chupacabras, and eldritch horrors, but the general population remains unaware of them. MHI makes money by hunting down and killing supernatural creatures. There is a lot of kvetching about the government and bureaucracy, with the government Men In Black being obstacles to the MHI actually getting stuff done. This is actually kind of funny since MHI gets its money from government bounties on the creatures it hunts. ("The government sucks! Except when we can get rich off of taxpayer-provided subsidies...")
There's nothing special about the writing or the setting, but for fast entertainment (despite the length of the book), Monster Hunter International was enough fun that I'll probably try the next book in the series. This is really a book for genre nerds, as in-jokes abound and no trope goes unexploited. And the trailer park elves and heavy metal-loving orcs were pretty funny. 3.5 stars....more
This book is cheesy big guns blazing entertainment, and I loved it. I am giving it five stars not because it is the best of the best, but because it wThis book is cheesy big guns blazing entertainment, and I loved it. I am giving it five stars not because it is the best of the best, but because it was fun and action packed and it's an example of an author doing nothing more and nothing less than entertaining his audience without pretense.
Warbound is the third book in the Grimnoir trilogy, so you want to read the first two. It is set in an alt-history in which a magical being came to Earth in the 1850s, and its presence bestowed magical powers on 1% of the population. Most people get a single power, so there are "Brutes" (super-strength), "Heavies" (gravity controllers), "Cogs" (gadgeteer geniuses), "Readers" (telepaths), "Fades" (turn insubstantial), "Torches" (pyrokinesis) and so on.
Basically, despite the "fantasy" element, these are period superhero novels. And the author devotes many words to describing the battles in full-page multi-panel glory. It's hard to do superheroes (an inherently visual genre) justice in written form, but Correia does a pretty good job. At times he reminded me of his fellow Mormon author Brandon Sanderson, who's also known for his intricate "magic systems" and long descriptions of characters figuring out how to use their powers in creative new ways, but Correia's plots are less contemplative (which is not to say simpler) and more about the action.
That said, major suspensions of disbelief are required, but no more than with most epic or urban fantasy.
In the conclusion of the trilogy, war with the Japanese Imperium is imminent, but only the knights of the Grimnoir know that Chairman Tokugawa, (view spoiler)[killed in the last book (hide spoiler)], has been replaced by an impostor. His "son," Iron Guard Toru Tokugawa, knows of the deception and the corruption of the Imperium's magical training schools, Iron Guard, and Shadow Guard, and so has reluctantly joined the Grimnoir.
Since this is a rising Japan in the 1930s, guilty of pretty much the same atrocities Japan was committing in Asia at that time in the real world, this causes a lot of tension with the Grimnoir, who have been sworn enemies of the Imperium. Toru manifests all the usual tropes about fictional samurai: hard-headed, death before dishonor, all non-Japanese are weak and lazy, grudging respect for Westerners who are brave warriors even if they are ignorant barbarians, blah blah blah.
A summary of the plot would be kind of pointless: if the premise does not interest you, it's not gonna interest you, but Correia does do a very good job of working within the parameters he has established and then treating it seriously. Powers work a certain way and everything follows from certain first principles, and when some of the big twists are revealed, more pieces fall into place, including some that have been developed since the first book.
Is this is gonzo gun porn and superhero slugfests? Yes! And awfully damn fun. But awfully damn intelligent for a historical superhero novel as well. And there is a conclusion to bring this trilogy to a definitive close, while still leaving open the possibility (I would guess, based on Correia's prolificness, inevitability) of a new series coming down the pike.
This is not the best written or deepest or most original series. It's just fun and entertaining. Did I mention damn fun? Okay, so I am a superhero nerd. But in all seriousness, for what it is, the plotting, pacing, characterization, and worldbuilding were all far above the somewhat low bar I have for this kind of book. Hence, 5 stars. Would read more Grimnoir, definitely....more
This is the second book in the Grimnoir trilogy. I was quite taken with Hard Magic, so I pushed the next book up on my queue. This is an alt-history wThis is the second book in the Grimnoir trilogy. I was quite taken with Hard Magic, so I pushed the next book up on my queue. This is an alt-history world in which some great magical "power" came to Earth in the 1850s, granting magical superpowers to a small percentage of the population. Now these magical "Actives" are being persecuted by the government; in fact, the conspiracy to round up and inter or eliminate all Actives is what drives much of the action in Spellbound, though the real threat is something much worse.
Most of the characters are returnees from book one, from Jake Sullivan, the smarter-than-he-looks gravity-controlling bruiser and war hero to Faye Vierra, the super-smart, super-fast Okie girl with teleportation powers, ninja fighting abilities, and super-ADD. Most of our other (surviving) friends from Hard Magic are back too, and as the 30s roll on, Correia continues to insert historical figures into his magical alt-history. Interestingly, it looks like there will be no World War II, or at least a very different one, since we learn here that Hitler got put up against a wall in Germany when he first starting making trouble.
But that's okay, because in this version of history, the Japanese Imperium is becoming nigh-unstoppable. In addition to a massive military and superior technology, they also have the most powerful Actives in the world, notably their elite Iron Guard, whom we met in the last book. Chairman Tokugawa, the Big Bad of the previous volume, makes a cameo here to let Jake Sullivan know that things are only going to get worse.
Correia does a good job of weaving the two threats simultaneously throughout the book: the treachery and abnegation of civil rights threatening the knights of the Grimnoir from their own government, and the cosmic horror that is apparently approaching Earth to destroy the source of all magic, and the Earth. He adds a new main character to the cast in the form of an Iron Guard gone ronin.
Mostly this is another action adventure with loads of cinematic fight scenes, culminating in a battle in Washington D.C. against a 70-foot-tall demon. (Really.) Like Hard Magic, Spellbound may purport to be an alt-history fantasy, but it's really a superhero novel.
It's also the middle of a trilogy, which means you'll miss a lot if you haven't read the first book, and not much is resolved at the end of this one. But it continues to be highly entertaining high adventure, not terribly deep but great fun. Correia is starting to let his politics creep out a bit more (FDR is apparently going to be the Worst President Ever), but it's mostly held in check until the villainous leftist fall-guy's monologue at the end, where he practically twirls his mustache and cackles villainous leftist laughter.
Notwithstanding the straw-leftists, though, it's still a fun series....more
Contrary to its title, Hard Magic is not an urban fantasy: it's basically a superhero novel. Set in an alternate history between world wars, a mysteriContrary to its title, Hard Magic is not an urban fantasy: it's basically a superhero novel. Set in an alternate history between world wars, a mysterious alien "power" came to Earth in the middle of the 19th century and granted a subset of the population magical powers. For the majority of "Actives," these powers come in singular and well-defined forms: there are "brutes" who have super strength, "torches" who are pyrokinetics, "mouths" with mind control powers, "heavies" who can manipulate gravity, etc. But it turns out there are also other forms of magic, such as those wielded by the Japanese Imperium's "Iron Guard." These magical super-soldiers have kanji branded into their skins that give them accelerated healing, protection from harm, strength and speed, and other powers. There are also necromancers who raise the dead to create zombie armies, and other manifestations of magical power, but they all function pretty much like super powers.
In this alternate history, Japan is on a path to world domination thanks to possessing the most powerful and heavily trained magical warriors, and fleets of dirigibles that function like bombers and aircraft carriers all at once. Led by the most powerful man on Earth (literally and figuratively), Chairman Tokugawa, this is the Japan of the 1930s: expansionist, fascist, and unambiguously and unapologetically the bad guys. Tokugawa, as the Big Bad, is a great if somewhat stereotyped villain. Yes, he's a centuries-old samurai with magical superpowers who goes on about strength and honor and likes to recite poems to his enemies before killing them, but he has class and style and he's the sort of villain you love to see chewing the scenery and can't wait for the climactic battle where he finally goes down.
This book has lots of climactic battles, each one more epic than the last. Jake Sullivan, the main character, is a "heavy" who can control gravity. He's also a great big slab of macho, a war veteran, an ex-con, an ex-P.I., fearless alpha, and probably a little bit of an authorial wish-fulfillment. He hits every manly-man trope in the noir genre, and you know what? That's okay! Because this book is what it is, a raging male power fantasy like the classic superhero comics where Superman knocked Nazi fighter planes out of the sky. Here we have Jake Sullivan fighting other "Actives," then pitted against his own brother, who of course is bigger and badder than him and thus is the penultimate Boss level Jake must get past before he can face the Chairman himself.
But it's not just Jake tromping around in a California fortified with "Peace Rays" created by Tesla and fighting Imperium ninjas and invincible Iron Guards and dirigible sky pirates. He joins the Knights of the Grimnoir, an international organization dedicated to protecting the magically gifted and the non-magical alike. Jake's ex is Delilah, a former New Orleans whore with super-strength. A secondary protagonist is Faye, an Okie "Traveler" (teleporter) who is a hoot as a character, her mind running a mile a minute in a hundred directions, and in the climax (in which she, like Jake, has without a whole lot of plausible explanation powered up by a factor of about eleventy) is running amok through the Japanese dirigible fleet blasting magical ninjas with a shotgun that never seems to run out of ammo, and that's before she and Jake go completely Super Saiyan against the Chairman and his Iron Guard.
If you're thinking this sounds a lot like Steelheart or Mistborn, you're right. This was my first Larry Correia novel, but his writing style and his worldbuilding reminded me a lot of Brandon Sanderson. Like Sanderson, Correia writes straight-up action/adventure with lots of heroics and over-the-top power stunts and characters who are often archetypes more than fully-realized people, but if you are in the mood for grand pulp adventure, this book hits a high mark and almost got 5 stars from me. It is a guns blazing, powers activating, bloody spectacular pulp superhero slugfest that is, if not a literary masterpiece and unabashedly un-PC, absolutely great fun for those who like an occasional dose of fist-pumping "America, booyah!" heroics....more
The fourth book in Peter Clines's superhero/zombie apocalypse series at first made me think he'd run out of ideas and so was writing a prequel novel. The fourth book in Peter Clines's superhero/zombie apocalypse series at first made me think he'd run out of ideas and so was writing a prequel novel. George Bailey, formerly known as the Mighty Dragon and then Saint George, is now a mundane janitor in a pre-zombie apocalypse L.A.?
Things are not what they seem. It may be a bit spoilery, but we've already seen supervillains in this series who can mess with your head, so just think of movies like the Matrix and Inception. Barry (aka "Zap"), the resident SF geek, is quick to make that comparison explicitly once the heroes get together and start figuring it out. The plot was fairly clever, and so with several red herrings, there are multiple layers to unravel, enough to make the reader as well as the characters begin to doubt what's real.
Captain Freedom, Saint George, Stealth, Corpse Girl, Zap, and Cerberus all feature prominently in this latest book in a series that doesn't look like it's ending any time soon. I've enjoyed all the Ex-Heroes books as the rather silly entertainment they are; Clines's writing is still not spectacular (the battles are getting really repetitive, I'm sick of Stealth always "crossing her arms," and I'm actually just sick of Stealth and her grimdark Batman-with-boobs schtick in general) but so far he has not exhausted the story potential of his world. I do hope, however, that he actually takes the series somewhere with a resolution, rather than just continuing it as long as the well can be pumped....more
What this? Red Hulk? Hulk not red! Hulk GREEN! Hulk not read Hulk comics in long time. Who all these people? Rick Jones is Blue Hulk? No, he Blue AbomWhat this? Red Hulk? Hulk not red! Hulk GREEN! Hulk not read Hulk comics in long time. Who all these people? Rick Jones is Blue Hulk? No, he Blue Abomination, but call self "A-Bomb." Hulk thinks this is a stupid name.
Red Hulk start like murder mystery. She-Hulk, with spandex spray-painted on Hulk-boobs, with Doc Samson in Russia, find Abomination dead. Doc Samson say Hulk not only beat Abomination but then shot with big Hulk-gun. WTF? Since when Hulk use gun? But turn out it not Hulk at all, it RED HULK. Also obligatory fight between American superheroes and Russian superheroes. It superhero rule: two teams meet in other country, must fight, no matter how stupid reason.
Hulk think Marvel milking Hulk franchise. Now there is X-this and X-that so why not make Blue Hulk and Red Hulk and Cosmic Hulk (this actual Hulk character, apparently) and Fifty Shades of Grey Hulk? (Actually, not bad idea - She-Hulk have nice rack - No, no! Bad Hulk! She-Hulk Hulk's cousin!)
This volume collect first six issues of Red Hulk. Each issue, Red Hulk kick someone's butt.
Round 1: Red Hulk trash 9 BILLION dollar S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier. Why anybody spend 9 billion dollars on big flying toy in world with Hulks? Everyone know it just going to get smashed eventually. Cute S.H.I.E.L.D. agent follow Tony Stark around looking about 12 years old. She supposed to be butt-kicking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but look like should be cosplaying Sailor Moon.
Round 2: Red Hulk beat crap out of Iron Man. What Tony Stark expect? Marvel canon make clear Iron Man not match for Hulk.
Round 3: Red Hulk vs. Abomination. But actually Rick Jones, Blue Abomination. Aka "A-Bomb." Hulk still say stupid name. Hulk-base have giant harpy robots with Betty Ross's face. U.S. government in Marvel Universe must have trillion-dollar adamantium coins in vault. Entire budget for NSA and Obamacare spent in one day fighting Hulk.
Round 4: Red Hulk punch out the Watcher. Hulk admit, Hulk always wanted to do that. Watcher show up speaking to nobody saying "I am Uatu sworn to watch blah blah blah" Just watch, bald man, and stop monologing. Then Red Hulk finally fight real Hulk. Red Hulk taunt Hulk, say smarter and stronger. As usual, Red Hulk get upper hand in first round.
Round 5: Red Hulk vs. Thor. Red Hulk beat Thor first round too. Red Hulk actually jump to the moon with Thor, then jump all the way back to Earth. Hulk serious. Hulk raise eyebrow at this.
Round 6: Everyone get involved. Fantastic Four. Thor. Iron Man. She-Hulk. Sub-Mariner. And Hulk. Big battle. First Thor winning rematch. Then Hulk step in. Hulk vs. Red Hulk for final smack-down. San Franscisco almost shaken into the sea, so Sub-Mariner summon giant sea monsters to stabilize California. Hmm... Hulk not smart with science like Bruce Banner, but Hulk think this maybe lazy even for comic book. But fight good.
Big mystery all through six issues is: who is Red Hulk? But not find out even at very end. Red herring was false. Hahahaha red herring! You see what Hulk did there? Hulk made funny!
This entertaining book of Hulk and Red Hulk smashing, and beating up half Marvel Universe. But not big on plot or character - sometimes superhero comics have real writing. Not Red Hulk. This comic book for ten-year-olds. But fun anyway. Give to ten-year-old....more
I can't tell if he's trying to be serious here, but he's a very seriousprolific author who GIANT, EVIL CRABS INVADE WALES!
This is Guy N. Smith:
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I can't tell if he's trying to be serious here, but he's a very seriousprolific author who seems to be going gangbusters with the ebook rights to his out-of-print pulp paperbacks.
So, is he a sadly underrated British writer whose work deserves wider literary acclaim? You be the judge!
“I don’t, I can’t believe it!” Pat Benson was close to hysteria. “It’s just not possible! It’s a nightmare! Cliff, please tell me it isn’t real!”
“It’s real enough,” he said grimly. “I wish to God it wasn’t, though! Just look at the size of that one!”
King Crab! Nobody could have doubted the latest arrival’s right to rule. Half as big again as the rest of those nightmarish creatures, this one was the very personification of evil. It waddled slowly to the front of the others, its pincers waving menacingly as though defying any one of them to challenge its authority. Some of them moved back, huddling together.
This is a really dumb book. And apparently it was a best-seller in 1976. Oh, the 70s... the Decade That Taste Forgot.
Oh wait, now we have the Doritos Locos Taco. So never mind... at least Night of the Crabs will not give you orange fingers and heart disease.
But really, GIANT EVIL CRABS. They're intelligent and they have glowing red eyes. Could you possibly make this book dumber? Yes, yes you could - you could make the goddamn things indestructible - they take direct hits from tank guns and mortars and then pick up the tanks and toss them in the ocean. At one point the British Army is talking about using nukes to get rid of GIANT CRABS. And you could add pointless sex scenes that are almost charming in their businesslike fumble-thrust-and-moan details, and you could make everyone kind of stupid so that every time the crabs go back into the ocean, even though they laid waste to the coast last time, everyone just kind of says, "Well, maybe they won't come back." Uh, really?
And yet, I'm giving this cheesy pulp ridiculousness 3 big stars. Why? Well, because it was fun and entertaining, even if ever-so-bad, kind of like a Doritos Locos Taco. Night of the Crabs is a B-monster-movie, with an obligatory dose of 70s soft porn (which is really pretty mild compared to porn today — I mean, 50 Shades of Gray?). GIANT CRABS come out of the ocean and eat people, they rampage about for a bit destroying trains and tanks and bridges (I cannot get over the crabs picking up a tank...), until a brainy scientist figures out how to kill them. And you know how in those monster movies there's always a final scene after the monster is "killed" where you see it open its eyes or a claw bursts out of the ground or you see its spawn crawling off to new hunting grounds? Yeah, an ending just like that, which is why apparently these books actually became a series. Hey, it was the 70s, go figure.
"I’m more than glad I let you come with me tonight," he whispered as he zipped himself up again. "I’m afraid, though, that we must still keep an eye open for those crabs!"
You know, that is not exactly a line I'd want to use immediately after having sex....more
Okay, I have to say this up front; in many ways, Swan Song is a very stupid book. It's highly derivative of Stephen King's The Stand, to which everyonOkay, I have to say this up front; in many ways, Swan Song is a very stupid book. It's highly derivative of Stephen King's The Stand, to which everyone compares it to, for good reason, and Robert McCammon is no Stephen King.
When I say it's derivative, I don't mean I think McCammon was deliberately imitating The Stand, though I can't imagine he was unfamiliar with King's novel, and assuming he was, it's kind of amazing how many obvious similarities there are that he didn't see fit to alter a smidgen. In Swan Song, it's a nuclear war that wipes out most of the human race, but from there it proceeds much like The Stand. We see the good guys' lives in the days before the apocalypse, and the bad guys', and then we see what goes down and how the good guys and the bad guys gather in their respective groups, and of course it all leads to a final confrontation deciding the fate of the world.
And yet here I am giving this stupid, derivative book 5 stars. Why? 'Cause I just loved it. It's just a great post-apocalytic epic full of memorable characters and action and adventure and magic and love, and what can I say, I am a sucker for big honkin' doorstopper novels about the end of the world. McCammon puts his book through every trope in the post-apocalyptic checklist: pretty virginal magical white girl with a heart that is pure who will remake the world? Check. Helpful colored people who assist her on her quest? Check. Cartoonishly evil psychopathic bad guys with, like, carved wooden nail-studded hands and big black torture trailers they haul around and a Joker-like madman who plays gladiatorial games with people and then practices messy taxidermy with the losers? Check. Doomsday devices and final heroic sacrifices and True Love pretty much appearing out of thin air? Check. A magical MacGuffin that exists to conveniently manifest magic powers to lift the protagonists past little derailing plot holes? Check.
But damn, it's a good read. It's just one of those books you have to read without thinking too much. Turn off your inner critic, turn your sensitivity to annoying tropes way down, and Swan Song is crackin' great apocalyptic fun.
So, my 5-star rating should not be construed as endorsing this as a Great Work or the Best Post-Apocalyptic Novel Ever or anything like that. Sometimes I just have to rate a book on my gut reaction, and all 956 pages of this thing were page-turners. I almost dropped it a star for the ending, which not only combined deux ex machinas with ticking time bomb countdowns and supposedly-dead characters conveniently rising up to deliver one last smiting and heroes running through gauntlets of narrow and improbable escapes and tearjerker sacrifices, but also some really, really bad (like head-bangingly bad) science. Of course since the book has been randomly interjecting supernatural events with no explanation since the beginning, I guess it's kind of pointless to complain about how (view spoiler)[I'm pretty sure even 30 25-megaton nuclear bombs will not melt the ice caps and they certainly will not "throw the earth off its axis." (hide spoiler)] But come on....
Still, like I said, I am a sucker for this kind of book, including the tearjerker sacrifices and the Magical Girl randomly chosen by some Higher Power to save the world. So if you like this kind of story, do read it for the pure fun of it. But I will understand if those with less affection for the occasional pure cheese genre read do not find themselves compelled to read 956 pages of bad guys chasing good guys through a nuclear winter....more
This is not a perfect book, but it is perfect for what it's been marketed as: a great big entertaining blockbuster of a summer read. In many ways, it This is not a perfect book, but it is perfect for what it's been marketed as: a great big entertaining blockbuster of a summer read. In many ways, it almost feels like a rip-off/homage to Stephen King's The Stand, and if you liked that novel, it's almost certain you will like this one. The book is divided into two parts: everything leading up to the vampire apocalypse, and then the post-apocalypse world, a hundred years later. There is a large cast of characters, a tangle of subplots, and a really annoying cliffhanger at the very end which makes it clear that there's going to be a sequel. Cronin's writing is good, though I found him to be sloppy on a number of details, and not as visceral as King (nor is Cronin as ruthless and bloodthirsty as King). But if you want a big doorstopper novel to settle down with and enjoy without expecting it to rock your world or change the way you look at literature, this will fit the bill....more
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